The anxieties of wanting to allow children to benefit as much as possible from this stage of life this can lead to overprotection of the child with surprising ease.
What at first may seem like simple help and emotional support can sometimes amplify and flood almost every area of a child’s life, leading them to they cannot develop the personal skills necessary to gain autonomy step by step.
And it is that if overprotection is so harmful, it is partly because it is not always easy to differentiate it from the natural kindness that adults show towards young people. That is why it is very important to recognize the signs that a child is deprived of the opportunity to develop psychologically properly through basic learning.
Educational failures and overprotection of children
Below you can see many common mistakes behind the appearance of spoiled and overprotected girls and boys.
1. Suppose education is a school thing
Some parents think that the only challenges the little ones at home have to face are those at school. In other words, the only place they should strive to do things is within the school walls, and that apart from this, parents or guardians should offer all possible facilities such as “compensation”.
But it doesn’t work that way; major intellectual and emotional skills are learned outside of school, which means striving to progress after school hours are over.
2. Avoid conflicts of all kinds
Some parents and teachers prefer to avoid problems by giving up the possibility of negotiating with children in the event of a conflict of interest. The idea behind this strategy is that the boy or the girl himself he will already spontaneously realize that he acted capriciously.
The results of this, of course, are not as positive as one might expect from this logic. In fact, such a naive strategy translates into something very simple: the little ones always get away with it … except in the short term, because always doing what you want is the shortest path to overprotection. and lack of autonomy.
3. The belief that frustration is bad
The sight of a child who is not feeling well or has some degree of frustration can become almost unbearable for some adults, who will quickly offer their help and protection.
However, it should losing the fear of the possibility that a person going through childhood will experience frustration, If it appears on time.
Frustration is something that little ones need to be able to anticipate and learn to deal with, because otherwise, when no one can help them, everything will turn into a ball and they will have to try to learn at full speed. What to do, without previous experience in the matter.
4. Blindly trust proxy learning
Some parents and educators find that just solving a problem in front of them allows them to learn the lesson and be able to repeat that strategy in the future.
It is true that learning through what we see others doing or by proxy (Concept developed by psychologist Albert Bandura), is one of the mechanisms by which we adapt to the challenges posed by life, both in childhood and in other stages of life. However, in itself, this is not enough and it cannot be the only mode of learning.
In order to master a competition well, it is necessary to participate in the problems in which it must be applied. Anyone who has tried to teach someone computer science knows that taking control of the mouse and showing it the sequence of clicks it takes to perform an operation means immediate forgetting on the part of the poor learner if not. not familiar with the program.
5. The fundamental error of priorities
Another common mistake that produces small overprotections is to assume that the goal of education is to please the child, to establish a strong emotional bond.
This emotional bond is very important, but it is not in itself the aim of the teaching. For that, it is detrimental to reward lack of initiative and inaction, And there is a need to pose reasonable and acceptable challenges that the little ones can overcome. It will not only make them learn but also make them feel good about feeling a sense of conquest whenever something goes well for them and of course it will be good for their self esteem.
6. The care competition
To educate, we need to examine ourselves and think about the reasons why we treat little ones the way we do.
And, as part of this task of analyzing one’s own motivations, it is essential that we stop and consider whether we are pampering a child too much simply because of the social image produced by educating someone who is always with all his needs covered (not necessarily happy).
Especially in the case of parents, this competition of care which leads to comparing the treatment offered to their own children with whom friends and neighbors seek theirs can be a very great temptation to avoid; after all, each person has an unreliable and unrealistic picture of how they are educated in other people’s homes.