The teenager, a little tyrant? A lot of parents sometimes ask themselves this question, simply because of the way they experience their relationship with their children.
We all know, because we have also experienced it in our flesh, that adolescence is a particularly difficult time for boys and girls who go through it.
If you think about it, it has two sides: one way of living it is that of the young person who goes through it, with all the physical, mental and emotional changes that this stage of his life goes through; but on the other hand, it is also the case of their parents who, although they are aware of it, are sometimes forced to ask for help to learn how to manage in the most appropriate way these changes in their children. .
And sometimes one of those factors that adults resist is the tyranny of young people.
The teenager thinks he can even if he is the center of the universe
This has happened to us too, but when you live as a parent it’s something very different, and we must live it with care so that this situation does not lead to problematic behaviors for our children like dependencies, for example.
The point is, one of those behaviors that adults need to know how to handle and live with is the feeling that boys can do whatever they want, that nothing more than their willpower matters.
During adolescence the feeling that nothing can with the young man and that the world is at his feet is very common, And therefore, their behavior denotes that their actions are of no consequence to them, when we are all well aware that this is not the case in reality.
It is the vigor of young people that makes them see life this way, regardless of the rules and risks that surround them, and this can lead to behaviors that can be very harmful to them.
Is the teenager a tyrant?
Well, his attitude may imply that so, as long as the teenager not only feels comfortable, but thinks that nothing is right with him, that he is indestructible, it may happen that he thinks that he is more than the others, that he has more rights. This can cause you to start treating others as your inferiors, which can lead to these behaviors. But this can also happen when you are in pain.
For this reason, it’s common for young people to start taking despotic positions, giving orders to their parents, or even being particularly violent when they don’t get what they want. Many times anger is one of their usual tools to try to intimidate anyone around them.
The point of all this is that while we don’t like to see it, teenage tyranny is a very common thing that many families often suffer from. Maybe now is the time to think about why this is happening, Why does this happen in some young people but not in others? Let’s take a closer look at this topic.
Almost everything has to do with the learning you have been exposed to
Everyone learns since we were little and throughout our life we never stop learning. The question is what is learned in childhood, This period when we are like little sponges that absorb everything.
The methods in which aggression or blackmail are the tool imply that this learning has not been appropriate. It is more than possible that it was the parents themselves who caused the problem. make children understand that just to exist, they are the center of the world and that they deserve everything.
Obviously, as parents we want our children to lack nothing, but if we approach it the wrong way, it is quite possible that we are fostering this teenage tyranny.
We think of a time when this happens when the boy or the girl gets whatever he wants because he does it. Ultimately, he will come to think that he has the right to be on his own to be himself, without striving or working to achieve it. This will cause him not only to treat the people around him in a despotic way, but to the whole world, known and unknown. I if they get what they want, they will react with anger and violence, Because we deny them what they have a right to and want.
However, the tyrannical attitude of the adolescent is not always linked to education. Sometimes young people can get to this point because they have had to go through difficult situations.
It is common, for example, to find cases in which, as a result of a divorce, the child began to behave in this way. The reason is to blame one of the two and start abusing that person to punish them and show them their anger.
Are there any consequences in all of this?
Of course there are. A boy or a girl who believes that everything is his, who has the right (more right) than the others to whatever he wants, will come across a painful truth: this is not the case.
Seeing he can’t get what he wants this will start to frustrate you, causing you problems in all areas of your life. It is for this reason that we must act as quickly as possible.
What to do then?
The most effective is to educate. In this process, it will be necessary to set limits, What our children will not like, but it is necessary to do it to encourage the appropriate behaviors.
A key message to send to young people is that anything you want is impossible, and to achieve things, you have to work hard.
Of course, it is also fundamental to teach young people that with aggression and violence they will achieve nothing, and to reduce these behaviors in a radical way, instead encouraging respect, effort and work. Only then will they understand what reality is and be ready to step out into the world to experience it.