Abuse in the couple: causes, effects and keys to understanding this phenomenon

Human beings are relational beingsIn other words, we can only understand ourselves in relation to others, and the main place where we learn to do this is in the family. Statistics indicate that around 30-40% of families suffer from some form of domestic or spousal violence. Abuse in a relationship affects more women, but men can also be victims.

When a person is a victim of domestic violence, a distinction must be made between psychological violence and physical violence.

Physical violence and psychological violence

the psychological abuse it is based on intentional behaviors, executed from a position of power and aimed at devaluing, producing psychic damage, destroying self-esteem and reducing self-confidence. Their suffering leads to depersonalization, while generating dependence on the person who inflicts them. The abuser resorts to insults, accusations, threats, destructive criticism, yelling, manipulation, silence, indifference and contempt.

The physical, in addition to all of the above, is done by sticking and causing any kind of physical pain, whether with the hands or other objects, and can lead to the death of the attacked person.

Abuse is a process that usually lasts for many years, it starts from a situation of control and devaluation of the husband towards his wife or vice versa, And in which, among other things, he prevents his partner from developing social activities such as going out with friends or visiting family.

Most abusers do not use violence outside the family

At first, domestic violence was thought to involve irrational and impulsive acts, in which the abuser did not understand the consequences of their actions. The reality is that it is not about losing control of yourself, but about taking control of the couple and / or the children.

Most offenders do not use violence against others outside the family, nor are they at risk of being assaulted in situations where they expect negative consequences for themselves. Another widely held belief is that domestic violence is limited to the poorest and least educated sectors, but in reality it is not a phenomenon exclusive to poor sectors, and as you move up the social ladder, there are more resources to hide this situation.

When it comes to alcohol consumption, the reality is that it is a risk factor but it has been observed that it is not the direct cause of the abuse. Many alcoholics are not violent at home.

Why are there women who experience abuse?

In most of the cases the abused woman maintains the bond with her abuser to find her financially and emotionally dependent, And by ignorance of their rights. Fear of a fatal outcome also prevents many women from turning to social services for appropriate help.

To prevent gender-based violence, attitudes must be changed through co-education, education for equal rights from childhood and adolescence, and adult re-education. Coexistence presupposes the free choice and non-ownership of people.

Men can also be abused

Domestic violence is immediately associated with the battered woman. But, to a lesser extent, men can also be victims of partner violence.

Most cases of gender-based violence suffered by men are due to psychological abuse. Men usually don’t report for a variety of reasons: lack of legal support and resources for the abused man, credibility issues, or fear of ridicule.

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