In numerous Psychology and Mind articles, we have emphasized the importance of making life an exciting place to travel based on goals and objectives that keep us awake and active.
Not that we are fans of positive psychology, but we are very clear that one of the keys to happiness is precisely having the ability to continue to improve day by day.
To improve as a person: it is possible … and necessary
Make no mistake: to live is to try to surpass yourself day after day. In fact, it is often said that happiness is nothing other than the antechamber of it, that is, we are happy when we are about to achieve certain goals and objectives that we set ourselves. Happiness is not, in and of itself, a goal that we should set for ourselves – because – happiness – is rather a state of mind that accompanies us when we feel motivated to do things that we love, to spend time. with people who make us feel good, and a long etc.
The problem is, many people have burdens and responsibilities that anchor us in a gray daily life that does not motivate us enough to want to improve as people. Furthermore, we live heavily influenced by whatever has been instilled in us, and we often subconsciously act to the detriment of others, and we deceive ourselves into believing that for some reason we are doing the right thing.
Forced to be happy?
In a very interesting article, the Valencian psychologist Álvaro Saval spoke about a kind of social imperative that has taken shape over the last decade: the obligation to be (or to be like) happy people. Of course, the company traces a notion of happiness very closely linked to material success. This material success (having a good job, a good car, expensive trips …) can do us a disservice when it comes to trying to have a life that allows us to improve as a person. human beings and to serve our most genuine interests.
Happiness should not be an obligation but a natural consequence of living according to what we want to do and be, Discover our true passions and devote ourselves body and soul to them. To be better people, and therefore more connected to our environment, we need to practice and train ourselves.
5 keys to improving as a person (and being happier)
and I propose 5 keys to developing the skills you need to improve as a person, Slowly and without pause. Do you dare to try?
1. Be grateful and generous
There are a number of values that have an instant effect on the people around us. Perhaps the two most important are generosity and gratitude. When we are generous, kind and grateful to someone we meet on the street or to a close relative, we have created a good rapport that affects not only how others appreciate us, but also how we perceive ourselves. It does us good to be kind to others because, after all, we are empathetic beings.
In addition, gratitude paves the way for us to overcome certain trauma, anxiety and stress, helps us clear negative thoughts from our mind, and strengthens our self-image.
A good way to develop gratitude and kindness is to do selfless acts, that is, to do well without expecting to receive anything in return. This may be shocking in a cultural system based on commercial and self-interested transactions, but much research in psychology points out that support is linked to well-being, health, and longer life expectancy. It’s not about becoming Mary Teresa of Calcutta overnight, but if we start to place importance on selfless acts, it is very likely that we will feel more fulfilled and have a better emotional balance.
To channel this advice, we can choose to volunteer … or just be kind and then go about our day, with the people we live with or cross the street.
2. Anyone who has a friend has a treasure
Who has a friend does not know what he has. In a society where we pay less and less attention to each other, having one or more trusted people with whom to share unique moments is of great value to our happiness and to being better people. Of course, I am not referring to the “friends” that we may have on social networks like Facebook or others, but to real friends, those who count on the fingers of one hand and who stay.
True friends arise in the most unimaginable situations and contexts. We must be aware of the importance of caring about friendships to generate that dynamism that brings us joint projects with a colleague, or those endless conversations where we talk about anything.
One of the main causes of depression is loneliness. Living far from human treatment plunges us into a gray and monotonous reality, and therefore distances us from happiness and motivation. If you think you don’t need anyone to be happy, you’re probably trying to go wrong, because that’s not what science (and common sense) is telling us. Maintaining friendships also takes effort and selflessness many times, but it’s worth it.
3. Live life with optimism
Yes, a cliché. But it’s still true. People who are not optimistic are neither better nor worse than anyone, but subconsciously, they forge a reality that is boring, static and reluctant to joy. Because? There is nothing that is more demotivating than not having a positive view of the possibilities that we, as a person, have in life.
be pessimistic not only is it a way to boycott yourself, but a highway to mediocrity. This is why we must say no to pessimism and recharge our batteries with a good dose of optimism, even if at the beginning we are not 100% convinced. If positive psychology has some recognition, it is precisely because it has thoroughly studied the wonderful effects of being an optimistic and enthusiastic person.
Optimism should be a philosophy of life to move forward and infect those around us with good vibes. We need to be able to devote our energies to whatever we have control over, and if we see that something is slipping away from us, we can always turn to people for help and a helping hand. If we are facing a complicated or even fatal event, such as the death of a family member, it is normal for us to collapse but we must always think that better times will come when that bad time will only be remembered for. a contingency of life.
4. Relativize the importance of material goods
In another text published on this site, we echoed a study which notes that money does not give happiness. It may sound obvious, but there are people who still believe that if they accumulate more money and wealth, like cars or houses, they will be happier. Well, everything indicates that they are wrong. Science has shown that beyond a threshold in which we live well, earning more money has nothing to do with the degree of happiness.
Relying on our well-being and happiness in material things is a way to achieve the opposite effect, a permanent unhappiness, because we will continue to want to accumulate more and more and we will never be satisfied with what we have. And that’s because, after all, the good times in life aren’t the ones you share with a convertible car or a high-tech smartphone, but with other people who make you feel special.
When we ask ourselves what really motivates us in this life, almost all of us respond with very little importance to the material aspects. It doesn’t motivate us to be rich or have the best watch or tech gadget. It motivates us to feel good about ourselves, to travel, to surround ourselves with sincere people and to make us feel unique..
So why do we insist on the pursuit of material? Human ambition has this flaw, which prioritizes tangible rewards over the intangible things of everyday life. But we must constantly remind ourselves of what we want to accomplish in life and what we really value. Only then will we take a step forward and be better people than before.
5. Spend time on the things you love to do
We have given brushstrokes throughout the article on the importance of dedicating time and effort to activities and people that really make us feel good. It’s pretty hard to be happy if we don’t spend time on the things that motivate us, right?
Obviously, not all of us get the chance to work on something we’re passionate about or have enough free time to fill that need, which makes us better people. To do this, it is important to organize yourself well and build bridges towards self-efficacy. In other words, we must set ourselves small goals to improve ourselves gradually, and thus stay motivated and attached to this hobby that we love so much.
Of course, sometimes it is difficult to become very good at what you do. For example, I am a fan of chess and I play a few games every day, but I know it would be very unrealistic to think that in 5 or 10 years I will be as good as Gari Kasparov. The small goals we set for ourselves (as in my case could be to play at least two games a day) they must serve us to move forward and stay active, motivated by the process and not by the result. In the end, playing chess, like any other hobby, is a pleasure in itself and that does not prevent him from losing because he loses a few games against players better than me. We prioritize the pleasure of learning to finalist questions.
In the workplace, most people are somewhat dissatisfied with the tasks they perform or the treatment they receive from their superiors. It’s natural and it’s not bad that we complain every now and then, however there are things we can do to make the routine much more enjoyable. Begin, for example, to do without friendly and jovial treatment with employees, to create a climate of closeness and cooperation.
In short, to be happy and be better people, we need to develop habits that motivate us and keep us active. If we are happy with what we are doing, others will notice it.