Being happy is one of the main goals that we humans have, which is why so many studies have been done to find out what makes people happy. Well, the science is clear: there are activities, thoughts, behaviors, attitudes that determine how we feel.
Many times, without realizing it, we fail to be happy because we make toxic mistakes or habits that affect us negatively. Happiness is, in part, to give up.
Things we must give up to live happily
In the following lines you will find a list of thoughts and behaviors that we need to correct in order to enjoy greater well-being and be happier.
1. Renunciation of perfectionism
Perfectionism can seem like a positive thing because it can be associated with the idea of wanting to do things the best possible way. But perfectionist beliefs cause people great discomfortBecause they make us have expectations that are too high, often unachievable. Extreme perfectionism and happiness are not compatible, because this way of thinking produces anxiety, depression, low self-esteem …
You can learn more about this phenomenon in this article: “Perfectionist Personality: The Downsides of Perfectionism”.
2 Renunciation of hatred, anger and revenge
It is normal to feel hate and anger at some point in our life, for example, when our partner leaves us. But this feeling, which can be part of the breakup phases of the couple, cannot control our lives. There is nothing positive about feeling hate for others and wanting revenge can rather complicate things and make us feel even worse. Don’t let hate and anger control you.
3. Give up on others to decide for you
Human beings are social beings and we often want to make a good impression on others. But you cannot let these thoughts dominate you, because they will make you extremely unhappy. Happiness comes from knowing yourself and fight for what you love.
4. He renounces always possessing the absolute truth
Although it is sometimes difficult to recognize, we are not always right. If we are to be happy, we need to be tolerant of others and respect their opinions and freedoms, which allows us to create a climate of tolerance necessary for everyone to speak out without frustration. We must also be self-critical, In the sense of recognizing our own mistakes when we have them.
5. Renunciation of the past tense
To be happy, you have to connect with yourself in the present moment. We can’t live with the past anymore, so it doesn’t make much sense to live anchored in older moments of our life except to learn from them. Being in the here and now with all the senses is crucial.
6. Give up being very hard on yourself
It is also normal that many people are very hard on themselves, blame themselves for everything and, when faced with setbacks, recreate what could have gone wrong. It is possible to learn from your mistakes, and things won’t always turn out well for us. Make sure there are ways to get up after a fall this is what will help us to be happy.
7. Let go of negative thoughts
And it is that when we do not accept that sometimes we can fail, negative thoughts invade our mind. We value ourselves negatively and our self-esteem and self-confidence weaken. It makes us become paralyzed instead of moving.
8. Waiver of the complaint
Complaining out of habit doesn’t solve anything. If something we don’t like about ourselves or about a situation, we need to do our part to fix it. The simple complaint remains a way of not facing reality and therefore makes us miserable.
9. Let go of your need for control
People obsessed with being in control of every event in their life they suffer from what is called generalized anxiety, and that is that you cannot be happy if you want everything to be perfect. Imperfection is important in our lives and that is why we have to let go of excessive control.
10. Let go of the fear of uncertainty
Excessive control can lead us to fear uncertainty, to be uncomfortable in these situations where we are far from our comfort zonet. If we want to grow as people and be happy, we have to take a step forward and not be afraid of uncertainty.
11. Give up avoiding problems
Resistance to facing problems is one of the hallmarks of a weak personality because it’s easier to blame the environment or others for assuming that something we did could have made our situation worse. Dealing with problems is the key to being happy and to help us solve them.
12. Stop thinking about what other people think of you
Spending the day thinking about what others will think of you can be very exhausting, so we must avoid constantly thinking about giving a beautiful, impeccable image facing others. For example, uploading photos from your vacation to gain the admiration of others.
- This behavior can be negative for many reasons. You can read it in this article: “Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you”.
13. Drop the barriers you impose when you change
Resistance to change is a phenomenon that people can experience and this too it is closely related to the comfort zone and anxiety caused by uncertainty. Likewise, low self-confidence is also linked to resistance to change. That is why there are a series of steps you can take to improve your self-confidence and empower yourself in the face of your life transformation.
14. Stop blaming others
To apologize for blaming others is a waste of time, because it does not allow you to move forward. When you blame others for your failures, you aren’t taking responsibility and you’re not directing your life in the direction you want. To be happy you have to take the reins of your life, and that means having the capacity to be responsible.
15. Waiver of self-blame
Not blaming others doesn’t mean you have to blame yourself and poke your self-esteem. possesses be aware that there are good and bad times in lifeThis will allow you to adopt a positive attitude towards change.
16. Renunciation of emotional affection
Emotions have an adaptive role in our lives, which is why they are and have been useful for the development of our species. But not knowing how to properly handle these emotions can take a toll on our well-being. that’s why you need to know how to identify and regulate them, So that we can live in harmony with ourselves and with others.
Emotional affect itself is not badBut individuals not only hold on to others, but we also hold on to them with objects and, even worse, with our own narratives, which is called the “conceptual self”. Knowing how to detach from emotions is possible if we have the ability to observe, live in the present, adopt a non-judgmental state of mind, and treat ourselves with compassion.
17. Renunciation of fear
Fear is a very adaptive emotion, however when it’s irrational, it can be crippling and cause great discomfort. Overcoming fears is necessary to be happy.
18. Waiver of procrastination
Procrastination is the opposite of the phrase “don’t go tomorrow what you can do today”. It’s a excuse and make you so an unproductive person. This can cause problems for your well-being. For example, when you feel stressed because you have accumulated tasks so as not to get them done on time.
19. Waiver of damage
Prejudice can make you a miserable person, especially when you are sexist, racist, etc. According to a study by researchers at the Swiss Federal Institute of Technology Zurich (ETH), people with prejudices are socially disadvantagedThey don’t learn anything new and usually lose opportunities.
21. Refusal to judge others
Some people are very worried about what is going on in other people’s lives. This behavior is harmful and a waste of time. Better to take time in yourself and in our happiness, as well as in the development of ourselves as people.
22. Abandonment of irrational expectations
If living in the past is bad, so is the future. Plus, if we have irrational expectations, the consequences for our emotional health can be devastating. However, having goals in life is motivating., As long as they are realistic.
23. Exemption from social taxes
Social charges (not laws) can cause a lot of suffering to people. The canon of beauty, getting married almost out of obligation, not being able to have liberal relations… are beliefs that are prevalent in society and that are classified as “good”. The behaviors associated with these beliefs are socially accepted. But social charges don’t let us be ourselves and can affect our well-being. As long as you don’t do anything to anyone, think about these beliefs and act according to your true desires.