How to control your emotions, with 11 effective strategies

Emotional control (or emotional regulation) is essential when we relate to other people and is part of emotional intelligence.

Therefore, controlling emotions is part of emotional management, and to regulate them, we must understand them, understand them and make them aware. It is impossible to control emotions if we do not master the skill of emotional self-knowledge.

Emotional intelligence: a paradigm of current psychology

Emotions are part of us, and although they are necessary and adaptive, they can cause us pain.. Suffering is often caused by our negative evaluation of it, because trying to fight it is not a wise decision. It is much healthier to understand them, to know them, to know that they are there, but to accept them as part of our existence and our experience, knowing that they are often not what we would like them to be. they are.

Emotional intelligence has become one of the most important paradigms in modern psychology because, at the end of the day, we are emotional beings. Although we think we make our decisions for reason, studies indicate that most of our decisions are emotional.

How to improve emotional control

Most of the success and rise of emotional intelligence (EI) is determined by its benefits.. Well, EI is used in different fields: sports, education and business because it has a positive effect on performance, decision making and getting results. But in the clinical and psychotherapeutic field, it is also essential, because it helps us to relate to others and to improve our psychological well-being and our quality of life.

If you want to know how to improve emotional control, you can find 11 strategies really useful for increasing knowledge of this very important skill.

1. Understand your emotions

Take the time to think about how you are feeling and why you react a certain way in certain situations. You might be worried about the way you behaved at work this week, calling a coworker, and now you regret it. Maybe the problem wasn’t that big, but it got out of hand, so you don’t stop for a moment to think about the real problem. Likewise, the underlying problem is that you feel stressed at work because you don’t manage time well.

One strategy for understanding your emotions is to have an emotional journal. To use it, just sit in front of it, 10 to 20 minutes before going to bed. You can review the day and write down how you felt, why you felt this way, and what you could have done to improve it. Maybe the next time you’re in this situation, you’ve already learned not to behave this way.

2. Practice active listening

It can also happen that you just get upset that you are not listening properly, in other words, you just heard. Many people have a habit of paying little attention to others, and when they speak they are already thinking about what they want to say.

Active listening is important in interacting with others because it allows you to pay attention not only to what other interlocutors are saying in their own words, But also with what they express with their body language. In fact, scientific studies claim that verbal language makes up only 30% of what we communicate. The rest is non-verbal language.

3. Exercise

Exercise is a good way to relieve stress and release tension that can cause us frustrating and tense situations. Something that is not at all positive for emotional control. Additionally, exercise helps us release related positive mood neurochemicals, such as endorphins or serotonin. Therefore, their practice also has a positive effect on our self-esteem.

4. Don’t take criticism lightly

Learn to adapt to criticism as it can cause you to lose your roles and give way to your anger.. Paying too much attention to what others are saying about you is a symptom that you don’t have enough self-confidence and haven’t found the inner peace you need to control your emotions. So iron out the problem when you receive criticism, at least if you want to be an emotionally balanced person.

5. Work on self-acceptance

One of the big problems is not accepting yourself for who you are, Do you adopt a defensive mindset, nothing beneficial for emotional control. We can all be wrong because it’s part of life, so you have to love the way you are. This way, you will feel less frustrated and have more patience with the conflicts that may arise in your daily interpersonal relationships.

6. Adopt an optimistic attitude

In addition to working on your self-acceptance, you need to have a positive outlook on life, which will make you more resilient and less likely to have interpersonal conflicts. Both for self-acceptance and for having a positive and optimistic attitude towards life, one must have the willIn other words, do your part to make it happen.

7. Think about the good things and not the bad

The discomfort that makes us feel certain emotions is what makes us want to avoid them. However, in order to solve the problems, you have to face them, because there is no point in looking elsewhere. If you’ve been working on emotional self-knowledge and self-acceptance, you need to let go of those negative emotions. Now it’s up to you to focus on the positive aspects and your stress level will be drastically reduced..

8. Retire at the right time

It is good to have a positive attitude in the face of conflict and to think about the right things, although sometimes the stimulus can stay there no matter how much we try to avoid it, because it is not always up to us. For example, if we talk to each other and end up fighting. In these cases, it is better to turn around and leave.

9. No sudden reaction

You may have noticed that the conflict is in full swing and that there is a strength within you that prompts you to take a step forward without worrying about the consequences of this moment (although later you may regret it). Have a little patience, take a deep breath and no sudden reactions. If necessary, leave the room, take some air and come back as with a clear and renewed mind.

10. Practice mindfulness

Mindfulness is an age-old practice that is very popular today because of its benefits: it improves concentration, reduces stress, improves self-awareness, etc. This method helps you to be in the present moment, with a non-judgmental state of mind and with an attitude of compassion towards yourself and others. Certainly a very important tool for controlling emotions.

He takes emotional intelligence courses

If you are interested in taking a workshop on emotional intelligence, the Mensalus Institute offers the possibility of training that will help you to develop the skills and abilities necessary to become an emotionally intelligent person. This psychotherapy and psychology training center offers these workshops in person and remotely, so you can do them from anywhere in the world, from the comfort of your own home (or wherever you want).

Specifically, the “Emotional Intelligence Training Online Course” enables you to learn about and implement key strategies for dealing with thoughts and emotions. This option makes it easier to live an experience similar to face-to-face training but with the advantages offered by distance learning. You will have a tutor who will keep track of the practical tasks you have developed and the different webinars you can be a part of. This training action starts on February 5, 2018, costs 380 € and lasts 10 weeks (the material will be available on the virtual campus up to 8 weeks after the end of the course). For more information, you can contact the Mensalus Institute via this link.

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