The latest statistics show that in our society, One in six couples who decide to have a child cannot conceive. These are very high numbers that can be directly linked to our way of life.
That is, while there are “physical” causes (such as blocked fallopian tubes, hormonal disorders, or low sperm count), there are also causes that we might consider ” social”: the age at which we begin to seek pregnancy (consider that from the age of 35 the eggs begin to be of poor quality), inadequate nutrition (there are studies that indicate that poor nutrition generates lower ovarian reserve in female offspring…and we have worsened our diet) and, above all, stress.
Stress directly affects a woman’s fertilityaffecting their menstrual cycle and causing ovulation inhibition, and also directly affects human fertility, significantly decreasing sperm production.
Stress, cause and consequence of infertility
At the physiological level, our body understands stress as a dangerous situation and naturally tends to protect itself.
It secretes hormones such as adrenaline, to increase heart rate and blood pressure and provide enough energy to all parts of the body, and also secretes cortisol, hormones responsible for suppressing all functions that do not are not directly related to the escape of the detected danger. And the function of conceiving is one of those “useless” functions in times of stress.
Cortisol will raise blood glucose levels and the use of glucose by the brain will essentially suspend the functions of digestion and reproduction.
We know it: stress is the cause of many diseases in our society and can cause physical, emotional and psychological problems. And sustained stress over time, i.e. chronic stress, is really dangerous in many ways.
If we analyze the relationship between stress and fertility, we will enter a closed circle that is difficult to break.. It’s a tail-biting fish: chronic stress can cause infertility, and infertility can cause stress and serious emotional turmoil.
Several studies warn against the situation and show that a high proportion of women with fertility problems suffer from anxiety, depression or both disorders. The statistics range from 40% to 80% depending on the country, but in any case these are very high figures. Many women who choose to undergo assisted reproduction treatment already make this decision in a state of depression and anxiety.; moreover, their psychological situation often worsens during the treatment, which, in turn, decreases the chances of its success.
The causes of these anxiety-provoking images are found in social pressure to have children, feelings of frustration at not being able to have them when you want, feelings of fear and loss of control of the situation.
Mindfulness to regulate emotions and experience fertility from another place
Mindfulness (or we can also speak of mindfulness meditation) is a practice that is based on consciously paying attention to present moment experience with interest and acceptance.
It may not be easy, it takes practice and perseverance, and it doesn’t happen overnight…but when you gain the power to choose a mental state, when with conscious awareness you manage to feel the “now” by avoiding negative thoughts, it becomes a powerful agent of change. Besides, pregnancy is just a nice side effect of this healing commitment.
Mindfulness-based techniques are already being used to help couples with fertility issues. And the results are very good: a reduction in stress is achieved and this reduces the number of treatment cycles needed to achieve pregnancy.
Mindfulness helps us feel more connected to ourselves and more fertile in every way; it helps to deal with an assisted reproduction process, the different cycles, the losses, the so-called “beta wait”, which is the time during which the results are expected, the decision-making or the medical tests.
Motherhood begins when you decide to become a mother
This idea is key: motherhood begins when we decide to become mothers, not when pregnancy occurs. And it is essential to connect to this idea, both individually and, if necessary, as a couple.
A good accompaniment to a search for a child based on mindfulness techniques will offer the following learning.
1. Learn to detect stress factors and possible unconscious blockages
Recognizing the problem is the first step to solving it. It’s always like that. This is why it is so important knowing how to detect those past events that impacted your life because they were not worked through and healed.
One possible technique to detect these stressors is to construct a lifeline. In other words, take the time to sort through your life experiences so that you can detect any emotional charges that may cause physical blockages that affect our ability to conceive.
That said, it seems like an easy task. But how many people have never stopped thinking about their life and have limited themselves to living it and submitting to it!
2. Learn to regulate your emotions
Regulating emotions is nothing more than learning to manage them without getting carried away by them.. Again easy to say but hard to do.
Our mind is like thoughts: to know our mind, we have to be very aware of everything we are thinking at every moment. But often that’s going to be impossible because the amount of thoughts going through our minds every moment is too overwhelming. The solution will then be analyze the results that generate our thoughts. Seeing these results will make it easier to free yourself from thoughts that do not create harmony.
3. Learn to be a fertile couple in every way
Our body is wise and naturally encourages us to have sex when it is most fertile. That’s why we have to learn to listen to it and seek out the baby we want from the connection. To devote time, to prioritize, to be pampered, to have fun.
When a couple connects, oxytocin is released. And oxytocin stimulates the uterus, producing a contraction there which, in turn, will produce more oxytocin. And it’s scientifically proven that one practice that can make conception easier is cervical orgasm. During this orgasm it is possible to feel the cervix opening and closing or sucking as it contracts during the orgasmic release.
Getting that connection is like boiling water: it needs its boiling time. That is to say, the couple must start from the relaxation and cause the adequate stimulation.
4. Learn to nurture the relationship with the family of origin
Our family system inevitably has a great influence on us. We all subconsciously repeat family patterns which, if you want to have children, can make the process difficult. without us realizing it.
Any unspoken pain, any unworked grief, anything that you cannot express in words is somatizing or repeating a pattern. Thanks to mindfulness meditation techniques, we will be able to distinguish the emotions felt by our ancestors in certain situations and will allow us to understand how we react to the situations we experience.
5. Learn to manage your own fertility
The preconception stage is as or more important than the pregnancy itself. Preparing for motherhood requires time, personal care, introspection and self-prioritization.
The woman must know her own body in detail and detect her fertile moments, know her menstrual cycle deeply. You will have to regain control over your body, observe what affects you and why, and be convinced that it is solely responsible for your body and your health.
6. Prioritize and take care of yourself
You are the most important person in your life prioritize and say no to anything that doesn’t really add to your life.
A healthy diet promotes hormonal and reproductive health. This is why it is essential to consume fresh, natural and whole foods; organic seasonal vegetables and fruits, avoid processing, etc. And that for both women and men.
And not only that. Fertility is a state of the person and therefore it will be necessary to unite the body and the spirit. We will achieve this by practicing “fertility yoga”; that is, a type of yoga that focuses on the endocrine system and the reproductive system to improve fertility, while strengthening the muscle areas related to conception and preparing the woman for pregnancy, you find in the Mindfulwomen’s Mindful Fertility program.
In “Conscious fertility: psycho-emotional program for fertility“You will find a set of practices based on consciousness, somatic psychology and neuroscience, a method to promote conscious fertility.