The (subtle) difference between self-esteem and narcissism

Sometimes, you have to value life: at work, in a meeting, an interview, a conversation about which you do not understand the subject … Some would even say that it is inherent in the malicious character of the Mediterranean.

It is clear that for this we need to have a certain self-esteem, that is, self-esteem. But … where is it the line between having good self-esteem and sinning as a narcissist? Is this really the problem of our current society?

    The thin line between self-esteem and narcissism

    In short, narcissism is high self-esteem at its highest level; the excessive admiration you feel for your physical appearance, your qualities or your gifts.

    Egocentrism, related to the first (but not exactly the same), is the paranoia of the narcissist; such is the admiration you feel for yourself that you think is the center of all the attention and concern of others.

    These two psychological phenomena seem to describe what happens to many people, but for those unfamiliar with the subject it is worth pointing out the differences between narcissism and self-esteem.

    The difference between narcissism and self-esteem is that the former involves denial of the worth of others, who are reduced to mere purveyors of attention and fame. Self-esteem, on the other hand, is what makes us feel good about ourselves as integrated beings in a society filled with perfectly worthy human beings.

    But … maybe the passing of time is not turning our self-esteem into narcissism through the use of new technologies?

      The evolution of narcissism

      Adolescence is a stage of revolution, among other things, hormonal, which leads us to have ups and downs in self-esteem. Hopefully after this period we will have managed to come out of it unscathed and with a steady level of self-esteem.

      This set of perceptions, thoughts and values ​​of ourselves will undoubtedly have an impact on how we view the world around us.

      According to some theories, we build our self-esteem based on the social acceptance of our comrades. But there comes a time when someone’s ego, maybe ours, swells wildly and stands out; he loves himself too much and is superior to everything else.

      There are currently several articles who blame technologies, or rather the misuse we make of them as direct makers of narcissists, but maybe there weren’t narcissists before the internet?

      The cult of the ego

      The worship of ourselves, body or mind depending on the time, has existed since time immemorial.

      We start from the narcissistic word itself comes from the myth of Narcissus, Existing in Greek and Roman mythology. It tells the story of an attractive young man who stole every woman’s heart and who, to anger those who shouldn’t, ended up drowning in water for falling in love with his own reflection.

      The problem has therefore existed since antiquity; what has changed are the elements of the game. He gave us for the “selfies”, Get a lot of “likes”, have a lot of pictures and a lot of friends, followers … Even those of us who write on this site, don’t we like each other in proportion to the times of sharing our article?

      Probably all, one way or another, sometimes we sin by having the ego primed. However, it’s easier to see the straw in someone else’s eyes.

      In reality, the only thing we can attribute to the internet is that it made it easier for us, And more universal. Now I can brag about having a lot of friends without having to work or deal with those relationships, just in case I get liked every now and then. I can teach others, my hundreds of “friends”, how happy I am with my life, with my partner, with my job, how beautiful I am in nature (with mobile apps that correct you , increase, decrease and plug in, of course). Overall, it’s easy for me to choose what to show.

      The reality is that we live in a frantic era of capitalism and liberal economics, where we confuse happiness with consumerism, and it consumes us. Yet the possibility of crossing the line from self-esteem to egocentricity and narcissism existed before any social network. Otherwise, ask Donald Trump; it’s a good example of what it’s like to love yourself excessively.

      The neural circuits of egocentrism

      Internally, these little moments of pseudo-happiness that give us too much worship and make it known in the networks, activate the brain center of reward as well as sex, food, generosity …

      And, in the end, what gives meaning to our existence, what drives us and motivates us from the most biological and basic point of view. it’s the reward and the pleasure. How we get it will continue to vary: now it’s all the rage to put pictures and filter my pasta dish, but maybe with luck tomorrow we try the altruism and generosity as the brain’s reward mechanism.

      We need to take care of the “child” we carry inside, but that doesn’t mean piling it up in candy.

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