We all have a family member or acquaintance that we try to avoid, that no one wants to invite to birthdays, or that we tend not to answer their calls.
In this article we propose to make a classification of the psychological profiles of the people who take us out of our boxes and offer some recommendations to deal with it.
People who have a rough personality in a certain sense are usually unaware of how annoying they are to other people, and they tend to blame others for not knowing how to treat them. Some of them look like the classic “toxic friend”. This is a series of well-contoured prototypes of personalities.
1. The hostile friend
He is a rude person and often reacts badly to criticism and crime, Is very sensitive. We must try to communicate carefully with this profile of people. They tend to overreact if they feel they are being treated unfairly. If you want to keep the beast calm, you have to be careful about the words and topics you choose to communicate with this person. It is also advisable to try not to show weakness in the presence of such friends, as this attitude can encourage them to maintain attitudes of superiority.
It is best to move halfway when you are in his company, as an extreme attitude can trigger your hostility.
What if you have a friend like this?
It is helpful to try to divert the person’s attention to a specific activity or to topics of conversation that are not a cause for hostility. You can bring up some common themes or interests, thus diverting your attention from the issues that generate your anger. Being aggressive or trying to correct is not helpful, as they react even more aggressively.
If your tone of voice and sign language are calm, great. If the person wants to tell you their stories of their anger feelings, let them relax and pay attention without bothering them, and then you expose your thoughts without guilt. It is important to note that you do care about the problem, however it is essential not to feed your anger or give way to aggressive behavior.
In the event that the conversation is out of our control and the person is behaving aggressively, a good advice is to let them know that we will resume the conversation at another time, when we can keep our cool.
2. The one who complains about everything
This profile corresponds to the person who always finds the negative side of things, Who always blames others for everything that happens to him, who always believes he is right about anything that should be done or stopped being done (although they never lead by example). Sometimes these are savvy people who can be right about a lot of things, but the strategy of complaining about everything does not give them any benefit or solve any problems.
How to interact with these people?
We have to listen to them first and try to get them to make their point well to us, even if they are trying to make you feel guilty about something. It is not advisable that you apologize or agree to everything he says, or take on responsibilities that are not your concern. Don’t be defensive or try to counterattack. If you want to fix the problem without hurting yourself, it is best if you have a lot of willpower to step in and fix the problem.
Recognize when he is right and try to help him dispel any doubts about the topic, in order to close the topic and move on.
You have to be patient with him and be open to reasoning about the subject that irritates him, encourage him to talk to the people with whom he has a problem and help him get everything back to normal. If you get more people to cooperate with you in finding a resolution to the situation, the better.
- Learn more about this profile: “Chronic victimism: people complain about vice”
3. What always works for you
He always nods and gives you the reason for your opinions. Of course, when this communion of ideas involves taking action, don’t count on it. These are people who always seem in a good mood, who are very sociable, who seem to be unconditional friends, but when needed they disappear without a trace. These are subjects who seek external approval, they promise a lot more than they are then able to accomplish, but this is their way of gaining the friendship and acceptance of others. These behaviors are generally learned during childhood.
What to do in these cases?
It is very important to let these people know that we will continue to be just as friendly if they are sincere with us. You need to dig deeper into your own ideas and ask them how they agree with them or how they could improve. This way we help them express themselves on what they don’t like but don’t dare to say. We must also try to dissuade them from promising things that they cannot achieve, by making them think, without accusing them of anything, on whether they are sure they can handle it.
Let them know that you value their friendship and that they can see that you are flexible and fair to them as much as they are to you. Be patient with them and argue that you need to know their opinion and that they can help you a lot more if they are completely sincere.
4. The sabelotodo
In this profile we can find two different categories: the one who really knows everything, and the one who doesn’t have much idea about anything but claims to be very intelligent. In the second case, the strategy to follow is simply to argue and make them see their mistakes. These people often ignore their ignorance. In any case, it is advisable not to leave them in public evidence, and to offer them a way out so that they can keep their self-image. They usually only seek external approval.
In the other case, the person who really has extraordinary knowledge may tend to act with certain airs of superiority, believing himself to be superior to others and making them feel like a fool. They are very independent and reject outside help. They are also stubborn and often intolerant of the opinions of others. They have a lot of security in their personality, they don’t want to change.
How to curb the sciences?
To engage in conversations with this scientific profile, you need to be aware that they are better informed and that your knowledge gaps may stand out. You have to be careful when they speak because the truth is that a lot can be learned. The important thing is not to fall into arguments or arguments that have their basis in the desire to attack your ego or defend yours.
Forget the ego, especially with these people. If you are not very sure, it may be best not to attack your ideas head-on but to lead them down alternative paths. You should be respectful of his position but not underestimate your own.
5. The pessimist
They only realize the obstacles, complications and negative effects of things. These are people who seem to be continually angry with the world. They can become contagious to others because they are responsible for bringing to state a matter of state the little doubts that you can harbor, leading you into inaction.
What to do?
It is useless to argue with them, nor to show them the solutions to the obstacles they express. Instead of, you must use hopeful phrases that can gradually modulate your vision, Prove to them with words and facts that there are positive points that invite hope and sow useful thoughts to find solutions. Streamline your thoughts by asking them questions about the options you are considering and what would be the worst possible scenario based on the decisions.
He thus sees tools to compensate for his pessimism, and it is possible that over time he will adopt a different attitude. If you are determined to come up with an idea, they may not offer to help.
6. The gentle and indecisive
It differs from what always gives you reason in everything the software wants to help you in a real way. They are usually very thoughtful and find it difficult to make decisions out of sheer fear.. It is important to facilitate communication so that they can express their doubts. Help them examine the problem so that they can look for other avenues or get involved in projects. When making a decision, support them and appreciate their determination.
How to deal with such a person?
Ask them how they feel and genuinely care about them. These are people who often do not speak out for fear of offending or upsetting others. While this can be a great friend at first, as the friendship progresses you might find that the problem with having a friend with this profile is that he rarely expresses his opinion or takes sides for anything, And ends up making no decision.