We are all exposed to the same situation of confinement, and undergo roughly the same stressors: fear of contracting the disease, uncertainty about the next steps, limitation of freedom in our movements, combining telework with household chores. the work is multiplied.
Likewise, there are people who have lost their jobs, and others are currently facing one of the hardest times of their life, having lost a loved one during this time, without being able to accompany or fire them. .
Although we all suffer, more or less, from the same situation, there are people who “coexist” better with this period of adversity and they have more adaptability, so they suffer a little less emotionally.
Other people find it more difficult to cope with the uncertainty of a possible infection, they have more negative thoughts about not being able to go out, pessimism about having to adapt to another way of working or not. not see their loved ones. For that, they will settle into obsessive thought loops and reactively experience more intense negative emotions and they will even somatize, developing important physical responses to these emotions (insomnia, headaches, muscle contractures, stomach knot, chest pressure, urge to cry, decreased or increased appetite, etc.).
And what does it depend on that some of us wear it better and others worse? Because of our resilience.
Foundations of Resilience: Coping with Adversity
What exactly is resilience? In psychology, resilience is the ability to cope with and come out of a complicated situation strengthened. In other words, accept the situation, deal with it, learn a little from it, and “bring” something positive to yourself.
From the above, it seems appropriate to maintain a generally resilient attitude, and at this point in our life it seems essential. The problem, as we said, is that not all of us have this ability.
Studies show that resilience is a capacity that comes “standard” in some people, and that comes naturally to them, through the education they have received, through the role models they have experienced in their childhood, and so on. however, other people have more difficulty facing adversity, showing more pessimism and frustration, Getting carried away, not taking responsibility for personal care and emotional well-being, and settling into the complaint, waiting for the problem to be resolved by others.
The good news is that resilience is a ‘trainable’ ability, And maybe now is the right time (not to say the best) to find out how to do it.
How to train resilience?
To be resilient, it is important to consider the following guidelines.
1. Focus on the present
First, it is better to focus on the present. If we start to think about the past, that is, what we did before childbirth (if I shake someone’s hand, if I used public transport, etc.) or if we anticipate the future (and if it infects me, and what the economic crisis will be like) … the only thing we will achieve is worry more, because we have no control on the past or the future.
All we can do is focus on the present, paying special attention to the positive things. around us: it went a bit well at work, I shared a beautiful moment with my children, I was able to resolve a discussion with my partner, today the weather is nice and I can go out for a bit on the balcony or in the window, enjoy a good dinner, etc.
2. Accept the limits of our control of the situation
It is also important accept that there are variables that we do not control, which do not depend on us. Resilience involves knowing how to identify and be responsible for how much control we have. For example, I control that I do not see the news at night, so I sleep more peacefully and do not have nightmares, or I control the implementation of safety measures when I go shopping.
3. Improve communication skills
It is also shown that the most resilient people are those who have learned to communicate with others in an assertive way, Express what they think, but also share their most intimate emotions, to be able to let off steam with people you trust.
Knowing how to deal with conflict, both with the people we live with and with the people we communicate with online, is a good prognostic factor for being resilient and sustaining this situation with fewer open fronts.
4. Don’t take root in pessimism and resentment
On the other hand, one thing that works in our favor for resilience is not settling the complaint. If we complain about this all day long, being a monotheme, the only thing we get is to increase our level of “bad emotional roll”. In other words, we cause more negative emotions.
To evacuate, as I said before, yes; settle for a constant complaint, no. Relief relieves me, complaining increases emotional distress.
5. Change our habits
And finally, to be more resilient and better adapt to our daily lives, we must transform our habits. To do this, we must promote our creativity. We have invented spaces where we can work from home, with family, “snacks” with friends, everyone from home thanks to a screen, new crafts for our children, games on social networks, etc.
In short, by creating new ways of working on a daily basis, we will adapt more quickly to this new way of life (no matter how long) and we will be more resilient, more resilient.
Although it is a very complicated situation for everyone, being more resilient will allow us to better manage the difficulties that arise, to manage our emotions, to have more “emotional battery” and to endure this situation with more energy. energy.