In many places you hear about personal development, but very few people understand how to achieve it. This is normal, because it is a rather abstract idea, a process, a road traveled for a long time.
Growing up as a person is a difficult task and it takes time and patience, with emotions playing a crucial role in achieving this. Emotional intelligence is the key to personal development.
We will discover the key emotional characteristics to achieve our goals, aspects that will allow us to have an ideal emotional state to improve ourselves as individuals and achieve what we have set for ourselves.
10 emotional characteristics to achieve goals
Personal development is something that has become very popular in recent times. And that makes perfect sense, because as presented to us, this is the key to being a happy person, being successful in life, and being better prepared for the more than likely setbacks that can arise in life. But how do we do it? ??What are the keys to personal development? The answer may not seem very simple.
Personal development drinks a lot from emotional intelligence. Having a well-developed ability to identify emotions in oneself and in others is something that certainly helps in our development as a person. For this reason we can say that the key to achieving this lies in the world of emotions and for this reason we will delve into the following emotional keys for personal development.
1. Enjoy the solitude
It is a difficult point for many people, but it is essential for them to develop as people. Being alone with yourself is a great experience to immerse yourself in your own emotions, opinions, desires and feelings., a time when we can get to know the most important person in our life better: ourselves. It’s also a great time to build self-esteem, take care of yourself and meet your own needs.
2. Filter the information
Filtering the information that comes to us is a very important emotional key, even if at first glance it seems to have little to do with our emotions. However, the truth is that information is based on stimuli that elicit emotional responses in us and, therefore, knowing how to filter is also to select what we want to affect us emotionally.
This is why we must filter the information and let go of the one that makes us grow, keeping away from us the one that is toxic or that blocks us. Therefore, if necessary, it is advisable to leave the mobile phone switched off, not to watch the news on TV, or to disconnect from networks. If your posts cause emotions that prevent us from developing, why do we want to know this information?
3. Express your emotions openly
We live in a culture where expressing our emotions is sometimes seen as a symptom of weakness.. As a society, we should learn that as long as they speak assertively and in order to improve themselves, saying what we feel should not be interpreted as something wrong.
If something is bothering us or if we disagree with something a boss or coworker has said or done, we need to say it by controlling our tone and harnessing the energy from our unease to change things. things. , preferably for good.
Closely related to the key above, a mandatory action for growing as a person is to practice self-knowledge. In fact, for some, it is the emotional first step in personal development. We need to an attempt at deep introspection by answering the following questions, whose answer will undoubtedly improve us:
- Who am I? What would you like to be?
- Where am I? Where would I like to be?
- What can I do to achieve this?
- What are my strengths? What about my weaknesses?
Personal development is a bit coveted by everyone, but like everything good in this life, it is long overdue.. Growing up as a person is not something that happens overnight, but it is a process where the individual discovers their strengths, weaknesses, what they want in life and how to get there. As in any process, there will be ups and downs, identity crises and times of low morale, but if you are consistent and have patience, it will be a matter of time before personal development takes hold. is reached.
6. Stop pretending to please everyone
Trying to please everyone is physically and psychologically exhausting, as well as a waste of time. It’s hard to recognize, but we have to accept it – not everyone can be loved. We will always meet people we don’t like, in the same way that we find ourselves with individuals who, without having harmed us, cannot stand.
If we live by the expectations and tastes of others, we are not genuine. It’s natural to want others to like us, but everything has a limit. If there comes a time when we have to let go of important parts of our personality in order to please another person, we will stop living our life and living the lives of others.
7. Think positive
Thinking positively is a classic in all self-help books and guides for growing as a person, which is why some may take it as an empty recommendation. It is true that thinking positively does not guarantee that we will be successful in everything we do, it would be quite naive to believe so. In life there are times of success and times of failure, but it’s our attitude that can make the difference.. The fruitful moments will be more so if we adopt a positive outlook, seeing the glass half full instead of half empty.
8. More comparisons
Comparisons are obnoxious, especially if we are the ones comparing ourselves to others. It’s normal to compare yourself because in the end people have references and you want to be like them but you have to understand that when we do, we waste a lot of energy, the same energy that we could invest in to grow as people in every way.
To give a very basic example: we want to be in good shape and we keep comparing ourselves to influencers who are very fibrous. Instead of spending hours on Instagram chatting about profiles of fit people, we can spend that time at the gym and get fit at the same time.
You cannot grow as a person if you are not a good person. Lack of empathy is a major obstacle to our personal development. Knowing how to put yourself in other people’s shoes is essential, in fact, we can say that empathy is one of the most important qualities in our life and the basis of emotional intelligence. We must strive to admit the emotions of others, to apply active listening, to understand what is happening to those who care about us, to understand their thoughts and feelings, even what we do not express verbally.
10. Create healthy social relationships
Finally, it should be noted that an emotional key to personal development is knowing how to create healthy social relationships. Friends, family, partner … These are all relationships that can greatly influence our mood. and consequently intervene in our personal success by motivation. For example, a toxic relationship, in which there is yelling, blaming, and sour comments, will not help us grow as people because we will be frustrated, cranky, and always mumble something wrong that has gone wrong. been told about us.
The best way to build healthy relationships is to develop conflict resolution skills, confidently communicate how we are feeling, and make the decision to end a relationship. relationship if necessary, even if it is an extreme measure. Even if it hurts us, if a family member, friend or partner behaves badly with us or does nothing for us, it is best to get rid of that relationship and try to live without it. We cannot grow as a person if we are suffering because of someone acting as a burden on our lives.
- Sadri, G. (2012). Development of emotional intelligence and leadership. Management of public personnel, 41 (3), 535 – 548.
- Brandtstadter, J., Krampen, G. and Greve, W. (1987). Personal Developmental Control: Effects on Perception and Emotional Assessment of Personal Development in Adulthood. International Journal of Behavioral Development, 10 (1), 99 – 120.
- Mark Donati and Mary Watts (2005) Personal Development in Counselor Training: Towards a Clarification of Interrelated Concepts, British Journal of Guidance & Counseling, 33: 4, 475-484.