What we tell our sons and daughters is important, but the facts are much more so.
This is so for several reasons, but the main one is that boys and girls have poor language and understand less well through words. The natural way to learn is through the experiences they have every day.
In this sense, we will review here several parenting advice to encourage the self-esteem of the little ones in the house to increase.
Tips for increasing our children’s self-esteem at home
There are many things we can do during the day that increase the self-esteem and confidence of our sons and daughters, such as the following.
1. Talk to them in a gentle and respectful tone
Boys and girls, like adults, don’t like people who speak badly about them. We must try to speak to them nicely. They are more sensitive to screaming.
2. Awaken them with affection
Sometimes due to the daily hustle and bustle, we wake them up suddenly, quickly and quite stressed. It’s important to spend time waking them up with a good morning kiss. At the end this alarm clock is the first thing they perceive from us during the day.
3. We don’t ask them to do everything right or to perfection
If we correct them, we often make them feel over-demanded and low in self-esteem.
4. Talk to them about how our day went.
Share our day so that they want to share theirs. Sometimes we ask them questions about their day instead of sharing ours and expect them to want to share what happened to them.
5. Listen to them with our full attention and without distractions
It is essential to make them understand that they and the things they share with us are very important.
6. Validate feelings without judging or questioning
We are often told “I don’t like it”, “I don’t want to do that” and we generally answer “yes you like it but now you don’t like it” (for example).
Validating is not doing what they say, but showing empathy, respecting. “I know you don’t like it, but …” “I understand you want to do X, but …”
7. Smiles and physical contact
Sometimes, again due to the daily rush and our own problems, we dive into a routine where everything short, in a hurry and long faces. Giving them a smile, going slower, and giving them a hug sends them the message that we love and accept them. And it also gives us a respite, a break, a “stop to reflect and value”.
8. Take care of your business
Maybe the characters from their favorite cartoons aren’t something we really want to know, but to them it’s their business and they are important. It is essential to connect with your inner world and with them.
It’s a way to spend time with them and over time these game memories will be a gift for both of you.
10. Correct them with respect
With affection, without threats, without punishment. This way they will feel like a safe place and identify mistakes as learning opportunities and not as failures or situations that must be hidden in order not to be punished. We want them to be able to talk to us when they have a problem, not let us know for fear of telling them.
11. Dinner and lunch together as long as our schedules allow.
Maybe in most homes it’s easier to match dinner. Now is the time for everyone to share how our day went.
Also on the table is an appropriate place to set rules (we sit down, respect the speaking turn…). Boys and girls who learn to follow the rules feel more confident.
12. Go with them before going to bed
That moment before going to bed, where we’re next to them in the bedroom, reading a story to them or chatting about the day and ending with a good night kiss. it’s a way to make them feel safe.
There are lots of other things we can do to boost our self-esteem on a daily basis. There might be one last thing that, while we take it for granted, the message doesn’t always reach them and they need to know. I mean, I love you, I really like the way you are. I am very proud of you.