Many people suffer from insecurity issues. Feeling that you are not up to the task, that everyone is capable of improving but that you do not have enough skills, etc. Dealing with this type of self-sabotage is not easy, but getting it is usually very well done as it makes it easier to resolve various issues that arise from it.
In this article we will review some basic tips to overcome insecurity by making changes in daily habits.
How insecurities arise
Like virtually everything in psychology, insecurity has multiple causes, although there are several that are very common. Basically it is about a distorted view of one’s own abilities, From an extremely pessimistic point of view, which generates an effect of self-fulfilling prophecy.
In other words, having very low expectations of what you are capable of doing makes initiatives even less exciting. Over time, this perception that one remains in a state of stagnation leads to heightened insecurities and low self-esteem.
The idea that much of this monotony and lack of vital stages achieved is due to the fact that oneself stay in the comfort zone it does not take on sufficient importance for the perception of our own faults to determine how we think about ourselves.
On the other hand, personal relationships are one of the areas of life where insecurities are most visible. Something as simple as adopting non-verbal language that denotes insecurity produces the effect that others treat us consistently, so that in every conversation and social interaction, the message is captured that, indeed , there are reasons not to feel safe. It is a vicious circle which over time comes to engender a dogma, a belief that is not even questioned: we are worth less than the others.
How to overcome insecurity in everyday life
Below are several ideas from which you can start to gradually build your self-esteem. Keep in mind that just reading will not solve an insecurity problem, but it is done by introducing different habits into daily life, which we will talk about in the following lines.
However, it is important to keep in mind that the goal is not to eliminate insecurities, but to overcome them; in other words that is to say, prevent them from significantly harming one’s own well-being, Or that they are obstacles to develop all the personal potential on which one relies.
1. Write down your strengths and insecurities
Even the most insecure people are able to recognize certain things that, compared to the rest of their skill repertoire, they do well. Therefore, a good place to start is to write down a list of weaknesses and another of personal strengths. It is important that these are valued not by comparing us with others, but by comparing with each other the physical and psychological characteristics that belong to oneself.
This step will do two things. On the one hand, it is a starting point that it helps to focus more on the good you have, And on the other hand, if this is done with a certain periodicity, it allows to have information on how the insecurities themselves evolve.
2. Review the tendencies to paranoia
Many people base their insecurity on almost paranoid thoughts, constantly speculating on supposed intentions to hurt or laugh at us that others are hiding behind an appearance of normalcy. Therefore, it is positive to spend about five minutes, at the end of the day, looking back and assess whether you have fallen into such thoughts in an unwarranted manner.
3. Ask others for space
Changes must not only happen in themselves, but the social environment must also change. After all, when you are not safe, others can have a tendency to make hurtful evaluations out loud, even without the direct intention of causing harm, just because they see that type of criticism is what you are doing. the other person thinks for himself. Where others silence certain opinions so as not to spend the day criticizing the person they are talking to, this regulation of what is said decreases in the face of those with low self-esteem.
It is therefore good to express directly that certain comments are superfluous because they are inappropriate. The best thing about these situations is that the other person, in most cases, will stop trying to maintain a dominant position in the conversation if they are someone who cares about us, and will immediately see his error. On another side, it’s a self-assertion exercise which helps build self-esteem by simply seeing that this type of complaint is accepted by the other, indicating that many of the criticisms received day to day are unfounded.
4. Don’t compare yourself to strangers
With the rise of social media, it’s extremely easy to portray what you are not. One in which only the positive comes out and the negative is ignored. This is something that facilitates the emergence of insecurities, because on some digital platforms idealization is the norm.
So, whenever you are assaulted by a thought based on your own inferiority over others that is basically known through Facebook, Instagram or whatever, remember that it is a mirage. There is no reason to think that this person is perfect, even almost perfect, and if there is a lot of reason to believe that the image we have of this “other” is very distorted.
5. Exercise and eat well
The best thing about this directive is that it is based on repeating relatively simple patterns of behavior. Seeing how you are progressing physically over a few months is very motivating and helps improve self-esteem.