“What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.”
-Friedrich Nietzsche (1844 – 1900) – The decline of idols.
How to deal with difficult events and adverse circumstances that change our lives? The death of a loved one, the loss of a job, a serious illness, a terrorist attack, a natural disaster or other traumatic events – all examples of difficult experiences that anyone can undergo at one time. given moment. Most people react to these situations with strong emotions and uncertainty, although they are generally able to adapt to these stressful conditions. What allows them to do that?
Resilience is the capacity involved in this process, an ongoing process that takes time and effort and allows people to endure these difficult situations step by step.
You might be interested in: “The 10 Typical Habits of Resilient People”
Below you can find ideas for understanding the concept of resilience and some pointers on how to develop it and improve it.
What is resilience?
Resilience is the process by which we have made a correct adaptation in the face of adversity, traumatic events, Tragedies, various threats or significant sources of stress, such as family or personal relationship problems, serious health problems or financial and professional stressors. It means recovering or recovering from a difficult experience.
Studies show that resilience is common; it is not an extraordinary skill. People tend to be resilient throughout their lives; Examples are people looking for work after being made redundant by their old company, families rebuilding their homes after a fire or relatives of victims of a terrorist attack, who make the effort to live their lives. despite the loss of a loved one.
The ability to overcome a loss situation
You could say that resilience is wholeness beyond resistance. It is the ability to overcome an unwanted stimulus. resilience it is about maintaining flexibility and balance in life as difficult circumstances are faced and traumatic events.
Being resilient does not mean that the person is not experiencing psychological difficulties or stress. Emotional pain and sadness are common emotions in people who have experienced great adversity or traumatic times in their life. In fact, the path to resilience is not easy and it is likely to be fraught with pitfalls and instability situations that can affect our emotional state.
It is important to know that resilience is not a trait that people have or do not have, but it is a concept that includes a series of behaviors, thoughts and actions that they can be learned and gradually developed by anyone who wishes to do so. The resilient being is not an extraordinary being: this ability is in every person. The task is to develop this ability with attitude and firmness.
10 ways to build resilience
Generating capacities to create resilience is a personal project. Not all people react the same way to traumatic or stressful situations. An approach to improving resilience may work in one person but not in another. different strategies can be used to promote good adaptation.
Some of these variations often reflect cultural differences. Culture can have an impact on how a person communicates their feelings and how they cope with adversity. An example of this is the different conceptions that exist of death in various cultures; while for most Western countries death is represented as the end of all good things, it is seen as an overwhelmingly negative fact and is often a taboo subject, for the Orientals, it constitutes the step towards the regeneration and the reaffirmation of the ancestral values who have shaped their community.
The key is to identify which tips can work with us and how they can be part of our own personal strategy to improve it. Below you can find ten strategies that will help you build resilience.
1. Build supportive relationships inside and outside the family
It is important building good relationships with close family, friends and other important people in our lives. Accepting help and support from people who love and listen to us helps provide role models and offer encouragement and security. Some people find that being active in community groups, aid-based organizations and other local groups can give them social support and help them have hope.
2. Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable obstacles
However, you can’t stop stressful events from happening. you can change the way you interpret and react to it. Try to look beyond the present and think things will get better in the future. See if there is a subtle way to make yourself feel better about difficult situations.
3. Accept that change is part of life
You may not be able to achieve some goals due to an unfavorable situation. Accept the circumstances the fact that they cannot be changed can help you focus on the circumstances that can be improved.
4. Aim for your goals
Develop your ability to make realistic plans and follow the steps necessary to achieve them. Always take action to get closer to your goals, even if they seem like small successes. Instead of focusing on tasks that seem impossible to accomplish, ask yourself what you can improve on today that will help you walk in the direction you want to go.
5. Take decisive action
In adverse situations, it is better to take decisive action than to ignore problems and tensions and wish they were gone. Don’t be afraid to reflect on the situation you are facing, and when you think you’ve come to a conclusion, move on.
6. Look for opportunities to discover yourself
Many times, as a result of a fight against adversity, people can learn something about themselves and feel that they have grown in one way or another on a personal level. Many people who have experienced tragedies and difficult situations, have expressed an improvement in the management of their personal relationships, an increase in their personal strength even though they feel vulnerable, a feeling that their self-esteem has improved, a more developed spirituality and a greater appreciation of life.
7. Improve your communication and problem-solving skills
The more we develop these capabilities, the better we know how to resolve our interpersonal conflicts, the less stressful burden will fall on us. It is also important to know how to deal with strong feelings and impulses, to enable them to feel them and also to recognize when they need to be avoided in order to continue working.
8. Cultivate a positive outlook on yourself
No one is perfect, each of us has strengths and areas for improvement. It is important to accept and love ourselves as we are, rely on our strengths and capabilities and try to improve our abilities as much as possible.
9. Never lose hope
When we are optimistic despite the problems, we will be better able to expect good things to happen in life. Try to visualize what you want to accomplish instead of worrying excessively of what you fear will happen or what could have been and was not. Even if you are facing very painful events that cause you great discomfort, try to see the situation that is causing you stress in a larger context, and keep a long-term perspective.
10. Take care of yourself
You have to pay attention to the intangible and to yourself: for example, you have to think about your needs and wants. Take an interest in activities that you enjoy and find relaxing. Exercise regularly, it is beneficial for your physical and psychological health. Healthy men in a healthy body. Take care of yourself helps keep the mind and body fit and ready to face situations that require resilience.
Other ways to promote your inner strength
There are some additional ways to build resilience that you might find helpful. For example, I suggest you try to write about your deepest thoughts, emotions and feelings related to the traumatic experience. or other stressful events in your life that are currently causing you discomfort and anxiety.
Meditation and certain spiritual practices such as yoga or mindfulness can also help some people build positive relationships, improve their quality of life, and focus on the future with a better perspective.
Some questions to ask yourself
Focusing on past positive experiences, developing a positive mood, and improving sources of personal strength are factors that they can help you decisively identify personal qualities and learn strategies that work for you when it comes to building resilience.
With this little self-exploration exercise by answering the following questions about yourself and your reactions to challenges in your life, you will be able to discover how to respond effectively to difficult events.
- What types of events were the most difficult for you?
- How did these events affect you psychologically?
- When you feel stressed or hopeless, has it helped you think about your loved ones?
- When faced with a problematic and difficult experience, who did you turn to for help?
- What have you been able to learn about yourself and your relationship with others when you have been through difficult circumstances?
- Has it helped you provide emotional support to other people who are going through a similar situation?
- Have you been successful in overcoming the obstacles that have appeared in your life? And if so, how did you get it?
- What do you think is the main driver that has helped you the most?
Hope this article was helpful to get to know you better and discover your resilience and develop it throughout your life.