Why emotional intelligence is important in parenting

Raising children is a process that goes far beyond giving them information about what the world around them looks like and how it works; if it were limited to that, the little ones would have a too static vision of reality, as if it existed in a photograph. In practice, it would be very difficult for them to develop healthy physically and emotionally.

Therefore, in addition to the above, raising the little ones in the house also includes aspects such as how appropriate it is to relate to their surroundings, to others and to oneself. And faced with this task, it is essential to develop what in psychology is called emotional intelligence.

With that in mind, in the following lines we will see in more detail what they are reasons why emotional intelligence is important in parenting, Especially in childhood and adolescence.

    Why is emotional intelligence a basic ingredient in parenting?

    These are the different aspects in which it is noted whether or not to take into account emotional intelligence when raising our sons and daughters.

    1. It helps them deal with painful emotions

    Emotional intelligence means that, regardless of our age, we are able to deal with emotions so that they do not lead us to develop dysfunctional behaviors, which work against us. In the case of children, this is very important, because no matter how hard their parents or guardians try to protect them, the simple fact of living will expose them to embarrassing, unpleasant or sad situations.

    One of the most emotionally painful experiences children will have is frustration: Because they still don’t quite understand how the world works, they often encounter disappointments or unexpected setbacks. Emotional intelligence makes it easier for these experiences to be part of what will help them correct their mistakes in the future, rather than using that resentment to continue to reproduce inappropriate behavior.

    2. It allows them to connect with others

    Emotional intelligence helps us better understand the emotional states and motivations of the people we interact with at all ages. Therefore, parents who promote the development of emotional intelligence while raising their children will help generate stable circles of friends, in which communication problems, conflicts and discontent do not arise over and over again.

      3. It is useful to see the long-term incentives

      In their early years of life, boys and girls tend to behave guided by short-term promptings because this is the world they understand: the world of sensations and stimuli that arise in the here and now. . The ability to develop sensitivity to medium and long term incentives will emerge as they grow, and is one of the most important aspects of psychological maturation.

      Emotional intelligence goes hand in hand with this ability to connect emotionally with the goals you will achieve after a few weeks, months, or years. It also includes good behavior to help ensure that the social environment in which children live is functioning well. In the case of children with poor emotional intelligence for their age, the motivations they obey are still limited to the rewards the present can offer them, making them very difficult to organize and follow through on plans.

      4. It helps them achieve their goals

      Another important aspect of emotional intelligence is that it allows us to anticipate the emotional consequences that taking certain actions or changing the environment in a certain way will have on us. For example, this is what is behind many people who manage to make a habit of studying to do so away from distractions such as TV, cell phone, etc.

      Therefore, incorporating emotional intelligence exercises into parenting helps children understand that often they don’t have to wait for the right emotion to spontaneously emerge from themBut they themselves can induce certain psychological states that help them perform tasks.

      Are you looking to foster the emotional intelligence of your children?

      If you would like to receive psychological assistance to help your child, whether through therapy for children and adolescents or through counseling services for parents, please contact us. Fr PSiCOBAi we take care of people of all ages in individual sessions as well as in family and couple therapy. You can currently count on us both at our center in Majadahonda and through online therapy. On this page you will find more information about our way of working, as well as the contact details of PSiCOBAi.

      Bibliographical references:

      • Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. Barcelona: Cairo.
      • Lantieri, L. and Goleman, D. (2008), Building Emotional Intelligence: Techniques for Cultivating Inner Strength in Children. Scotts Valley: CreateSpace.
      • Renom, A. (2003). Emotional education. Program for primary education (6 – 12 years). Alphen aan den Rijn: Wolfers Kluwer.
      • Salovey, Peter; Mayer, John; Caruso, David (2004). Emotional intelligence: theory, findings and implications. Psychological research, p. 197 – 215.
      • Vallès, A., and Vallès, C. (2000): Emotional intelligence: educational applications. Madrid, EOS Editorial.

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