Many of the complaints psychologists make to people going to the clinic refer to “the injustice that made my partner leave me,” the injustice of seeing how “the job was for another person and not for me ”or thinks that“ there is no right for so and so to behave like this with me ”.
Injustices: a painful reality with which to live
They abound in our daily life these types of reflections that lead us to value what happens to us in terms of justiceAs if the personal development and happiness of each of us could be measured in our perception of the just and unfair facts that happen to us. And it is that some of the most renowned authors in the world of psychology (Albert Ellis, Wayne Dyer) told us a few years ago how the so-called “justice trap” works and have already told us that it functions as a cognitive distortion or, in other words, as a thinking error.
The so-called error of justice consists of the tendency to regard as unfair anything that does not correspond to personal desires. By this kind of thinking, we consider that anything that does not correspond to our way of seeing things is unfair.
Reformulating our perception of injustices
And in this assessment of injustice established, many are immobilized, pinched by frustration and resorting to the internal dialogue of complaint and laziness in which when all you get is sadness, despair …
At this point, it doesn’t make much sense to change the way we look at it, if it’s part of the premise that “it’s not fair that this place doesn’t mine with what I’ve been studying” and we repeat it with each failure call to take my exam, are we promoting a solution to our problem ?, are we generating a constructive dialogue with ourselves and aiming to improve the aspects necessary to pass this exam? No! We are just complaining! And this complaint can fulfill its short-term therapeutic function as a relief, however. when we normalize it and establish it, here is the problem…
5 strategies for dealing with injustices
Studying a lot on an exam or getting along well with others may not be the passport to unfairly perceiving not getting a vacancy or a bad reaction from a friend. These are realities that just happen and we cannot have it 100% under control.
What alternatives could we stir up?
1. Differentiate what I want from what I want. which is unfair
Wanting something with all our might no longer allows you to have it. This reality would have certain implications in our inner dialogue, it would therefore be appropriate to replace “is an injustice” by “is a pity” or by a “I prefer”.
2. Things can turn out differently as we would like
Work with our unfulfilled goals as an excuse to improve and not use them against us. If wanting something makes you fight and work for it, complaining about the injustice of not achieving it and tormenting it in this way takes you away from your goal.
3. Others have the right to present opinions different from mine
Why do we so often try to change the opinions of others? We should free ourselves from the yoke of one thought and that we would encourage everyone to think what they want on any subject. Self-centeredness will not help us.
4. Choose to act so as not to observe and analyze
When we stop at analyzing what’s going on and don’t get out of here, we get stuck. Committing to action will lead us to choose what we want, If you need your partner to change something ‘ask him !, If you want that place of opposition’ study and keep trying!
5. Stop seeking fairness in our relationships with others
If I choose to get along with someone and be generous I can’t repeatedly get frustrated when others don’t act the way I would like toWhen we look for that fair distribution of “I give you” and “you must give me”, we get lost along the way. If I choose to be generous, I must keep in mind that it is a personal choice and that it is my responsibility to decide whether to change my attitude with this person or to stay as I am.
Thoughts and possible conclusions
Above all of the above, It should be noted that to get out of the slavery of perceived injustice, we can only do so if we regain prominence in our lives. and we stop comparing ourselves to others all the time.
Given the reality around us, in which even the judges themselves do not have a unique and objective view of what is right and wrong, why insist on wasting time in bringing justice to those around us?