6 keys to fighting self-sabotage and achieving goals

Throughout their lives, all people have at some point tried to change their life. This change can be a personal change, such as quitting or a professional change, such as working for a promotion.

However, it is a fact that change is scary and that fear of stepping out of our comfort zone can cause us to truncate our attempts at success. Dodging these attempts is not easy but throughout this article they are shown several keys to fight against self-sabotage.

    Why does self-sabotage appear?

    There are a number of reasons why people end up interfering, more or less subconsciously, in their path to success or towards the achievement of any goal or objective.

    Usually the reasons why this tends to happen they are related to the concept of self. In other words, with the opinion that the person has of himself. This opinion is born and shapes throughout life, so changing it is complicated, but not impossible.

    This self-concept is configured from the first years of a person’s life. It is therefore essential that the child receives messages of support and safety during childhood, because the opinion that he forms about his capacities during this period will accompany him practically for the rest of his life.

      The importance of self-concept

      It is common for people who, during their childhood and adolescence they will develop a great self-perception of failure or mediocrity have a harder time achieving their goals or dreams. However, this self-perception can be transformed and reversed if the person is willing to do so.

      Considering all of the above, the main condition for ending self-sabotage is that the person is aware of the beliefs they have about themselves and ideas about their identity that have been repeated throughout. his life. That way, you can start modifying it so that it doesn’t interfere with your path to success.

      There are hundreds of ways to sabotage yourself, from small, practically unconscious behaviors to meaningful behaviors with which the person he knows in advance that he is thwarting his attempts to achieve something. Some of the most recognizable manifestations of a person’s self-sabotage are:

      • Use the lack of time as an excuse not to do what he wants but that scares him.
      • Continually prioritize tasks that are less relevant or with less feared consequences.
      • Replace with immediate reward behaviors so as not to face the problem.

      How to fight against self-sabotage?

      As mentioned above, the first step in combating self-sabotage is that the person recognizes that there are a number of harmful beliefs in them and that they sabotage their attempts at progress.

      We should also be aware that while there are hundreds of circumstances that can condition our success or failure, the person himself is responsible for his decisions and especially of those decisions which end up becoming self-sabotage.

      Once these beliefs are recognized and with the appropriate motivation to change them, the person can now begin to adopt a number of good habits that prevent him from falling into self-sabotage. Some of these habits are:

      1. Be convinced that it is possible

      As discussed throughout the article, beliefs about ourselves determine our perception of everything we do. That way, if we believe in advance that we will not achieve something or think that we will not be up to par, it will surely happen eventually.

      So the first step to avoiding self-sabotage is to start changing our beliefs and gradually start to believe that we can.

      2. Work on motivation

      Most of the time, people fail to see their plans or aspirations come true because they lack the techniques or skills to work and develop their motivation. So many good intentions or big ideas don’t show up just because motivation and commitment has waned along the way.

      Here are some tips to stay motivated, remind you why we started a project and get involved:

      • Start a project journal that describes what you want to achieve; write down aspirations, goals and how we feel while we make it.
      • Explain our project to a few trusted people. If they are externalized, our aspirations become more tangible and, moreover, our commitment to them will increase.
      • Develop an action plan. Many times we have failed in our attempts to achieve a goal simply not knowing exactly what steps to take. To avoid this and avoid the fear of the unknown, it is best to write a short script that shows us the different steps or steps to follow.

      3. Take it slow

      It doesn’t matter how motivated a person is to start a project if they are starting very intensely or trying to achieve huge goals. you are very likely to tire more easily, Or even that you experience feelings of frustration at not being able to reach them.

      Since big things don’t get done in a short period of time, the best option for achieving a big goal is to break it down into smaller, more accessible goals. Likewise, these small goals have the benefit of improving our efficiency and changing our self-image, improving the negative beliefs we have about ourselves.

      4. Know that it will not be an easy path

      Knowing that both the path we must take and the changes in our lives that it may bring will not be easy it prepares us to be able to face them more effectively.

      Changes involve leaving our comfort zone and facing new, unfamiliar situations, so if we are aware of this discomfort and mentalize ourselves to stand firm despite it, we will find ourselves much closer to success.

        5. Find a balance

        One of the most effective techniques for dealing with major changes in our lives is to try and maintain stability both mentally, physically and emotionally. If we manage to keep the balance in these three planes, we will be much calmer and we will eliminate any interference that can affect the development of our projects.

        It is true that it does not happen overnight, but through effort and tenacity we can achieve it. If our mind is in order, if we are providing energy to our body and if we are maintaining emotional stability, achieving our goals will be much easier and lighter.

        6. Know the outside influences

        Our social background, our family environment and our friends can have a big influence on us, and it doesn’t have to be always good. Often our attempts to change or achieve a goal fail because our environment limits them.

        For example, a person who wants to quit smoking will have a much harder time quitting if there are people who smoke in one of their environments such as work or friends.

        This way, if we know what these limitations or obstacles are that we can find, it will be much easier for us to avoid them. A good way to integrate them is make a list of possible obstacles so we can meet along the way.

        Marta Torres, psychologist and coach

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