We often forget that if personal relationships are already complicated, sometimes the most difficult is to relate to yourself.
And is feeling good about yourself a virtually unattainable goal for some people, something that seems even more unlikely than learning the most complex skills. After all, while in order to learn to play chess or finish a college career the steps involved are pretty clear, the same is not true with the arduous task of repair our self-esteem.
In this article we will see a proposal from several steps to feel better about yourself, With examples and indications.
Feeling better about yourself is possible
In the world of the human mind, few things are set in stone, and the seemingly most lingering feelings of self-contempt may disappear if we learn to see ourselves with other eyes.
To do this, you will need to change both your thinking patterns and the way you relate to your surroundings and to others. This double course of action, focused on beliefs and actionsIt is the basis of cognitive behavioral therapies, and if the failure to go through the consultation of the psychologist reduces the chances of success, it is always worth implementing these strategies on a daily basis.
1. Check your attribution style
People with self-esteem issues they tend to attribute their success to luck or others; in short, to elements that are not part of its own merit. At the same time, they believe that most of the bad things that happen to them are their fault, even though the cause and effect relationship is unclear.
So faced with the question “How do I feel better about myself?” you need to start by thinking deeply about your attribution style in cases where significantly good or very bad things happen to you. It would be ideal to do this as often as possible, but as you will surely lack the time and energy to apply all the time, it is better to go to practice and do it in the most particular cases. Over time, you will automatically lose the need to do this.
For example, if you’re praised for a college project, it’s much more reasonable that it’s on your merits rather than because it suits the reviewer (just because most reviewers do their job). Likewise, it is very common for abused people to believe that these attacks are their fault, although this is obviously not the case.
2. Practice compassion
If you find it difficult to accept yourself, you may be applying very rigid expectations. these beliefs about what you should be and what you are not. For example, there are millions of women who blame themselves for not looking like women who literally don’t exist because they are unrecognizable role models after going through a layer of computer image editing programs.
So, in the same way that you sympathize with others, practice compassion with yourself and accept that you do not have to be subjected or subjected to tyrannical conditions of behavior. It is not necessary to adapt perfectly to these ideals that we have, just to deal with them, if that is what we want. For that, spend 5 minutes a day thinking about whether your “ideal self” is reasonable or not, What if you try to look too much like that person who only exists in your imagination.
3. Love your apparent imperfections
The reality is too complex to be divided into “good” and “bad”. Of course, there are situations in which it is clear that something is right and its opposite is not, but this does not always happen, because not everyone is fit to fall into categories of. thought also hermetic and delimited.
One of the consequences of this is that what we believe to be their own imperfections should not be.
In fact, there are those who love those personal traits that others would be ashamed of. For example, the uninhibited character of those who have no complexes but live in strongly conservative, even wrinkled societies, which in a context where discrimination against mature people is widespread, can be seen as a positive aesthetic value, a sign of living.
Likewise, there is the mania and the “very clean” traits which can be adorable or charismatic if we stop seeing them as mistakes in oneself: obviously, if we are ashamed of it, it is noticeable, And other people will act as if these characteristics are indeed a bad thing.
4. Devote yourself to what you love
One of the most common reasons people have a hard time accepting themselves is that they think they are wasting their time. To avoid this, the solution is to reinvent. Work to achieve a situation where we can devote ourselves to what we love. If we do this, we can even be proud of the path we have taken to reach that fucking life, even if it is not yet reached.
Orient yourself to action. Avoid being mean to yourself through negative thoughts, which in practice are just an excuse not to improve yourself, and focus on directing your action towards things that really make you grow. Create reasons to be proud of being who you are, in your situation and with the means at your disposal.