Meditation is a great ally which helps us achieve a good relationship with our egoic part.
In this sense, the ego is a mental structure created primarily to ensure our survival. It is a fake personality that appears subtly, and in most situations it is difficult to detect its appearance.
Meditation and relationship with our “I”
When we were little we learned that in order to receive love we had to be or act in a concrete way. For example, we may have encountered situations in which we have been told; “If you don’t finish everything on the plate, your mom won’t love you.” Words are powerful, and even though those close to us may use such expressions to encourage our growth, they can wreak havoc in our adult lives.
In the example above, we can see how maternal love, which should be unconditional, is conditioned by a behavior that the child has to do. It is likely that in adulthood we show altered behaviors in relation to food and that we repeat this pattern. For example, we can observe the consequences when the adult compulsively eats without leaving a single crumb on the plate to feel worthy of love.
This situation is just one example of the consequences of believing that we are not worthy of love for the simple fact of being. There are other cases where the child has learned that in order to get his father’s approval he had to be an excellent student, and when he reaches adulthood he can be conditioned to some extent. by the learning he did.
These situations are a generator of stress for the person and a fertile ground for frustrating situations to be created for the individual, because he will surely do certain actions which are conditioned by the fear of not receiving the love he thinks he deserves.
Another situation that usually occurs is forcing the child to be affectionate. For example, suppose a family member visits the child’s home and the mother says, “Kiss your grandmother. Maybe you don’t want her? “
By observing the message which hides this sentence, which at first glance seems completely harmless, one realizes that the mother conditions the way in which the child must show love.
Probably, when the child reaches adulthood, he will satisfy his partner with kisses to show affection even when he does not really want to.
There are no good or bad behaviors, but stimulating or limiting behaviors
Suppose one of these situations has negative consequences for us; in that case, detecting what was the pattern we learned as children to receive love can be very helpful to modify these limiting behaviors.
The real personality is camouflaged by this character that we have created and that we obviously need to be able to live together in society. The key is to find the balance between the mask we use to be able to socialize and our true essence.
There are people who can get caught up in ego strategies, causing great suffering in their life. Sometimes we can find ourselves acting inconsistently and it shows an internal struggle between what we think we should be and what we really consider to be.
Obviously, we should not try to destroy the egoic figure, but to detect how it works to prevent it from taking control of our lives, because really the ego is not negative, but seems to ensure our evolution.
The body retains the same intelligence as the mind, but we tend to identify more with the world of ideas; however, our beliefs do not define us or the life experience we are having at this time.
By identifying too much with the environment or the thoughts we have, we will reduce the meaning of our existence. We anticipate what might happen in the future to try to prevent any threatening situation and this can lead to discomfort related to disconnecting from our present.
The key is to realize when these thoughts are negatively impacting us and to increase our level of awareness so that we can come back to the present moment when we want to.
Becoming aware of our whole being requires taking into account the three fundamental pillars that make it up: the mind, emotions and bodily sensations. While the mind is important, our ideas are no more relevant than the sensory world.
The role of meditation
To live fully and connected to the present, we have to start listening to ourselves at the body level. At first, it is normal for thoughts to divert our attention preventing us from having a deeper connection with our being. I suggest you do this practice which I will outline below so that you can experience what I am explaining.
Find a place where you can sit down to start the next meditation. Take a few deep breaths from your stomach, and when you feel ready, begin to achieve your body position. You don’t need to change its status, just pay attention to the sensations that appear.
Observe if there is tension in any part of your body and also feel your body temperature. Now the thoughts become clouds which pass in front of you, and you will observe them without giving them importance. Whenever a thought escapes you, it draws your attention back to a part of your body.
You can help yourself by moving a limb or sliding a hand along your face to distract your mind and bring attention back to your body.
Take a few minutes to do a head-to-toe scan and close your eyes to help connect with your body.
What sensations did you feel?
This meditation can help you find the balance between the three parts that make up your being; the emotional, sensory and mental part.