Emotionally immature people: 5 traits they have in common

It is clear that not everyone grows and develops at the same rate. However, while physical development depends primarily on genes and diet and in most cases progresses without our having to worry about it, with psychological and emotional development something different happens.

Our skills and abilities to manage emotions and build relationships with others do not depend on automatic biological processes, but on how we learn to interact with the environment (and with the people in it). ).

This means that people who don’t care about downplaying their emotional and social skills get stuck before they reach adulthood or soon after. In these cases, we can speak of emotionally immature adults..

How are people emotionally immature?

Emotionally immature people are deeply immature, not appearances.

Playing video games, being a fan of animated films, or enjoying the spontaneity of certain situations does not tell us anything about a person’s level of maturity; it only expresses personal tastes. But other patterns of behavior if they tell us to what extent an adult’s way of experiencing emotions he has become stagnant in a juvenile or near adolescent stage.

In short, an emotionally immature person is characterized by not regulating their emotions according to long term goals that include the well-being of others.

Outraged, it’s a trait that affects all facets of your life; one cannot speak of emotionally immature adults, for example, in the case of artists who express their feelings in a one-sided and explosive manner specifically through forms of artistic representation.

However, this definition may seem too abstract, so let’s get to the main ones. characteristics of this type of adults.

1. They don’t make any commitments

Emotionally immature adults they systematically avoid commitments. This means that they don’t do it based on an analysis of the costs and benefits of making a deal with someone, but, by default, don’t even consider accomplishing a number of tasks. and responsibilities to do good to others.

Making commitments would involve finding a balance between at least two people who, as they feel different and experience different things, must create a stability agreement for the relationship to move forward.

But emotionally immature adults are characterized because their appreciation of emotions is limited to their own, with little regard for those of others. Therefore, as a compromise it can only exist when there is a certain symmetry between the importance of one’s own emotions and those of othersFor these people, it makes no sense to do this.

After all, when you only pay attention to how you feel, the only conclusion that can be drawn is that those feelings always change unexpectedly and you can’t anticipate what’s going to happen.

    2. They are egocentric

    One of the characteristics of boys and girls is that although their behavior is often interpreted as “naturally good” and kind, it is based on egocentricity.

    But this is not moral egocentrism, but cognitive. The idea of ​​coming to imagine the mental world of others is a challenge that often goes unfulfilled and involves putting a lot of effort into thinking about what is going on in the minds of others. This ability will improve as parts of the brain become better interconnected through areas of white matter.

    Emotionally immature adults have brains sufficiently developed to put themselves in other people’s shoes, but by inertia, they did not get used to using this ability. In many cases, they just don’t need to do this in order to enjoy an acceptable level of well-being, and therefore maintain a self-centered personality.

    So thinking about the best interests of others will be the exception, not the norm, in this class of people.

    3. They live at arm’s length

    One would expect a self-centered, individualistic person to be independent, but paradoxically, this characteristic is not satisfied in the case of emotionally immature adults. If they can live on the margins of commitments, it is precisely because they have a social or family environment that protects them from having to weave social relationships mediated by empathy.

    Sometimes this type of protection offered by relatives or friends is toxic and unsatisfactory even for these people, as it acts as a very large comfort zone from which it is difficult to step outside to experience intense sensations.

    However, this social “bubble” persists, despite its mistakes, because it produces dependency: Once you gain strength, it’s hard to break this type of relationship dynamic because it would involve making many drastic decisions at once and you usually don’t know where to start.

      4. Blame others for their mistakes

      The coping strategies of these people are generally very poor, which means that they avoid the possibility of examining their own mistakes. To do this, nothing like an easy and immediate solution: blame others for your mistakes.

      Through this kind of action, emotionally immature adults can afford to go on living without having to look back and put effort into stopping fulfilling their immediate desires in favor of avoiding having more problems at home. ‘to come up.

      5. They show financial irresponsibility

      Emotionally immature people they live for and for impulsiveness. This, brought to the domestic economy, means that they manage their expenses very badly. For example, it is possible to spend a lot of money on dinners while accumulating debt.

      In some ways, this behavior resembles people who are addicted to substances, although the impulsivity of the substances is due to neurochemical changes in their brains that make them think only of consuming the substance in question, while emotionally immature adults are impulsive in general.

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