Kindness and empathy are characteristics that we value positively in others, but if taken to the extreme, you can fall into an attitude of chronic submission.
And it is that the usefulness or the problematic of certain psychological characteristics also depends on what they suppose at the time of the relation with the others. Our well-being does not just emanate from us outwardly, but also has to do with the effects of our attitudes on others and how these affect us.
Psychological traits of submissive people
Below we will see what characterizes submissive people and what it means in their daily lives.
1. Conflict avoidance
Submissive people tend to avoid confrontations, no matter how small. This means that they usually make sacrifices to avoid these “conflicts of wills”, devoting time, effort and resources to making sure that others are not upset.
Sometimes these people are averse to even the idea that the other is feeling impatient or angry. This indicates that this submissive attitude does not usually respond to a desire to instrumentalize the other person (by seeking their protection or influence). but a bond of total domination, even mental, is generated.
2. A painful past
While not always given, submissive people often have a history full of abuse or bullying behind them. this past it makes you learn that others will attack at least, For any excuse, with the slightest crack of frustration or anger. In turn, this leads others to accept this dominant role given to them.
3. Discreet personality profile
Submissive people tend not to want to get a lot of attention. It is something that it’s done to avoid conflicts and humiliating moments in which any aggression initiated by others cannot receive a proportionate response.
4. Tendency to shyness
Submissive people don’t need to be introverted, but they tend to be shy. In other words, they almost obsessively think on the image they give, And what others think of them, often the result of knowing that they are submissive and therefore socially undervalued or with many chances of making a bad first impression.
This means that it will be difficult to start informal conversations with strangers, for example, and that it will sometimes be difficult for them to initiate formal dialogues with people they do not know well. Again, this is a consequence of this attempt to maintain a low profile.
5. Creation of dependency links
Submissive people they take on the role of someone in need of protection, And that is why it is common for them to establish asymmetric relationships based on dependency.
In pathological cases, such as those in which an addictive personality disorder has been diagnosed, it can reach the point where nothing is done that has nothing to do with being close to someone playing the role of ” protector ”and to whom he is accustomed to serve in all things.
6. Lack of assertiveness
Subjects speak relatively little of their own views, do not spend a lot of time giving their opinions, and they prefer to focus on what others want or need. Sometimes it is difficult to know what their motivations are because they can avoid talking about it explicitly. In general, this indicates a clear lack of assertiveness.
7. They try to please others
Another of the psychological characteristics of submissive people is that they don’t mind revealing their status as a “dominated party” in a relationship. Although they can sometimes play a passive aggressive role, they avoid disobeying orders so as not to provoke fights and arguments.
8. Contracted non-verbal language
Submissive people, trying not to attract attention, make their body as inconspicuous as possible through their postures. It is common for them to keep their eyes down, have their arms and legs move slightly outward from the vertical axis of their body, or bend their backs.
9. They say they feel bad quite often
Since there is no way to bring the opposite to anyone, the only way they have to breathe is to put their body to the end. This is why they tend to be more tired or get sick more often: they go through more times of stress and effort than most of the people around them, because they rarely make any concessions.
10. They speak little
Not only is there a tendency to contact strangers a bit; furthermore, there is a tendency to talk less, and when it is done, the conversations are usually about irrelevant topics. In this way, it is not forced that the attention is totally shifted to themselves, which would happen if, for example, childhood anecdotes were told or if one explained what life projects are. planned.
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