4 dangerous lies we tell each other every day

No one likes to be lied to, but to be realistic, we have all, at some point in our lives, lied. This is stated in a book called “Liespotting: Proven Techniques for Detecting Deceit”, which was written by Pamela Meyer. In its pages appears an investigation which concluded that people lie between 10 and 200 times a day, because we often only tell part of the truth. We are social beings and we often adapt many sentences to what is considered socially acceptable.

In another book, additionally, University of Massachusetts psychology professor Robert Feldman explains that “we tell between two and three lies in the first 10 minutes of a conversation with someone we don’t. met only recently “. Lying often protects our own self-esteem, according to Feldman.

Several dangerous lies that we tell each other every day

Given Friedman’s assertion, people often make mistakes over and over again to keep our self-esteem intact. But, What are the most common lies we tell in our everyday life?

1. I’m leaving tomorrow

This phrase is often applied, for example, when a person smokes and experiences negative health consequences. Smokers, even though they know it hurts them, continue to do so. The case of smokers is a classic example of cognitive dissonance, a well-studied theory that is defined as the anxiety, stress, or discomfort that a person experiences when their beliefs and attitudes conflict with their behaviors. This anxiety causes the person to deceive themselves to reduce the discomfort.

“I’ll leave it tomorrow” is a way of not having to make a decision right away even if we see the negative consequences of our action.. In the case of the smoker, you may notice in TV commercials that smoking causes cancer, breathing problems, chronic fatigue, and even death. In addition, images and a clear message appear on the tobacco packaging.

Despite these messages, the smoker continues to smoke even though he knows he must be in good health and that this drug is harmful to his health. Studies on cognitive dissonance show that people avoid these types of anti-smoking messages and even justify themselves with thoughts like “I’m going to have to die for something.”

  • If you want to know more about the theory of cognitive dissonance proposed by Léon Festinger, you can read our article: “Cognitive dissonance: the theory that explains self-deception”

2. I start tomorrow

“I start tomorrow” is a classic of those people who have the habit of postponing their tasks or activities without any valid justification.. This is called procrastination, and it’s more common than it looks. In fact, a survey of 1,347 subjects showed that one in four had a strong tendency to procrastinate. The study further concluded that there were no significant differences between men and women.

Another survey that tried to find out how much procrastination a person found, on average, employees postpone their main task by an hour and 20 minutes each day. In the case of college students, 32% are likely to engage in the habit, according to a study from Patterns of Academic Procrastination.

Depending on the situation, “leaving tomorrow” can cause serious problems, such as stress when tasks pile up. On the other hand, this phrase is also typical when a person has serious difficulty in starting to engage in physical activity, so his health will also be affected.

  • You can learn more about this phenomenon in our article: “Procrastination or ‘I’m going to do it tomorrow’ syndrome: what it is and how to avoid it”.

3. Life is pink (false optimism)

Optimism can be a great virtue when it comes to living a happy and fulfilling life, as optimistic individuals see the good side of life and the positive, rather than recreating themselves in the negative. Optimistic people tend not to compare themselves to others, they are realistic, they know how to be motivated, they like it, they know what they want, they have great self-confidence, they pass criticism, they have the control of their life and they are sincere with them.

But that has nothing to do with false optimism, which claims to be an optimistic person and believes that life is rosy. False optimism is a mask that keeps us from thinking about life and avoiding making compromised decisions.. False optimists are not sincere with themselves, they have no control over their lives, and neither are they.

    4. Wanting is power

    “Wanting is power” is a great motivational phrase that can help many people achieve their goals.. But this phrase shouldn’t be used literally, as it isn’t always true that you can have everything you want or get anywhere you want. When we set goals and objectives, they must be realistic, otherwise they can lead to frustration and discomfort.

    Imagine someone who has a problem with their voice and wants to be a singer. This phrase is good when a person has potential and talent that they can develop. In other cases, where the goal cannot be achieved, the alternative is acceptance. Of course, the key is to detect what we’re good at, and then it makes sense to apply that motivational phrase.

      How is the brain of a liar

      These lies or self-deception are quite common among the population, however, some people are compulsive liars. Scientific studies have shown that a liar’s brain has certain characteristics.

      • To learn more, read our article: “The Recumbent Brain: Do We Really Know Why We Do What We Do?”

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