We have all, at some point in our lives, experienced great disappointment or immense sadness, of those who have been crawling for a long time, who seem to never end.
The popular saying goes that time heals everything. In this article we will reflect on what is true in this sentence that goes by word of mouth when someone is going through a bad time.
While it is true that time helps us see things differently and that we can grow as people, we must also do our part to overcome adverse situations that arise in everyday life.
Does time help, but is it about leaving the bad times behind?
People are flesh and blood but we have feelings, and throughout our lives, we experience traumatic events that mark us and, in some cases, allow us to grow. But growing up is a process in which we ourselves have to work. We have to learn from the experiences that happen to us.
While time can be a great ally, it is not enough to let days, weeks and months pass by. The key is us and how we took advantage of these difficult experiences to make a leap as a people.
What does science say about the healing power of time?
The phrase “time heals everything” is extremely popular, which is why a group of scientists asked the question, “How true is this hypothesis?” In a study conducted by Arizona State University and published in the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science, researchers confirmed that time doesn’t really heal all wounds – sometimes the passage of time doesn’t minimize not the pain we feel or the sadness we feel.
And is talking about time as the only variable linked to emotional healing incorrect? The myth that time heals everything is debunked after this research, and that of “things will get better soon” may sound like good advice in theory, but not in practice. Believing that time will heal everything can lead a person to passively expect the best by magic, and in reality, time only makes sense if an individual takes active action to regain their well-being.
To assume that time heals everything is to leave your future and your happiness to chance or luck, and as any personal development expert would say, happiness depends on oneself (at least in large part). Saying that time heals everything is dangerous because it doesn’t make you a critical person or because you need to improve the areas of your life that need to be improved. It is to sit down and wait, it is to wait for the improvement to happen on its own. In short, it is to make the pain and suffering last. True healing requires self-awareness, self-acceptance, and hard work.
What does science say about the evil of love?
Love is one of the most rewarding experiences, but it can also cause great suffering. When someone is going through a stage of lack of love, it is common for them to think that over time they will get better.
Over time it is possible to be well, but that does not mean that time is the reason for healing. In fact, if we don’t do something to improve ourselves, we can live long with the loved one in mind, sometimes longer than expected. Being heartbroken (referring to lack of love) causes a lot of physical health problems for people. For example, heart problems, as evidenced by studies from the University of Aberdeen or funded by the British Heart Foundation, which investigated 52 patients, aged 28 to 87, for four months.
This study showed that people who have broken their souls suffer from a condition called “broken heart syndrome”, which changes the structure of the left ventricle located in the vital organ. Despite overcoming the lack of love, the physical symptoms persist for the rest of their lives.
Tips for overcoming emotional pain
Human beings experience emotions and not all are positive. At some point in our lives we can end up having a bad time. But overcoming tough stages can help us grow and become better people.
In the following lines, we present some tips that can help you overcome emotional pain and regain mental well-being.
1. Acknowledge emotional pain and be aware
The first step in overcoming emotional pain is to be aware of it. If we are not aware, there is little we can do about it. It may sound simple, but the society we live in makes us believe that having a bad time is weak. Nothing could be further from the truth, because feeling pain can help us overcome it.
2. Treat yourself to compassion
People tend to be hard on ourselves when we’re having a hard time. but the best alternative in these cases is to treat ourselves with affection and to accept that people are in pain.
3. Take your time, but live in the present
Time, as we mentioned, is not everything to overcome bad times in life. However, we have to let this happen, because if we seek our personal development and acquire coping tools, over time we will feel better. Letting time pass is good, but you have to live in the moment.
When you are having a bad time, you may think bad things are happening to you, or you may think you are worthless. These thoughts will only invite you to enter a negative spiral from which it will be difficult for you to come out. Find realistic goals and activities that appeal to you. In short, seek the meaning of your life and strengthen yourself in the face of life.
- If you want to know more, you can read our article: “The 10 Keys to Dealing With Emotional Pain”