Feeling resentment can be a seemingly uplifting experience because for some people it is something that adds meaning to life. Feeling despised, deceived or outraged by someone makes, for example, a reason to channel efforts by showing that person that “he could not with us”, that even if he was successful, he continued. as if nothing. This is why those who feel this sometimes do not realize that they have a problem.
The truth is that stopping resentment is a much better option to continue in this mental state, as we will see. It just doesn’t make sense to base a significant part of life on it.
How do you stop feeling resentful and move on?
Before understanding why it is helpful to give advice on how to stop feeling resentful, it is important to better understand why it is important to leave behind this tendency to constantly bring up past experiences that we resent.
First, although harboring resentment towards someone it can provide some motivation In some contexts, it should also be considered that by feeling this sensation, there also arises a discomfort that arises from often thinking about something bad that has happened to us in the past. It’s already psychologically painful, and it can also help us take a perspective on ourselves and on life that is too pessimistic to adjust to reality.
Second, the motivation you can provide doesn’t have to be strong enough to compensate damage to self-esteem that usually occurs when these past grievances are recalled. But also, if it ultimately leads us to achieve a goal, the feeling is usually not that of triumph, because in the end it is based only on the imagination that in a symbolic sense we have overcome which has hurt us. means a lot in more rational terms; this person was special only for the pain he made us feel, but once his figure demystified, what remains?
Here are some tips on how to stop feeling resentful. Keep in mind that for them to work you need to apply them to your daily habits, not just think about them.
1. Take a distant perspective
Virtually any life experience can be viewed from a more subjective perspective, on the one hand, or more distant, calm and rational. Of course, it’s not possible to spend your whole life experiencing things as the crow flies, as if everything had happened to someone else. But sometimes opting for it at certain times is very helpful in regulating emotions.
2. If possible, contact this person.
Many times everything is settled by dialogue. Even if the reason we feel resentment is part of a deliberate hostile action towards us, it is very possible that in the present moment the person who hurt us will repent.
So it is worth creating the possibility that the resentment will go away on its own with nothing to hold on to, whether there is reconciliation or an honest apology.
3. Redirect frustrations
There are those who do not feel resentment for a particular person, but for an abstract collective, or even for society in general. Therefore, in these cases it is necessary to think about the real reasons why this feeling exists and to make sure that one’s own discomfort is not attributed to something that it only exists in our imagination.
4. Manage your attention well
It’s not about being distracted, but realizing that if we were constantly thinking about all the bad things that were going on, we would never get out of bed, but that wouldn’t give us a deep understanding of what it is. the world. We have little time and resources, so you need to know recognize the existence of good and evil.
Sometimes this vital pessimism is maintained because we think that even if it doesn’t make us feel good, it at least gives a real glimpse of what’s going on. Realizing that this is wrong is important in releasing this dynamic of negative thinking.
5. Strengthen your friendships
If the intensity of negative thoughts towards one or more people is greater than the feelings of affection we have for othersIt’s easy to just focus on the first one. That’s why being on the side of friends and loved ones in general makes it even less logical to hold onto resentment. People who feel good have neither the time nor the reason to make this state of mind one of the pillars of their daily life.