In certain contexts of life, many people feel a desire to forget about certain people who were important to them in the past.
Breaks, mourning process, layoffs … Everyone can have their reasons feeling scared of painful memoriesBut the truth is, sometimes it’s good to take action when faced with this form of discomfort.
In this article we will review some psychological clues on how to forget someone, Although it is not final and simply obeys the desire to feel better in a bad time.
How to forget someone?
Once we meet a person, this information is processed subconsciously by our higher mental processes.
Face, voice, skin color, etc. person and these are more and more the characteristics that we memorize. Knowing someone is a time consuming process, and forgetting someone is too.
The term “forgetting someone” refers to a state of overcoming reached. when a person’s memory no longer affects us negatively. Let’s see how this can be achieved.
1. Take a more realistic perspective
See things as they really happen and not as we would like them to be. Avoid denial, face reality as it is, even if you don’t like it right now. This will save you wasting time and energy trying to change something you can’t. This is one of the best tips for forgetting someone who is struggling to come to terms with how their life has changed lately.
2. Don’t cling to the past
He understands that time is constantly moving, which means that circumstances can change from moment to moment; we have to adapt to change. The stubbornness to keep things the same is irrational and foolish.
3. Avoid repressing our emotions
We don’t have to be silent about how we feel. In fact, expressing our emotions goes a long way in forgetting someone. We have to give ourselves the opportunity to say how we feel. We can talk to a good friend, or go to therapy, if necessary.
4. Take back your old hobbies
Taking the time to reconnect with ourselves is essential when we are trying to forget someone. Doing activities that made us happy is a good way to do it; it helps focus our minds on us and is a way to avoid intrusive thoughts.
5. Give us the opportunity to meet new people
When the time comes, once we’ve taken the time to reconnect with ourselves, it’s good to interact with new people. Give the opportunity to meet someone and enjoy the process. Not all men are the same, nor are women …
6. Avoid the state of anxiety
Just because we’ve failed in the past doesn’t mean the same has to happen in the future. Bad experiences teach us; the ideal is to feed on it to achieve what aspects of our personality should we work on to become stronger in the face of adversity.
We must not think that we will hurt in the future, because it does not have to be so.
7. Avoid unnecessary contact
This refers to intentionally decrease the likelihood of having information about the person we want to forget. Avoid calls, texts, “accidental” meetings … it is even advisable to remove the person from social networks so as not to run into their updates.
8. Get rid of privacy with this person
The closer we are to the person we want to forget, the closer we will be to them. It includes both physical and emotional intimacy. Avoiding having long and deep conversations with this person is a goal that we must achieve.
Sleeping with someone you want to forget is counterproductive for both sexes, but it is especially damaging for women. Physical intimacy causes women to produce oxytocin, a hormone that triggers feelings of connection and affection.
9. Keep all memories out of sight.
Although we have managed to sever the ties of contact with the person we wish to forget, we will find it particularly difficult to do this if we have objects in visible places in our home that recall that person’s memory, For example letters, birthday gifts, etc. …
The best is to keep these things out of sight. They should not be thrown in the trash, just store them in a place where they are not exposed to our eyes.
10. Understand that everything is ephemeral
This step is fundamentally important for our goal, and it is that if we can change the way we think about social relations, we will also facilitate the management of natural processes in society.
Forgetting is a natural part of social life. Since nothing lasts forever, we can enjoy our relationships in healthy ways, rejoice in the good times, and deal with the bad. If it’s time to say goodbye, we can do it with our heads held high, knowing that there will always be new people, new experiences.
Depending on our personality traits, some steps to forgetting someone may become easier for us than for others; we must be able to identify it and take a particular interest in those which complicate us.
- Dudai, Y. (2006). “Reconsolidation: the advantage of refocusing”. Current opinion in neurobiology. 16 (2): 174-178.
- LeDoux, JE (2007) Consolidation: challenging the traditional view. In: Roediger, HL, Dudai, Y. and Fitzpatrick SM, eds. Memory science: concepts. New York: Oxford University Press, pp. 171–175.