The emotional education of boys and girls is essential for their proper developmentso that they grow up in good health and with solid values concerning the functioning of human relations and people’s feelings.
emotional validation is one of the most important elements in this aspect. It is something that must be practiced in the education of our children and it will be an essential learning in the future so that adults know how to manage their emotions successfully.
By practicing daily habits of emotional validation in raising boys and girls, we will be able to communicate with them on a more complex and deeper level, training social skills such as empathy and emotional management, and accompanying them in the process of understanding themselves. without judging themselves dysfunctionally.
What does it mean to validate an emotion?
Validating an emotion in adults as in children means legitimizing it from the outset, accepting its validity and do not judge it a priori, whether it generates discomfort, well-being, or whether it is neutral. On the other hand, it also involves accepting that emotions and feelings are complex (for example, we can sometimes feel how guilty we feel for being happy in a certain situation). It is, in short, a key aspect in the education of boys and girls in the process of becoming familiar with the nuances of their most emotional side.
By validating an emotion, we make it clear to the other that we understand what they are feeling and that it is perfectly normal to feel it, and that we are not going to judge these feelings at any time. .
Validating the emotions of the people around us allows us to communicate much better with them and is an exercise in empathy that will bring us, in the long term, the opportunity to build more meaningful and deep relationships.
In the realm of children, validation is essential in their upbringing, as mentioned before, and constitutes learning and training in empathy, since we teach the child that people can put themselves in the place of others and validate your emotions.
How can we validate emotions in boys and girls?
These are the main tips, guidelines, and strategies we can follow to validate emotions in boys and girls in the context of home parenting.
1. Manage your own emotions and lead by example
To validate our children’s emotions, we must first learn to manage our own, because There’s no point in trying to teach others to control their emotions and we don’t have that ability..
Practicing self-control over the most intense emotions that overwhelm us, learning to control how we feel at all times, and being able to identify our own emotions are some of the most basic emotional intelligence skills.
These skills can be acquired through all kinds of courses or training, or they can be trained by a qualified psychology professional.
2. Speak from an equal position
To achieve effective and truthful communication, it is necessary to speak to the child from an equal position so that he sees that our goal is share with us how you feel; we don’t mean to scold or admonish you.
To reach this position of equality, we can lean down and talk to the boy or the girl who looks him in the eye, in this way we can calm them down and give them the possibility of expressing themselves with us as equals .
3. Help him describe how he feels
Helping the child to describe what he feels is of great importance, especially in the little ones who have not yet fully developed language.
It is in these cases that it is necessary help him to identify little by little what he feels at each moment: if he feels sad, angry or furious, interact with him so that he explains to us what is happening to him at all times.
In the case of older boys and girls, it is important to let them express themselves freely and to tell us exactly how they feel and how their emotions affect them.
4. Help him explain how he feels
Once we have identified what the child is feeling, it is important that we begin a process of explaining what is happening to him, try to explain together why he feels like that, as long as he doesn’t understand.
This section is important for young children because when we explain to them why they may feel a certain way, we help them learn a series of important social skills such as empathy and emotional management.
For example, if a child feels angry because his brother is playing on the video console and starts breaking things around the house, we should explore together the idea of whether he feels this because he also wants to play and which his brother won. don’t let him.
At the same time, we can give him a series of advice or instructions so that he can solve his problem and stop feeling like that, by telling him for example to play something else or to wait his turn to play.
5. Avoid judgment
Validating emotions also means not judging what the boy or girl may be feeling at any time, because when we judge what they are feeling, we may make them feel that their feelings are not important or invalid. .
If, for example, our son falls and hurts himself because he plays irresponsibly, we must avoid any criticism or negative judgment and not blame, but explain why he feels this way and what he should do next time. to avoid an accident.
For a child to grow up healthy and with positive self-esteem, we must avoid making moral judgments about your emotions during the validation process.
6. Provide tools to manage your emotions
Just like adults, children can also learn emotional management tools that we can teach and educate them gradually.
Some strategies that can be practiced are channeling emotions, relaxation techniques and offering other alternative options that can help the child overcome their negative emotion.
By explaining to the child that recess is over and that he must go take a shower, so that we make him understand that there are times for everything, we will help him to better overcome his anger.
7. Respect above all
Respect is essential in any interpersonal relationship and educating children by practicing a respectful modality will ensure that we that they grow up feeling loved, loved and feeling that they and their feelings matter.
A family environment where respect for the feelings of others is paramount is important for children to grow up surrounded by affection and also for them to learn to respect others.
Are you looking for professional psychological help?
If you are interested in psychotherapeutic assistance, contact me.
My number is Caroline MarinI am a psychologist federated by FEAP and I serve adolescents, adults and families, either in person in Seville or online via video call.