Whatever our intentions and interests, our emotions always condition our behavior. But while we cannot take full control of our emotional side, we can modulate the way it is expressed. And this is particularly important when what happens to us is linked to so-called negative emotions, which are those linked to psychological distress.
Knowing how to express emotional pain in a way appropriate to our lives and personal relationships it is therefore very important, because if this task is neglected, moments of crisis can aggravate the problems in which we are involved. Uncontrolled outbursts of anger, unwarranted hostility, the adoption of crippling defeatism … These are psychological states that can sink us even more if we don’t deal with them well.
Why it’s important to express emotional pain in a healthy way
If there’s one thing we humans fail when it comes to dealing with our emotions, it’s trying to deny what makes us feel bad. Whatever we do, we will always have experiences that make us suffer, And trying to show that they haven’t happened or that they aren’t affecting us isn’t something that helps; on the contrary.
If we try to deny or omit what makes us feel bad, it is more likely that at the least opportune moment it will cause us to act in ways that are unforeseen and hard to control. Emotions always make their way through our actions and the way we express ourselves, and we are better prepared to modulate, albeit somewhat, those moments when our emotional facet takes control.
So if we find ways to channel the emotions related to psychological distress, we can prevent them from being misinterpreted or causing more pain to others.
How to properly modulate and express emotional pain
In order to get your emotions out of psychological pain, the following tips can help.
1. Talk to a loved one
Being able to match your own ideas about how you feel with what other people think about those ideas helps a lot.
On the one hand, it allows us to verbally express what we feel, and all of this in a safe environment in which we feel supported. On the other hand, it allows us to put into perspective the importance of certain facts that cause us emotional pain. And it is that, seen from a more serene and distant point of view, certain events lose their dramatic power and we are able to face them in a more constructive way. Having a second or third opinion can detect these ideas based on excessive pessimism.
2. Relieve tension in a controlled manner: play sports
There are painful emotions that lead us to a state of constant tension and alertness. To be able to express its effects in a correct and healthy way, there is nothing like playing sports. If we exercise our muscles, some of this “overload” of energy will be invested in those tasks that require us to have good control of our attentional focus. After these sessions, the emotional pain may still be there, although we will no longer experience a feeling of alarm.
3. Explain what is happening to you
You should consider reporting the rest of what happens to you so that they know how to interpret certain unusual behaviors on your part.
Just having this information handy will prevent you from facing these situations (improvising a ‘report’ on exactly what happens to you when you experience the consequences of this discomfort is uncomfortable and you may prefer to be not to do it, happened the case).
4. Avoid hot discussions
When we are in full pain from the effects of emotional pain, it is no time to argue. When faced with any indication that conflict situations may arise, it is worth leaving the discussion another time. Also, it’s good to say explicitly that you’re postponing this conversation just for that. Especially in these situations, honesty is a value to uphold.
5. Use relaxation techniques
Intervening in physiological processes can significantly reduce anxiety. By doing this, we act on one of the fundamental aspects of behavior and mental state felt, because the decrease in anxiety creates a chain reaction that will generally be beneficial.
6. Write a journal
Keeping track of how you feel on a daily basis will help you better understand what happens to you when you express that emotional pain. Re-reading these pages will facilitate constructive work to resolve the underlying problem., Either by modifying things in your environment, or by working on your emotions and your philosophy of life.
7. Be careful with food
Overeating is a common trap that many people fall into when they are going through difficult times or are anxious. Food offers an immediate reward. a feeling of pleasure that allows you to hide for a short time what you would like to forget. The best possible tip is therefore to take very systematic control over what you eat and not expose yourself to temptations. For example, you are literally a long way from the most addicting food.
8. Remember that no one has the absolute truth
One thing that helps a lot in expressing emotional pain in a healthy way is being aware that you don’t have the absolute truth about what is going on. That means anger, sadness or feeling of defeat these are not elements that are there, existing independently of us, as if they were realities that we know and nothing else. We not only know them, but we create them as well.