Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it

the emotional validation it is a process of learning, understanding and expressing acceptance of the emotional experience of another individual or of oneself (emotional self-validation). The opposite of emotional validation is “emotional invalidation,” which refers to the rejection, ignorance or judgment of another person’s emotional experience.

Validation of emotions it improves interpersonal relationships as the other person feels understood, Recognized and promotes increased verbalization of what the other thinks and feels, because the latter feels heard. This leads to an increase in trust between the two and lays the foundation for creating a good relationship.

Acceptance, empathy and expression of emotional validation

the acceptance it is an option offered to us to resolve conflicts, especially in interpersonal relationships. In this setting, emotional validation is a way to communicate acceptance to others (or to ourselves), but that doesn’t mean that we agree or share the other person’s thoughts. Validating is accepting and taking for granted what another person feels, whether or not we agree with their point of view or their feelings. Therefore, emotional validation is empathy and acceptance towards another individual.

On the other hand, while it’s common to judge or criticize what other people think if we don’t agree with them, we often don’t show that we disagree. It’s not emotional validation either. emotional validation offers opportunities for emotional expression. Validation is not just about accepting emotions, but that acceptance needs to be communicated to the other person.

Tips for improving emotional validation

Learning to properly validate emotions can take practice. Validating an emotion involves making explicit the emotion that we believe the person has (for example, does this make you feel …?) And implies that the other person feels understood, valued and accepted. Here are some tips to improve emotional validation.

1. Be present

There are many ways to be present, but in the world we live in, we are not always. Being mindful (or mindful) is the first step towards emotional validation. Some strategies to achieve this are: take the person talking to us by the hand and listen to what he says, Or use active listening. Mindfulness training can be helpful in learning to be in the present moment.

2. Listen and think

the objective thinking it’s about doing an objective summary of what the other person told you. But not all summaries are true, but after active listening (paying attention to your reactions and emotions), reflection allows you to learn and understand more deeply by seeing situations from different angles.

Difficult questions will even help you question your own beliefs about the world. But to do objective thinking, you need to have knowledge about emotional intelligence, as it can also help you understand, label, and regulate emotions. to separate these from cultural thoughts and impositions.

3. Understand the reaction of others

Many times, we let ourselves be carried away by the intensity of the emotions and we do not stop to think about the cause in the reaction of others. Understanding what the other person is feeling or thinking is fundamental. Each individual’s capacity for emotional intelligence is different, but it can be learned. Although we cannot read minds, we can try to find out what caused the other person to act in this way.

To understand another person’s reaction, you can encourage them to speak through carefully selected questions and phrases that let them know that you understand how they are feeling and that you are ready to listen and listen. talk about. For example, “I think you were offended by the comment I just made”.

4. Understand the situation

It is important have knowledge of the other’s culture and background. Therefore, reading emotions implies that with a few elements a hypothesis can be made about their emotional reaction. This assumption needs to be communicated to the other person so that they can express to us if we are right.

For example, with a person who has been bitten by a dog, you might say “because of what happened to you with a dog a few years ago, I understand that you don’t want my dog ​​to approach you”.

5. Normalize emotions

Understand emotional reactions such as the normal thing helps everyone. For an emotionally sensitive person, knowing that most people can feel the same way in the same situation is beneficial. For example, “I understand that you can be anxious or nervous. Talking to the public can be a difficult situation the first time around.”

6. Be open to the emotional experience of the other.

Acceptance and open mind towards the emotional experience of the other will be positive for any interpersonal relationship. Regardless of the emotion the other person feels, it is their emotion and it should be respected. It is important to make room for all the emotions, already they all have a meaning.

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