“We are what we make of what they made of us”
-Jean paul Sartre
We cannot choose our vital circumstances, however yes we can modulate our thoughts and attitudes in front of what surrounds us. In this way, indirectly, we can shape our circumstances.
How is your personality?
There was once a farmer that he took care of a few horses to help him with agricultural tasks on his small property. One day, the foreman told him bad news: the best of his horses had fallen into a well. The farmer couldn’t believe it and rushed over to where he could see the horse at the bottom of the well. With all his might, he tried to get the horse out. Seeing that it was impossible and unable to find a solution to get the horse out of the hole, he had no choice but to ask the foreman to throw earth into the well so that the horse was buried right there.
The foreman started to throw sand. The horse, eager to continue living, he did not allow himself to be buried by the falling earth and used it to ascend, with great effort, until he finally managed to get out..
What is your attitude towards life? Do you let the earth swallow you up or do you use it to climb?
The characteristics of a strong personality
a person resistant is the one who, despite suffering problems and even troubles that could destabilize, he is able to maintain strength, resist and float.
These types of subjects are not immune to the life events we all experience, such as the death of a loved one, a break-up, a bad work situation … but they differ from others in that they are able to accept stoicism. these setbacks in life and draw strength from weakness to move forward.
What traits define a resilient personality
Suzanne C. Kobasa, Psychologist of University of Chicago, Has conducted several surveys in which he has found that people with resilient personalities have a number of characteristics in common. They are usually very engaged, controlled, and challenge-oriented people. (Kobasa, 1979).
These conditions allow them to better adapt to what life expects of them and to overcome these adversities more quickly and sustainably than others.
Resilient personality components
- The ability to engage indicates that the person believes in what they do and is committed to what matters to them. Engagement encompasses various aspects of life, such as the work environment, interpersonal relationships, responsibility for daily obligations, etc. These people not only face stressful situations in a more straightforward way, but are also more adept at helping others cope with such experiences.
- control it refers to the subject’s ability to find his intrinsic motivations. In other words, they can feel motivated by something without having to be paid directly by a third person. They have a passion for what they do. This attitude helps them feel and enjoy their time. They tend to have better control over their life and therefore know that they can deal with their problems because they are dependent on themselves.
- The challenge: people who enjoy a challenge see change as something integral to life. They understand change not as failures but as beneficial challenges for their individual development, as an opportunity to improve and continue to progress in any area of life.
Resilience: the essence of the resilient personality
Maddi and Kobasa they also found that the resilient personality type is an important factor in predicting psychological resilience. Resilience is often defined as the ability of individuals to overcome periods of emotional pain and adversity.
Recommended text: “The 10 Habits of Resilient People”
The way in which the resilient personality confers resilience appears to be a combination of cognitive elements, behavioral mechanisms, and certain biophysical behaviors. In short, it can be said that as the stressful circumstances increase, the physical and mental stress of the person also increases, and if this situation is intense and prolonged enough, then deviations in health and performance are to be expected. (Maddi, 2004).
In summary, Maddi (2006) argues that resilient personality style has a moderating effect on this process, Encourage effective mental and behavioral adjustment, develop and use social support, and participate in effective personal care and health practices.
- Maddi, SR and Kobasa, SC (1984). The resilient executive: health under stress. Homewood, IL :: Dow Jones-Irwin.
- Maddi, SR (2004). “Resistance: an operationalization of existential courage”. Journal of Humanistic Psychology 44 (3): 279-298. doi: 10.1177 / 0022167804266101.
- Maddi, SR (2006). “Resistance: the courage to grow from stress”. Journal of Positive Psychology 1 (3): 160-168. doi: 10.1080 / 17439760600619609.