One of the aspects of today’s society is that we now have more ways to observe each other. The internet and social media have posted a lot of information about each person and it’s very easy to get to know bits and pieces of people we haven’t even spoken to.
Most people have learned to adapt to this change by trying to use it to their advantage: that is, seeing it as an opportunity to reach more people, expand friendships or search for employment and business opportunities. Whether we want to use this type of tool or not, the option is there, and in any case, we are not trying to hurt anyone: it is enough to improve in one way or another by relationship to others.
However, there are those who see social relations from the opposite perspective. Instead of taking advantage of the many ways to connect with others that the present has to offer, they prefer to spend a lot of their free time expressing negative attitudes towards the people around them. These are people who constantly judge and criticize others and systematic. In this article, we’ll explain why they act this way and how we can learn from them on how not to focus our personal relationships.
So are the people who judge others
Let’s start with the basics: how do you recognize people on a daily basis who always walk by criticizing others? Among the characteristics and habits that define them, the most typical are the following (they do not occur all at once in all cases, of course).
1. They want to seduce others with criticism
It may sound contradictory, but the habit of always judging others can make informal connections between people. Bonds similar to friendship.
How can this happen? On the one hand, always going against others but at the same time dealing with a person suggests the idea that that person is better than the vast majority. By default, the fact that someone who is always critical of others tolerates our presence and even seems to appreciate it can come to us to be good.
On the other hand, the fact of meaning judged by someone close to us, added to the above, makes that we believe that this always critical person can help us spot our weaknesses, Making it easier to beat them. The reasoning is this: others are not lucky enough to have someone correcting them nearby, but we do, so we have to be privileged.
One thing that indicates that this is a subtle form of manipulation is the fact that while vexatious comments or attempted ridicule are common (which is supposed to help us recognize our own mistakes), it is unimaginable. The idea that the person throwing these daggers in our house would also help us overcome these supposed imperfections.
2. They are unable to focus the discussion on arguments
When it comes to discussing a topic constructively, people accustomed to judgment tend to direct your comments to negative characteristics against which he supposedly presents himself as a person: the ad hominem error is his downfall, even if at first they defended the right option.
3. They use any excuse to ridicule
A risky style, an action that deviates slightly from social conventions, or an opinion that simply does not match your own these are grounds for mockery or to be used to “read the mind” of that person and attribute all kinds of intelligence or personality imperfections to them.
These comments can be more or less ingenious depending on the case, but what is clear is that they do not come to the case and do not talk about features or facts that are very irrelevant.
4. On social networks, little critical subtlety
On the Internet, people who judge others in the usual way they feel this equates to the added protection of anonymity, So that they take advantage of it to give course to their cruelty. This means that they leave all kinds of derogatory comments, for all to see, knowing that the negative impact of this type of post is more noticeable: everyone can know who is being criticized, but we don’t know. very well who emits them. .
Moreover, since the Internet is generally a place where avoiding a rational discussion or debate does not come at a high cost (unlike a face-to-face dialogue, in which it is always clear who wants to stop intervening) these critiques are simple and straightforward, since they do not have to give rise to an exchange of opinions. They are little more than insults which are elongated through several words placed to form a sentence.
Why are they so critical?
There are many reasons that can lead a person to constantly criticize others, but several of them are particularly common. The bottom line is that judging another superficially is an easy and simple way to feel superior to someone and, by comparison, feel better about yourself.
When one of these people formulates a thought aimed at sinking another person (either saying it out loud or keeping it to themselves), they are in fact trying to temporarily escape the ruin that is their own self-esteem. self.
The most negative thing about these people is not what happens when they think in negative or derogatory terms about someone else, because these types of ideas are so simple and not elaborate that no one has to take them seriously. The most negative thing is what happens the rest of the time in your own mind i.e. the reign of resentment that completely submits to self-esteem.
In the same way that those who obsessively think about an idea that causes them anxiety desperately try to seek out distractions, such as binge eating, drug use, or even skin cuts, there are those who try to save his self-image for a brief moment. moment creating a fiction that is far above anyone else.
This is why, at a time when the struggle of ego is on the agenda, it does not take as normal these outbursts of contempt for others with which some people try to stand out in front of others and in front of themselves. Anyone who needs to throw darts at others so as not to sink – make it clear that they have nothing to offer and can only ask for help.