4 symptoms associated with low self-esteem

In essence, self-esteem is (avoiding complicated definitions) the opinion we have of ourselves.

One more opinion, neither more nor less, not the only one, but perhaps the most important, since a misconception of who we are and what we are worth it can seriously affect our emotional life, our behavior and our relationships with others.

And it is on this last point that I want to focus, because even though we have strong self-esteem, the low self-esteem of other people with whom we will eventually have to bond can be the seed of a complicated relationship. and signed by the conflict.

    Symptoms related to low self-esteem

    Here are some simple key ideas (taken directly from my clinical experience) for being able to identify a loss of self-esteem when we are introduced to someone, starting a new job, or projecting a story of. love. The possibilities are numerous and directly applicable in everyday life.

    1. Tendency to be defensive

    People with low self-esteem often go through life with an attitude of submission and defeatism, or on the contrary: they behave in a picky and belligerent manner. As they think they are worth little, they live in a permanent war with themselves and with the world.

    Take as an example a situation that I witnessed once. I watched a man stand on one side of the front door of the collective he was about to climb up to let in a girl who was running in a hurry.

    Far from taking the gesture for a positive thing, she said to him, with her most beautiful face of disgust: – Are you letting me pass because I am a woman? What ..? Does being a woman make me inferior? He smiled sympathetically and replied, “No.” I let you through because I am nice.

      2. Tendency to fundamentalism

      Those with low self-esteem adhere to rigid and fundamentalist ideas. Being part of a group or a major cause helps them maintain their fragile self-esteem..

      They often identify with strong political ideologies or impervious religious beliefs, which they defend at all costs. This makes them powerful because they replace their low self-esteem with the higher collective self-esteem of the group to which they belong. They adopt from the point of view of others as their own, they have little critical judgment and succumb to the thought of the flock.

      Recently, a journalist covering a demonstration to protest against the legalization of abortion approached a girl with her microphone and asked her about the reasons that led her to leave for the march.

      Taken by surprise, hesitant and hesitant, the young girl only succeeded in stammering something unintelligible, then proclaimed herself triumphant: “Sex education to decide, contraceptives to avoid abortion and abortion. legal not to die ”.

      A phrase that had been repeated in the media for several weeks before.

      3. Tendency to distrust

      Since they feel inferior to others, many of these people seek to compensate for this unpleasant feeling by downplaying the abilities of others, or disqualify their achievements, or question the prestige or credentials of other people.

      Since they feel that they cannot follow others, they seek to bring others down to their own height. They land in the face of the possibility of competition or someone invading the small space of ground they inhabit.

      On one occasion, a psychiatrist I was speaking to on the phone about a report I had sent him about a patient we had in common interrupted me abruptly to ask me something about my professional fee, which was listed on the end of the document he had. in the hand.

      -Here he says “doctor” he told me, notoriously boring. And the comment was not even remotely related to what we had been discussing. Why do you say “doctor” if you are not a doctor? “Of course I’m a doctor,” I said slowly, though surprised. “Doctor” is someone who has a doctorate. Let me guess: what do you call a “doctor” without being a doctor?

      Uncomfortable with the engagement in which she was alone, she stammered a few more words, said goodbye quickly and cut the communication, leaving our exchange unfinished.

      4. Jealousy

      they are generally controlling and jealous individuals. Not only do they fear competition from others, whom they perceive as a threat, but they are also possessive, in a desperate attempt to retain other people, whom they feel they can lose at any time.

      I remember the case of a patient who during the week had become very angry with her partner because she had posted on Instagram a profile picture which she posed in a bikini on the beach.

      -Why are you uploading this photo? he wanted to know, indignant. Who is this photo for? Who do you want to love? Why do you never put pictures where we are together?

      Such was the scandal it caused, that the bride finally agreed to replace the “controversial” photo with another depending on my patient’s insecurities.

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