In my queries, when I notice indications that a situation may arise
psychological abuse and arousalI usually use a series of questions that I ask at home for homework.
The goal is for my patients to assess the number of items on this list completed, Only for the remaining week until the next session. They should write down on the side of each question the situations and dates when these behaviors occur in order to create a record of the dimensions of the problem.
Identify camouflaged psychological abuse
It should be noted that a high percentage of my patients, when they arrive at the third or fourth appointment, are very anxious, as they become aware of the situation of psychological violence in which they find themselves. , and lmost criteria assumed them to be “normal” problems that arise in a relationship.
This is one of the most damaging aspects of emotional abuse: because it is not physical abuse, it is harder to detect and identify as something that shouldn’t be happening in a healthy relationship. That is why it is very necessary to take some time to think about the extent to which we experience or reproduce forms of psychological violence.
The 30 signs that your partner might be abusing you psychologically
Here is a brief list of the types of behavior that are used to identify cases of psychological violence in a relationship. They are asked in the form of questions to make them more accessible and easier to relate to each other’s experiences.
Are you in control of the money you spend? Should you ask your partner for money? Are you asking permission to buy something, either for yourself or for the house?
Does that tell you how to dress? If you go somehow he doesn’t like it, he gets mad at you for it and you decide to change your clothes? Are there any pieces you don’t wear anymore because you know he doesn’t like you going like this and you’re going to have issues with that?
3. Do you get angry if you invest more time with friends or family than you think is necessary?
4. Do you have sex even if you don’t want to or get angry?
Count the times you do things you don’t like or those with whom you do not agree to avoid a discussion.
Control your mobile and yours Social networks?
Do you have to report your schedules?
8. Does it detract from your personal or professional accomplishments?
9. When you do something for your partner, does he thank you or make you feel like it is your duty?
Do you organize your free time? Do you think that in your spare time you should ask him what to invest your time in?
When you have a problem, narrow it down with comments like: it’s nothing, do you complain about the vice, etc.?
12. When a discussion has taken place, do you give in most of the time even if you are right because you could go days without talking to yourself and empty yourself?
13. If you have a problem that is beyond the couple’s reach,
it makes you feel responsible?
14. Do you feel like you wouldn’t know how to move on if you weren’t by his side?
15. Do you feel guilty when you get sick?
16. If you are in public,
Are you afraid to say what you think in case it affects your partner?
17. Do you often use emotional blackmail to achieve your goals?
18. Do you remember the mistakes you made once and a thousand times?
19. Have you stopped counting your partner’s problems around you because you know that if you find out, they will get angry?
20. Topics like saying certain things to him because you know his reaction may be disproportionate?
21. Have you noticed that when the same thing is done by another person, they value them more positively than if you are the one doing it?
22. Do you feel uncomfortable if someone of the opposite sex is looking at you in case your partner notices and could be the subject of another discussion?
23. Do you think you need their approval in anything you do, or even think about?
24. Has the way he speaks to you become an imperative?
Do you think that you cannot be yourself when you are with your partner?
26. Related to the above, do you feel that even without it, when you want to be yourself, do you think about what might be bothering you and stop doing the things you wanted to do?
He treats you like his father / mother instead of your partner?
28. Do you make important decisions without considering your opinion?
29. Does this make you doubt your abilities?
Are you scared
Consequences of psychological and emotional violence
Once the task is completed, and once in consultation, I assess with the victims
the consequences of this psychological abuse, Which are usually these:
- physical discomfort
- low self esteem
- Loss of social relationships often leading to isolation
- Feeling that we are emotionally short of gasoline
- Depressed mood
- Altered sleep patterns
- Food problems
- Dependence on different types of substances (including benzodiazepines and alcohol)
- Carelessness and recklessness in physical appearance
- Feelings of helplessness and worthlessness
- Emotional addiction
- Anger attacks directed at other people
- sexual inappetence
- Feelings of shame and guilt
- Feeling of weakness
- Difficulty making decisions
- Evasion-based coping mechanisms
- Feelings of inferiority
In turn, these effects of psychological violence cause the climate within the couple’s relationship to continue to deteriorate, with serious consequences for the victim.
Become aware of being able to abandon the dynamics of mistreatment
The first step in dealing with emotional abuse is knowing how to identify its signs.Something difficult as they are dynamic does not happen overnight and are subtle signals that we hardly notice.
The intention of this article is to be able to become aware of it, and if one feels identified
to be able to break with the emotional dependence it generates in us. The first step is to be able to identify the existence of psychological violence to take the idea that very drastic changes must take place.
You might be interested in: “The Causes and Effects of Gender-Based Violence”