One of the most common issues in my consultation is low self-esteem. Low self-esteem leads to a negative self-perception and is a factor that can significantly limit us in our daily life. The truth is, in many cases, patients don’t know how to identify that they are suffering from low self-esteem. Because?
Because low self-esteem leads to other types of problems which are the supposed cause for which they turn to the psychologist, problems such as symptoms of anxiety, depression, behavior problems, stress , dependency, etc. and here are some tips on how to identify what is happening to us and how we can fix it. It is easy to improve self-esteem, you just need to put a little strength into it.
What is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is the set of beliefs, perceptions, evaluations and thoughts that we have about ourselves, the evaluation we make on the basis of our experiences.
What symptoms can tell me that I have low self-esteem?
Some main symptoms that can warn us that our self-esteem is not at its best are:
- I have no security in me
- I do not express my tastes or my opinions for fear of being rejected or for thinking that my opinions do not have the same value as the opinions of others
- I don’t feel worthy of the finer things in life
- I don’t strive to get what I want because in advance I think I’m not going to get it
- I don’t relate to others as much as I would like because I think I’m not going to do well and they will put me aside
- I need the approval of others very often
- I let myself be walked on easily because I don’t dare to impose myself in case of need
- I see others as superior to me and I would like to be like them
- It scares me to say what I feel, maybe other people don’t like what I say
- I generally attribute my successes to external causes and my failures to internal causes.
- I’m hardly ever happy with what I do cause I think I could be better
- I don’t feel happy
- I find it difficult to finish what I started because it demotivated me very easily
- Decision making becomes a very difficult thing because I think whatever you decide will be the wrong choice so I get carried away with what others decide even if it comes from my own life
- I think about my weaknesses and I almost never stop thinking about my strengths
- I feel nervous most of the day
- It’s almost impossible for me to take the initiative
- I feel assessed almost constantly in social situations
- I feel guilty
- I feel unattractive
- I envy other people’s lives
- I feel like I have nothing to contribute
If you have felt this on several occasions, the rest of your problems may be low self-esteem. We try to solve it with some exercises so that you start to value yourself and to believe in yourself. You might be amazed at your abilities if you strive to improve your self-esteem.
How can I increase my self-esteem?
Many people wonder if there is a way to improve their own self-esteem. Obviously there is no magic potion, but we only have to be aware of it each person can improve in this regard on the basis of perseverance and following some advice based on scientific evidence.
1. Stop destroying
We need to be realistic about our strengths and our shortcomings. We are not perfect, but the intention is not to be. The goal is to be happy. So, to get there, we have to embrace the things we don’t do so well and learn from them. And of course, don’t underestimate the things we can do well, but value them the way they deserve.
Let us observe and become aware of the good that we have, of the good that we are, of the good that we do. Why keep on thinking I’m a disaster? Where has this kind of reasoning taken me?
2. Start thinking positively
Change your thoughts. The “I cannot” for “I will try”, “I will succeed”, “I am fine”. It sounds like a cliché, but forcing ourselves to look at the finer things in life a bit can help us break out of the negative dynamics. If we realize that we have a lot to value, it is easier to break out of the negative loop.
3. Set realistic goals
And that you can comply. Relatively easy to reach milestones. We can gradually increase them and we will see that, step by step, we achieve what we set out to do. If we fail, we learn without blaming ourselves for our mistakes, Because failing is a way of knowing how to do it differently next time. Dare to take up the challenges.
4. Don’t compare yourself
Each person is a world and you are the owner of your own. Focus on you. In your life. Envying and idealizing the lives of others, the only thing we will achieve is to feel miserable. We all have something good to contribute, and it’s up to us to find the right path.
5. Accept and forgive yourself
Write a letter in which you describe everything you don’t like about yourself and everything you feel guilty about. Don’t leave anything out. Read carefully and appreciate what you can improve. Say goodbye to this letter and split it into a thousand pieces. From that point on, it all starts over again, with everything you’ve learned, but leaving the guilt behind. again you have time to cross and scratch.
6. Constructively Criticize Yourself
That everything you say is for improvement, not for stagnating and blaming yourself. Also learn to adapt reviews so that they don’t affect you.
7. Treat yourself with affection and respect, always
You are the best thing that ever happened to you, so prove it. You have the right to be happy. And to make others happy by spreading your optimism.
8. Give yourself time
Do activities that make you happy. It is the best way to meet each other and develop your skills without rushing but without stopping.
9. Overcome your burdens
There are people who live dragging backpacks full of weight: jobs that don’t satisfy them, relationships that don’t give them anything, habits they don’t like … To overcome all these burdens , you have to take some control over the situation, think positively and try to change them.
10. Every night before going to bed …
…Think of the good things the day has brought you, The challenges we overcame, the mistakes we made and how we can improve.
Try to put these tips into practice for 30 days. You will find that by the end of the month you will feel better and many of the symptoms you have been experiencing will go away. And remember, there is only one person who can change your life, and that person is you!
Learn to love yourself
In the following article, we have explained more interesting aspects of your self-perception and how to improve in what you set out to do. We hope you find these tips helpful and that you are sure to achieve the good path you have started today..
“Learning to love yourself: 10 keys to getting there”
- Branden, N. (1995). The six pillars of self-esteem. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Cava, MJ and Musitu, G. (2000). Build self-esteem at school. Barcelona: Paidós.
- Oñate, M. (1989). The concept of self. Formation, measurement and implications for personality. Madrid. Narcea.