Emotional management: 10 keys to controlling your emotions

Managing emotions or managing emotions means being aware of the emotions we feel, accepting them and regulating them as necessary.

Unfortunately, we live in a society that considers emotions irrational and they are practically enemies of reason. But the truth is, emotions are part of us and have an important adaptive function. So we have to learn to accept them and get along as best we can.

    Emotional management and emotional intelligence

    In recent years, the concept of emotional management has gained ground with the rise of emotional intelligence, a concept that has generated a lot of interest among psychologists for its benefits for the psychological health of people and their performance in different fields, such as employment, sports or academics.

    A good management of emotions conditions more or less success in different areas of our life, such as interpersonal relationships or work.

    What is emotional intelligence

    Emotional intelligence is a concept popularized by Daniel Goleman, a renowned American psychologist, who brought emotional intelligence to the world with his bestseller: Emotional Intelligence (1995).

    In reality, however, the idea of ​​emotional intelligence has already appeared in the literature thanks to other authors, and derives from Howard Gardner’s theory of multiple intelligences. Gardner, after his research, concluded that there are different types of intelligences, including intrapersonal intelligence and interpersonal intelligence. Both are part of emotional intelligence.

      Research has confirmed that emotional intelligence helps

      • Improve self-knowledge and emotions
      • Make better decisions

      • Improve work performance and productivity
      • Reduces and protects against stress, anxiety and depression
      • Encourage interpersonal relationships and empathy
      • Improve personal development
      • Improve the capacity for influence and leadership
      • Promote psychological well-being
      • Increase motivation and help achieve goals
      • sleep better

      Strategies for controlling emotions

      Emotional intelligence is a process that includes both our own emotional knowledge and the emotions of others and the regulation of our own emotions.

      But how did we get there? Then we offer you ten strategies to achieve this.

      1. Keep an emotional journal and be aware of it

      The Emotions Journal is a great tool for learning about your own emotions. and know their effect on your behavior. There are different ways to do this, but here we offer one. Just follow these steps.

      • Take a notebook and write down the day
      • Take 20 minutes before bed to take stock of your day
      • Note those emotions that arose
      • Write down how you felt and how that emotion affected your behavior

      Emotional self-knowledge is the start of correct management of emotions. Without knowing what we are feeling and how it affects us, we will not be able to regulate our emotions.

      2. Accept yourself as you are

      Perhaps in this personal discovery there are aspects of your life that you don’t like or that you find difficult to see as positive. But you have to accept yourself as you are. Emotions are normal and we all feel them. We can all be wrong because it’s part of life.

      3. Focus on positive thoughts and control negative thoughts

      Negative emotions cause great discomfort, so we tend to avoid them.. But the solution is not to look elsewhere and pretend they don’t exist. If you’ve already done any work of detecting the emotions you’re feeling, analyze them and let go. Focus on the emotions of the positive and negative, give them the value they deserve, but don’t recreate them. Now is the time to remind yourself how much you love yourself and how hard you are going to strive to achieve the love of your life: yourself.

      4. Have a positive attitude

      And to get there you have to do your part. In emotional management, there is one component that we often overlook: it is willpower. To control emotions we have to do our part and we have to have a positive attitude because it is not always easy to control emotions.

      5. Retire on time

      but of course positive attitude is only part of emotional management. Emotions often arise because an external stimulus triggers them. If you intend to specialize in the art of emotional intelligence, you will find that sometimes the best alternative is to stay out of the conflict zone and make the decision to retire on time. For example, if someone teases you. In these cases, turning around and leaving is an emotionally intelligent decision.

      6. Learn to adapt to criticism

      Maybe what makes you feel bad is not knowing how to cope with criticism and paying too much attention to what other people think of you. It’s a bad choice because emotional well-being is born in oneself, From your own interpretation of the world. Learning to adapt criticism is necessary to be an emotionally balanced person.

        7. Release the tension with sport

        If you want to be calmer, you can release the tension through exercise.. In fact, playing sports is one of the healthiest alternatives not only physically, but also psychologically. Exercise helps you, for example, to reduce stress or increase your self-esteem.

        • If you want to know more about the benefits of exercise, you can read our article: “The 10 Psychological Benefits of Exercise”

        8. Attend an emotional management workshop

        One of the best ways to become an emotionally intelligent person is through training.. There are many classes and workshops that will help you deal with your emotions. These are usually experiential workshops with lots of participatory dynamics, so the emotional learning will be fun.

        9. Practice active listening

        If you want to better understand other people’s emotions, you can practice active listening.. Often times, we hear and don’t listen, because we pay more attention to what we are saying than what the other person is telling us in both their verbal and non-verbal language. Active listening is listening in its entirety, because verbal language makes up about 30% of what we communicate. The rest is non-verbal language.

        10. Practice mindfulness

        Mindfulness is one of the most useful strategies for dealing with emotions better. Mindfulness is actually a philosophy, but currently different techniques are used to put it into practice. Mindfulness is simple, because it only requires adopting a way of evaluating events, characterized, for example, by self-compassion, mindfulness in the present moment, or a non-judgmental state of mind. However, even if it is simple, its practice requires will and effort, so it is not easy and must be practiced.

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