Everyone wants to be happy and live a full life; however, we often engage in behaviors that do not favor us or think in a way that does not help us at all in this regard.
While there are a number of events outside of us that we cannot control that influence how we feel, we do. we can control how we relate to these.
The things we do to ourselves that we should avoid
And it’s so many times we ourselves are our own worst enemies. That is why, in this article, I have prepared a list of things that we do to ourselves that can affect our well-being.
So if you want to be happy you have to stop:
1. obsessed with happiness
We all want to be happy; but when we become obsessed with happiness, we get the opposite. Happiness is in yourself, not in others, and has a lot to do with valuing what we have, following our path and desires, and having rational expectations.
2. Be emotionally dependent
Emotional dependence is a consequence of having low self-esteem. By depending on others and giving them your happiness, we feel addicted to their presence. This is a phenomenon that usually occurs in certain relationships. If you want to avoid it, you can read this article: “12 Tips to Overcome Emotional Addiction”
3. Thinking that you always have the absolute truth
We all have our own way of thinking and we have all had different experiences. Believing that everything we think is the only truth is a mistake. This mentality does not allow us to grow and, moreover, does not leave us respect the opinions of others. Even if you disagree, others may have valid opinions as well.
4. The past rules your life
The past is there and we cannot change it, but we can change the way we relate to this time in our life. We all make mistakes and therefore, to be happy you have to accept them and learn from them. There is no need to recreate something that has already happened.
5. Be so hard on yourself
And it is that when you live from the past, it is easy to be hard on yourself. So we have to accept (don’t forget) and stop blaming ourselves for the things we don’t like in our lives. Acceptance is the key grow as a person and enjoy greater emotional well-being.
6. Don’t be proactive
To enjoy greater emotional well-being, it is necessary to be in motion; in other words it is. fight for our goals and don’t stand still and wait for things to happen on their own.
7. Be afraid of uncertainty
One of the most common fears is the fear of uncertainty. It’s the fear of not knowing what will happen if we take a risk, so we prefer to stay still, even if we don’t have a good time.
Complaining won’t change your lifeIt is therefore unnecessary to do so. It’s best to analyze the reasons why things went wrong and try to change. If you can’t change, you have to accept it.
9. Think negatively
Thinking negatively immobilizes us, so we need to be optimistic and look to the future with a positive mindset.
10. Check everything
The fear of uncertainty often makes us want to have everything under control, So as not to have to expose yourself to the anguish created by uncertainty.
11. Stay in the comfort zone
And this fear of uncertainty forces us to stay in the comfort zone, that is, in that place where we feel comfortable, and which, without taking advantage of us, invites us to stay there indefinitely.
12. Pay attention to your limiting beliefs
Sometimes we think what we believe is right; but it actually prevents us from growing. These thoughts are called limiting beliefs and we should avoid them. Sometimes we have a belief about something which makes us pessimistic about our possibilities, And when we put ourselves to the test, we realize that there was not as much. You have to avoid these kinds of beliefs to be happy.
13. Think about what others think of you
Thinking about what other people think of you keeps you from being happy. it wastes a lot of energy. To be happy you have to look inward, not outward.
14. Blame others
Blaming others can be an excuse not to recognize that sometimes we could be wrong. We have to hit the ground running and be realistic.
15. Look at the problems
And blaming others is one way to avoid solving problems. So if you want to fix things, it is always better to face the problems and be aware that it is possible to change.
Not to blame others does not mean that we should blame ourselves, but we should analyze problems or difficult situations as they are, without looking elsewhere, and learn from them to improve our situation. We should not blame ourselves, but accept that things are happening, whether good or bad.
17. get involved in toxic relationships
Toxic relationships can do a lot of harm, however. it is not always easy to recognize that we are in one. If we tend to switch from relationship to relationship and we still have the same problem, maybe this one is not from others, but from our own.
18. Being afraid of relationships because previous ones didn’t work
We can’t go from one end to the other eitherIn other words, not having relationships with others because the precedents did not work. Every relationship is a world, so if we want to be with someone, we have to work on it.
19. Compete with others
Competition with others can make us extremely unhappy because each has its own virtues and its own faults. It is important that we value ourselves for who we are and do not try to be better than others, but to go our own way.
20. Be jealous
Being jealous not only hurts the victim of jealousy, but also the jealous person. You have to avoid being jealous, and if the problem is in your self-esteem, action must be taken in this regard.
21. Be jealous
Envy should be avoided. Although, to a greater or lesser extent, we can all desire something that another person has, the urge cannot be a constant in our lives because it negatively affects our self-esteem and that is not positive for our interpersonal relationships.
22. Be resentful
Resentment is not good for ourselves either, because it makes us have a great rage in us and it causes us great suffering.
23. You will be avenging
It may seem that resentment and revenge are the same; but resentment is a thought and revenge is the action that results from that thought of wanting to hurt someone who has hurt us. Revenge is usually a bad choice.
24. Be afraid to change
Fear of change paralyzes and it is in no way adaptive. To be happy, we have to remove it from our lives.
25. Always do the same things
Doing the same thing over and over again can be a symptom of wanting to stay in the comfort zone, so it’s okay to try new things that energize us and make us learn new ways of seeing life.
26. Evaluate negatively
Negative value a a disastrous consequence on your emotional balance and psychological well-being. Therefore, we must accept ourselves as we are.
27. Be a perfectionist
Perfectionism may seem like a positive behavior and way of thinking, but to think that everything has to be perfect is always an unrealistic belief that causes a lot of suffering.
Procastination is not a good option, so … why leave for tomorrow what we can do today? Get used to procasitinating this can have negative consequences, such as causing excessive tasks that can cause stress.
29. Judging others
Judging others is not good for us or for them, especially if we live with prejudices of race, gender, etc.
30. Live far from the present
One of the keys to well-being is to live in the present moment and not in irrational expectations. To learn to be here and now, it is possible to practice mindfulness.
31. Disrespecting the opinions of others
Another mistake to avoid is being intolerant and disrespecting the opinions of others. Lack of tolerance generates unnecessary conflicts.
32. Don’t love yourself
While tolerance breeds conflict between people, not loving yourself creates internal conflicts that make us feel really bad.