It is normal and relatively common for people to seek to excel and improve in the way they are. However, the change sought is sometimes very deep, structural. This is the case with those who plan to change their personality completely. Is it possible to become a very different person than you have always been?
In this article, we’ll take a look at some tips and recommendations on how to change your personality by introducing different habits into your everyday life.
How to change your personality
Personality is by definition something that is maintained over time, which tends to be constant. More precisely, it is the set of psychological dispositions that guide us towards certain behavioral dynamics and not towards others, and is based on a genetic component and another learned, which arises from experience.
However, as with most psychological phenomena, personality is not an element that is imposed on us in a deterministic way, But we can influence them in surprising ways. It’s virtually impossible to give it a full spin and become something that you notice absolutely nothing that we once were, but drastic changes are possible with effort and time.
So, to change your personality, follow these tips.
1. Define your goals
The goal of “changing my personality” is too abstract, too ambiguous. If you don’t break it down into different specific goals, you will get lost in the vagueness and make no significant progress.
To do this, write down on a piece of paper the aspects of your lifestyle that you would like to change, filtering out the priorities and focusing on that. After all, it is absurd to propose to completely change in all aspects of his personality; it is necessary to point out the areas which pose problems or which are perceived as weaknesses.
2. Create a commitment
Whenever we set ourselves an ambitious goal that requires effort, it is good to make sure that we are fully committed to it. One way to do this is to talk to other people, creating expectations and having more reasons not to give up.
Generating this kind of personal obligation is very positive hitting milestones and not throwing in the towel, even though that apparently seems to limit our freedom.
3. Move away from your previous failures
On many occasions, one of the obstacles that makes it difficult for someone to change their personality for the better is the fact that they fall into the trap of believing that they will fall into the kind of failures over and over again. which he fell in the past. .
It is true that we all have weaknesses that characterize us, but that does not mean that we cannot arm ourselves against this kind of mistake. With enough effort and learning, we can develop extraordinary skills. Even if we don’t, this simple thought helps us stop being afraid of those aspects of life that were never given to us, which causes us to stop being so vulnerable.
4. Give up what they are going to say
Your changes in personal development should only concern you. Of course, people always have reasons to speak behind their backs and criticize, but precisely because of that, they shouldn’t be obsessed with what other people think; no one knows us as well as we know ourselves, and that is why the vast majority of moral appreciations and judgments we receive from others have no value.
Being aware of this, and that everyone has the same weaknesses that we ourselves are capable of hating ourselves on some occasions, already helps put things in perspective. not to feel doomed to always be the same: People around us are changing dramatically for better or for worse, and so can you. The goal is to guide this change so that it is for good.
5. Surround yourself with people who inspire you
Much of the learning happens spontaneously by simply surrounding yourself with those who give us reasons to improve and content to work on to become better.
If we avoid falling into the trap of constantly comparing ourselves to the one we consider to be the best, we will begin to absorb and adapt to our way of being those elements that we consider to be positive: Have more patience, learn to listen and put yourself in other people’s shoes, to be more creative with them so as not to dismiss the most bizarre ideas, etc.
6. Don’t assume your own identity, change what you already have
It is important not to cover ourselves with tics that define the personality of others, but to develop our own version of what we want to become. For example, if we want to work on self-esteem to rely more on our abilities, we don’t need to use another person’s expressions or body language in a forced way, but instead focus on what we usually do and make corrections.
Focusing on yourself is an essential part of changing your personality, Since you have to work with what you have; pretending to be a blank folio will only generate frustration.
7. Make small day-to-day changes
Take the time each day to focus on what you are doing and correct on the fly to achieve the desired goal. The rest of the day, don’t worry. This way, you will be doing intensive work, while you will not have to tire yourself out and you will be able to recover (which will prevent you from being too stressed out).
Step by step, repeating those times when you are striving to change will make them automated, And you will be able to gradually enlarge the temporary window dedicated to the development of an enhanced personality.
8. Call in psychologists
If necessary, psychologists can help you with psychotherapy. Professional support is usually very helpful to find new strategies to improve and detect errors that we had gone unnoticed.
- Corr, Philip J .; Matthews, Gerald (2009). The Cambridge Textbook of Personality Psychology (1st ed. Ed.). Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press.
- González, José (1987). Personality psychology. Madrid: Biblioteca Nueva.