Of all the sensations that make up the broad human emotional spectrum, anger is perhaps the most feared emotion.
Many associate it with violence, both physical and verbal, as well as high physiological stress that can develop into heart problems, muscle problems and broken teeth.
Although in appropriate doses rabies is an adaptive thing, it is true that if you do not know how to control it, it can lead to many problems. That’s why a lot of people, especially the more irascible, wonder … How to deal with anger? In this article, we will see some answers.
Anger: what is it for?
Like all other emotions, anger has an adaptive function. It is an emotion that prepares us for struggle and defense, makes us face injustices and predisposes us to defend ourselves. Each episode of anger can be experienced with a different intensity, depending on the personality of the person and what caused the feeling to appear.
Culturally, in the Western world, feelings of anger and sadness have been viewed as a negative thing, despite their obvious evolutionary benefit. Sectors such as school, work and family have promoted a culture of “silence and perseverance”. Saving your feelings is never good, especially if they corrode you inside.
However, sometimes anger can be expressed sharply and in a very destructive way, making the situation that brought it about and making those who express it suffer very bad consequences from excessive anger.
How to deal with anger?
Always adaptive, anger is an emotion that, if not properly managed, can have serious repercussions both on those who express it and on those around them. When it accumulates in excess, rationality and self-control can be completely lost., To be able to say something that is not pleasant or even to attack people. This is why it is important to learn how to manage it correctly:
1. Accept the emotion
When you feel angry, “fighting” with her is not the answer, as it helps you feel more frustrated and make that emotion stronger.
Accepting that you feel angry is the first step in learning how to deal with it. It is very important to understand that as long as you do not have a serious disorder, everyone is responsible for their own emotions.
2. Identify who or what you are talking to
Sometimes we get mad at ourselves for doing something wrong, at others, at others for something they told us, and sometimes at an object.
Whatever this feeling is for, it is very important to know how to identify itUnderstand why you are in this situation and what it has to do with us getting angry.
It helps to ask yourself questions like who am I angry with ?, Did he really do something wrong? Is it worth it to put up with this? Can I do something to change this? What are the consequences of showing my anger?
3. Talk about it
Anger can block us, make us unable to do things, paralyze us.
As much as possible, we can try to verbalize how we feel, especially towards that person with whom we got angry. You have to try to express your emotions confidently.
Other times it is simply impossible because we are unable to articulate a single word. It is in these situations that it becomes very useful to write a letter where we detail how we feel and what we think about that made us angry.
Anything can be said, even using bad words, because after writing down everything we’re feeling and having calmed down, it’s as easy as grabbing the letter and “breaking” that rage.
But be careful, because giving too many turns to the subject who caused all the rage can do exactly the opposite to that of the advice given here.
4. Anger as a motor of creation
A lot of people can only see the destructive side of anger, but what if we turn it into the exact opposite?
Whether it’s with markers, pencils, waxes or tempera and brushes, they all allow us to express our feelings in an artistic way, and, who knows, maybe even to discover a new hobby.
Although feelings such as anger, rage, and anger are usually depicted in warm colors, such as red, each can give it a different color. Pick the color that you think best suits your anger and shape it onto a piece of paper or canvas.
When you’re done, ask yourself how you feel, are you still angry? Have you calmed down a bit? Are you better?
5. Physical exercise
Anger is an emotion that makes us feel tense, like we’re a pressure cooker about to explode.
A good way to channel and release these energies is through sports, especially boxing, wrestling, taekwondo or other contact sports. Other, equally good options are weight lifting and aerobic sports, such as cycling and running..
After a good moderate to high intensity workout, we will feel relaxed and calm, not wanting to fight with anyone, just because there is no physical strength left for it.
6. Yoga and mindfulness
Meditation, especially the most scientifically studied techniques such as mindfulness, it has been shown to be effective in calming the mind.
It is difficult to enter a state of deep reflection and calm when one is in the midst of an attack of rage; however, if an effort is made every day and meditation becomes a habit, it can involve many improvements on a general level.
A person who performs this type of activity is often much calmer and in a similar state to what they do after high intensity exercise.
Yoga also serves and, in fact, stretching the muscles and getting into postures in which flexibility is worked out performs a similar function to lifting weights in terms of mood.
Giving and receiving hugs can be seen as someone wanting to stop a bullet by putting a flower in the barrel of the gun. however, that someone hugs us can be like a kind of “ emotional lightning rod ”.
It is as if our “electricity” is transmitted through the arms of the person who kisses us and brought to the ground so that it disappears as if lightning has fallen to the ground. It only takes a few seconds to allay a huge fury.
8. Think before you speak
It’s something that seems obvious, but how many people, angry, haven’t said or done something they shouldn’t do and then regret it?
Thinking about things before doing them and saying them can help prevent things from happening any further, especially if our potential victim will be a loved one or a valued object.
Taking a deep breath as you think about what you are going to say and do can mean a big step forward. to, first of all, calm down and, second, to avoid committing a little of what one feels terribly later
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- Mostofsky, E., Penner, EA, Mittleman, MA (2014). Outbursts of anger as a trigger of acute cardiovascular events: systematic review and meta-analysis. European Journal of the Heart; DOI: 10.1093 / eurheartj / ehu033