5 habits that feed our insecurities

In theory and in practice, no one is perfect. We all have imperfections, weaknesses, and “blind spots” in our repertoire of virtues, and that’s okay. What is problematic, however, is what happens when our perception of these flaws it generates insecurities that make us fear and without wanting to leave a very restricted comfort zone.

Unfortunately, this multifaceted insecurity is something we subconsciously internalize as we get used to participating in certain ways of interacting with others and the environment around us.

These flaws in our self-esteem don’t show up because they do, But they depend on the experiences that we go through and generate. All is not lost: As insecurities are learned, we can also unlearn them to the point of making them insignificant and small enough that they don’t affect us too much. They will never go away at all, as our emotional memory can hardly be reset, but ultimately sanity is about how we function, not how perfect we are.

    Habits that intensify our insecurities

    Below, we’ll take a look at some of the most common habits that fuel our insecurities and keep them perpetuating over time.

    1. Maintain dependency relationships

    These types of human relationships tend to be very harmful during the time they take place and are not limited to the realm of couples and romantic love.

    Typically, these links have a person who, among their strategies to keep the other in a state of dependence, Use different formulas to feed the insecurities of the latter. For example, ridiculing their successes, making fun of their proposals, etc.

      2. Exposure to very stressful contexts

      Experiencing anxiety often has a wide variety of negative impacts on our physical and mental health. Among these unwanted consequences is that of regularly seeing how our effort and ability to focus on tasks is not enough for us to achieve desired goals, so we often fail and make stupid mistakes.

      Of course, some of these insecurities are based on the objective fact that we perform worse in many tasksBut it’s not a consequence of who we are, but of the circumstances we go through. Therefore, by ceasing to be subjected to this amount of stress, it is easier for our self-perception to adjust more to reality and not lead us to pessimism.

      3. Compare yourself with idealized people

      It is one of the less secure habits. And since we live in the information society, it is more and more common to compare ourselves to people who do not really exist, as or are very “filtered” representations of real users of information? ‘a social network that only shows the good and does not show what they perceive to be their own flaws, or are representations of fictitious people created from the work of marketing departments from actual material provided by celebrities (singers , models, etc.).

      It is therefore very necessary to be aware of the existence of these filters to to keep our self-esteem and self-concept from depending on comparisons to these mirages.

      4. Avoid problems

      There are those who, at the slightest sign that a stressful event may arise, do their best to avoid exposing yourself to it, even if facing it is clearly positive or necessary given certain circumstances, even if it is. to take a chance and give. us a chance to improve our situation. In these cases, those who have already become accustomed to this dynamic which generates insecurities, they rationalize their fear of going out of their comfort zone to justify their passivity: “I don’t need to make this call, anyway I know you’re going to reject me”, for example.

      Assuming this behavior as normal only promotes the tendency to keep a low profile, foreign to any sort of ambition and highly exposed to fears based on fear of not being good enough to achieve what we would like to achieve.

      5. Base your self-esteem on criticism

      Some only find a way to reaffirm criticize or make fun of others. It doesn’t just hurt others; moreover, it makes self-esteem depend on these constant attacks. On the other hand, if ever the direction of these criticisms is reversed, one becomes much more vulnerable, because this image of oneself based on moral superiority fades.

      Develop healthy self-esteem

      As we have seen, self-esteem and the way we value ourselves it mainly depends on how we interact with our environment. Being clear about this is essential so as not to assume that insecurities arise on their own in isolation, as if they are part of one’s essence.

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