Jealousy between brothers: how to detect them and what can we do?

Jealousy between siblings is one of the main problems for some families in which there are young children. And while childhood is a time of discovery and excitement, it is also true that it is a phase in which the relative irrationality of children can be combined with competitive minds and the need for acceptance and attention. , resulting in an explosive mixture.

The simple fact of ceasing to be the center of care as soon as a brother or sister is born sometimes produces frustration that is difficult for a minor to manage. However, sometimes it is not the order of birth that triggers this type of conflict between the little ones, and the root of the problem can be a damaged self-esteem by other factors.

In any case, it is clear that the symptoms of jealousy between siblings must be recognized in order to intervene as quickly as possible and bring peace to a relationship that should only be characterized by affection.

    Symptoms or signs of jealousy between siblings

    Every family is different, so to some extent it is normal that there is variability in how jealousy between siblings is expressed. However, there are some very frequent behavioral dynamics when these intra-family conflicts appear. They are as follows.

    1. Tease at the slightest opportunity

    Where there is jealousy between brothers, there is ridicule, because they are a way to disguise an attack pretending to be an act of humorous expression.

    2. Direct assaults

    These types of attacks, which consist of actions aimed at causing pain to the other, are more common in children than in adolescents, although they can occur in both age groups. In boys, they are more common, and when the jealousy is very intense, you don’t even have to have an excuse to attack the other.

    3. Indirect aggression: attempts to drive your friends away

    Indirect aggression is that in which we try to move the social circles that serve as support to a person away from it, leaving her in a situation of relative isolation. This is very typical of siblings who have been jealous, especially in the case of girls and teenagers, while boys are more prone to direct assault.

    4. Attempts to get parents’ attention

    This symptom appears more clearly in children who have not yet reached puberty. in adolescents, it usually happens less frequently and more subtlySince, at this stage, young people have a relatively self-sufficient model of the ideal self and do not need the opinions of parents.

    For example, what in childhood may consist in constantly wanting to show drawings and crafts made by the little one, in adolescence becomes singing in the dining room where everyone pretends to practice only, or start to debate on subjects which do not interest him. who know a minimum of information.

    However, this signal is less obvious than the previous ones, and must be analyzed in context to know if it really appears out of jealousy.

      Tips to prevent or solve the problem

      Among the measures to be taken to fight against jealousy between brothers, the following stand out.

      1. Take your time

      Much of the jealousy arises in the face of the fear of being forgotten, put aside by the family. Therefore, it is important to give a clear message that the existence of siblings does not mean that their value decreases, and since nothing speaks as much as deeds, it is best to exercise this affection through shared moments on a daily basis.

      2. If a sibling is born, plan for the transition

      In cases where a baby is going to be born, it is good to prevent problems by explaining that due to the special needs of this person who will be born, there were more people waiting for a long time. To help you with this task, it may be helpful to use photos or videos in which you can see what the baby we were leading was like, so that you can see how they treated him.

      3. Allow yourself to explain how you are feeling

      It should not be all about giving messages unilaterally. Let him express himself, to tell you their fears or possible reasons for the discomfort. Support is felt both by sharing the good times and being here as support in the bad.

      4. Give the sibling a parenting role

      If the person you might be jealous of is younger or of the same age, it is good to entrust him with the task of helping to raise. In this way, another meaning is given to those attentions that the other receives, and it becomes part of a stimulating mission in which, in addition, the little one who previously felt jealous shares roles with the adults (this yes, in a much more limited than these, and adapted to their physical and psychological characteristics).

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