Much of our daily life is based on communication. We could not have the quality of life standards that we have without the fact that we live in society. However, sometimes we forget that we also need to add something to this formula. For communication to flow, it is important to learn to really listen.
After all, we all know how to stay still while the other person is talking, but really getting involved in a conversation requires the ability to stay active even when the other person is speaking.
In this article, we will focus on reviewing different tips on how to learn to listen in the conversations we have with friends, family and loved ones in general.
Tips for learning to listen
Being good at listening to the rest is a virtue that is underestimated in many ways. But if it is mastered, it makes us much better able to bond with others. And remember that the quality and quantity of any bond is something that defines our quality of life. Few people usually like to deal with someone who ignores them while talking.
So, consider the following tips when applying them to the conversations you participate in, even if in practice they look more like a monologue than a dialogue (There are times when a person needs to let off steam and be heard). Keep in mind that reading the remaining ideas is not enough; you will have to apply them on a daily basis constantly to get used to them and adapt them to the characteristics of your life.
1. Love the other person’s needs
For starters, it’s good to keep an eye on the other person’s non-verbal language and what they are saying between the lines. the needs that drive her to speak. Are you looking to be heard to explain a fact that had a strong emotional impact on her? Or do you just want to explain something because we’re using that information to do something?
Depending on these needs, our participation in the conversation should be based more on listening, or listening and speaking.
2. Maintain eye contact
Maintaining eye contact is one of the key aspects of any face-to-face conversation. If this rule is not followed, it not only creates a feeling of estrangement from the person with whom we are communicating; in addition, even misunderstandings can arise and misinterpretation of the other’s thoughts and intentions.
So even if you are not speaking, look the other person in the eye. If for some reason it costs you, out of shyness or lack of habit, just look in the direction of her face. If you do this, without obsessing over eye contact, it will surely come out naturally and after a season of using this technique you won’t have to think about it anymore.
3. Don’t take it as a break
Listening is nothing less than speaking; it is also or more important, in fact. So don’t take these times as moments of rest where you can do whatever you want. Because if you do, you’re just going to say what you want to say and then log out, stop paying attention, and focus on fantasy songs, mentally humming, or remembering experiences. On a few occasions when the other person realizes that you aren’t paying attention, he can stop trying to talk to you.
4. Practice active listening
You don’t just have to pay attention to what the other person is telling you. Also, you need to let them know that you are paying attention. In this way, the other person will be encouraged to talk as much as they want, without feeling an alibi, and real communication will flow.
To achieve this, be sure to pace the conversation by nodding your head and clearly showing your reactions to what the other person is saying (with gestures or exclamations). You can also provide brief comments on what the other person is communicating, but without making them too long to be an interruption. The idea is to complement each other’s efforts explain yourself with your own efforts when communicating what we think about what you are saying.
5. Ask any questions you may have
A conversation is always dynamic, largely improvised. Therefore, you can also help make it meaningful, even in the role of a listener, by asking simple questions or asking for clarification.
This way information omissions will be compensated in which our interlocutor can fall simply for not having planned what he was going to say, at the same time to show interest or even to facilitate the appearance of moments when doubts arise that no one had thought of before and that ‘they help to look at the subject from another angle.