The education of children in the family: 7 key ideas

Educating children during their childhood is always a bit complex; there’s a lot to keep in mind, and it’s clear babies don’t come with an instruction manual.

In fact, there are various behavior and thought patterns in boys and girls that are unique to this age group. Therefore, unless we try to understand them, their education is very complicated.

    7 tips for educating children in the family context

    As a parent and as a clinical psychologist with over 25 years of experience, I have come to find that in many families the same mistakes tend to be repeated over and over again in terms of the education of young children in a family environment.

    In fact, this led me to write the book Guide for Parents in Difficulty, in which I explain in a simple way various tips and recommendations regarding the upbringing and upbringing of little ones at home, as well as various guidelines for take care of yourself as a parent and don’t suffer from too much psychological wear and tear (or just fatigue).

    In the following lines you will find a summary of several of the main ideas contained in the book which I believe are very useful for educating children beyond school, In the family sphere.

    1. Children are not miniature adults

    One of the basic tenets of child psychology is that boys and girls are not middle-aged adults. On the contrary, they have their own way of interpreting reality and relating to the environment; a psychological system present in childhood which, if it has its faults, does not need to be constantly “filled” with information in order to mature earlier.

    That is why it does not make sense to put pressure on children to learn as quickly as possible. A lot of the things that we try to forcefully teach them will not be understood the way we want them to be understood, and we will probably only make them feel rejected by most of the educational initiatives that they will face. . years.

    In addition, children’s learning often occurs in situations that, from our adult perspective, we might come to perceive as a ‘waste of time’: play, dialogue with friends, Etc. If they are curious and inclined to explore from their first months of life, it is for something.

      2. Punishment does not amount to physical suffering

      Unfortunately, there is still a tendency to associate punishment with physical aggression, the habit of hurting a child who has behaved badly. This fact, for some families, the “common sense” idea that inappropriate acts should be punished becomes the normalization of violence against children, something which is totally harmful and not only generates suffering, this can greatly worsen the education these little ones receive.

      But in addition, this belief has another opposite effect; leads some families to assume that, for example, denying a child the opportunity to go out and play for several hours is more or less like hitting him. The trivialization of physical violence thus works in several directions.: On the one hand, it normalizes it and, on the other hand, it stigmatizes the legitimate use of non-physical methods of punishment which may be effective in certain contexts.

      3. Growing up is not inherently painful

      It is true that during childhood, boys and girls quickly burn through the stages of their development, from one year to the next, and this can pose many challenges and put them under pressure at certain stages of life. (especially as they progress towards puberty). ).

      However, there is no stage in life that is inherently painful, or that is “very hard” that requires them to be interrupted in suffering. If a boy or girl shows obvious signs of having a bad timeThis does not mean that you learn to take on challenges or take care of yourself in the face of the demands of life. You may be suffering from childhood depression or any other psychological disorder that childhood is not without, and it is important to see a professional.

      4. The educational power of friends must be valued

      As parents, we have a lot of information and experience about how the world works, and it is clear that this is very useful for our children.

      However, when it comes to non-formal education (i.e. that which occurs spontaneously outside the classroom), much of the content they will learn and the roles they will learn. trying to imitate our children, they are not in us, but in boys and girls their age. Especially when they get older and go through puberty, young people of his age or slightly older become his benchmark, What our children focus on the most.

      This must be taken into account in order to assume our humble role in his education, on the one hand, and not to be unjustifiably blamed if, for some reason, he learns problematic behaviors with which he has not entered. in contact than outside the home. .

      5. Lead by example

      As we have seen so far, spontaneous learning that takes place during leisure time is a very important part of the education of children during their childhood. For that, as parents, we must set an example of the values ​​we take to pass on to them. For them, anything that seems to be limited only to the world of theory is of little interest.

      6. Reproaches are a challenge, but they must be confronted with stoicism

      Scolds and reprimands are never a pleasant thing, and if repeated a lot, they can overload us and have a significant impact on our stress levels. However, this discomfort should not justify behaving the same way, using these moments to let off steam and yell at our son or daughter. One bad deed does not negate another bad deedAnd beyond a purely moral analysis, it’s also not something that will improve your behavior.

      7. Clear guidelines must be given

      One of the aspects that best defines the success of early childhood education during parenting is the ability to stay consistent with the rules of behavior that we propose. Therefore, care should be taken when considering the consequences of these rules once they have been explained to the little ones in the house. Will we be able to implement it? Will we be able to meet them ourselves?

      Anything that makes us change the rules on the fly, improvise based on what’s going on, undermines the habit of following certain rules. There is always room for adjustments and corrections over time, but they should be the exception, not the norm.

      Would you like to know more?

      If you are interested in learning more about the upbringing and upbringing of children in the family, you can check out my book Guide for Parents in Difficulty, or contact me to assist with in-person or online counseling.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Butterworth, G .; Harris, M. (1994). Principles of developmental psychology. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
      • Cromdal, J. (2009). Childhood and Social Interaction in Daily Life: Introduction to the Special Issue. Journal of Pragmatics. 41 (8): 1473 – 1476.
      • Figuereido, SM, de Abreu, LC, Rolim, ML and Celestino, FT (2013). Childhood depression: a systematic review. Neuropsychiatric disease and treatment, 9, 1417-1425.

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