During a stage as important as our partner’s wedding, it is common for last-minute doubts to arise; doubts that make us reflect and rethink whether to continue or not.
Sometimes it is expensive to know how to emotionally manage this tendency to question the step that one will take by marrying someone, and sometimes it leads to a dynamic of self-sabotage. And the simple fact of reinforcing the idea that we can be wrong is enough to generate what is called a self-fulfilling prophecy: our perception of this relationship as a couple is clouded by pessimism and anxiety, so that the marriage becomes, indeed, an option with many positive points.
Therefore, in this article we will deepen the topic of how to deal emotionally with doubts before getting married.
Tips for overcoming doubts before getting married
Although we are all different people and worry about different things, these are the main points that can raise doubts before getting married.
1. Give yourself time to reflect without judging us
Giving yourself some time to think about the idea of getting married alone is a great way to assess whether to take the plunge or whether it is better to wait a bit or reject the idea. This does not necessarily mean postponing the wedding day, but rather rearranging our agenda or calendar so that we can have time to just think about it.
Moreover, we must frequently remind ourselves that we owe no one a marriage; Everyone has the right to think carefully before taking this important step. We must not give in to the feeling of guilt, because it is result of social pressure.
2. Analyze our values and life projects
When it comes to dealing with emotional doubts before marriage, it is important to always have a reference on the ideas on which to rely to evaluate the pros and cons.
And in this sense, A good starting point is a list of our values and priorities regarding life projects. It should be a list of relatively abstract concepts, but which can be embodied in a few words. We shouldn’t expect everyone to be compatible with marriage to this person, but we should opt for the majority to be compatible, or at least readjustable to this new marital lifestyle.
3. Assess personality compatibility
Lasting couples generally reinforce their commitment to values such as mutual affection, trust and the compatibility of the personalities, character and way of being of the two members of the couple.
Thinking about our compatibility with the person we are going to marry is a good way to know if our relationship will last. This means analyze in depth if we have similar personalities or ways of being or if they complement each other.
Having a personality complementary to that of your partner means that there is good chemistry with the other person and that between the two members the relationship is fluid, positive and in which relational dynamics conducive to the creation of a common future.
4. Write the reasons why we are with our partner
A good exercise to overcome the doubts we may have when deciding if we want to get married is to write on a piece of paper all the reasons why we are and want to be with our partner.
We can therefore express y know the motivations that make us want to be with this person and valuing the positive elements for those we would like to embark on a lasting marriage.
5. Improve communication
As in any interpersonal relationship, communication is also another essential element for a marriage to last over time.
Evaluating if we have a good level of communication with the person we are going to marry is another of the reflections that we must do beforehand in our internal environment, with the aim of knowing if we will have a successful relationship in the future.
Couples with good communication skills usually talk about any problem that may arise on a daily basis and they have greater efficiency when solving them. On the contrary, a low level of communication generally leads to more problems and daily conflicts in the couple.
6. Evaluate the dynamics put into practice in difficult times
Considering how our couple functions in times of greatest difficulty is also necessary to decide whether the relationship would work in a hypothetical long-term marriage.
Couple relationships are strengthened in adversity, when they should be more united, and it is in these moments that the social and communication strategies available to each member of the couple are put to the test.
A couple that does not work well in adverse situations or who does not know how to function in difficult times will hardly succeed and will last in the future.
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