To accept things as they are is not to sit idly by and watch life go by as if there is nothing we can do.
For Jon Kabat-Zinn, creator of one of the most influential techniques both mentally and physically, based on Buddhism and called Mindfulness, acceptance is; “… see things as they are in the present moment.”
On the other hand, of the Stoic philosophical current that emerged in Greece centuries ago, Epictetus has already stressed that “the sage is one who willingly accepts all the circumstances of life without resenting others”.
like that, acceptance would not mean that the person moves away from the world and reality, but on the contrary. Rather, practicing acceptance would involve preparing mentally to be able to act for what we consider to be valuable, natural, and good both physically and mentally despite the circumstances.
Acceptance is not resignation
Resignation violates Stoic principles, Because with it, we block ourselves and we accept the fact of doing nothing. And to accept is not to do nothing.
In addition, when we resign ourselves to the facts of everyday life, we practically give it control over our mood and the actions that come with it, to something external to us.
As we fall prey to resignation and victimization, suffering increases and our tolerance for frustration decreases., Making it difficult to relate to reality in a way that we feel that what is strictly ours, we control or bring into play.
In other words, if we blame our brother for our discontent, because it bothers him to comment in front of the family about our physical condition, it is more difficult for us to do anything to change the way we relate to it. It is more difficult because we feel that nothing can be done to resolve this difficulty, and that after a few attempts things remain more or less the same.
Instead, if we accept the thoughts and emotions that come from deep within us, the fact of accepting us already gives in itself a disposition from which to undertake a valuable action for us.
A vital attitude that prepares us for change
Getting back to the physical state, imagine that you don’t like the image you have of yourself. Imagine that you do not like your body and it is something that has been generating discontent and worry for months., Even years.
Now let’s say you have decided to work out and put in place the right ways to change your physique and after two weeks of hard training you are frustrated because you are not seeing the results you expected or expected. you were fixed. You started out motivated, you sketched out the plan, you adapted to it with great discipline, but no matter what, you didn’t lose two kilos, you lost half a kilo.
This is the reason why you decide to take a sabbatical week, because in total, if all the effort that went into it only resulted in this, what else.
Focus on the control, not the outcome
Not accepting that things don’t go as planned, it doesn’t imply that’s why we have to stop doing them. Accepting that we have struggled and that we have not achieved the desired results prepares us to persevere, that is to say; Act.
On the other hand, if our reaction to the results is based on resignation, with thoughts like “it doesn’t matter what I do because at most I lose half a kilo in two weeks”, we allow ourselves to lose control of something. that we can really control. I what we could control in this situation is persistence, discipline and commitment. But if we look at it from the point of resignation, it will seem very difficult for our mind to act to feel better, to lose weight, or to improve in any other way.
Which leads us to learn to accept things
In short, accepting implies accepting reality as it is. I one of the things we learn from reality is that nothing stays forever, Neither what we hate nor what we love.
Accepting facts without horrifying or losing roles for them gives us the ability to respond better to a situation than when we get carried away by what our impressions and thoughts remind us of that event.
In conclusion, and as the Stoics suggested, sometimes it can help us to be wary of our first impressions, judgments and primary emotions in the face of the events we go through every day, Since this, precisely, helps not to take a distance from situations, thus losing contact with ourselves and with what if it depends on our control, yacilitado that we are more willing to resign ourselves and not to accept things as they are.