“I’m clear on what would do me good in my life right now but … really, why can’t I implement them in my life? Why not do it knowing it’s best for me?”
Many times we have failed to initiate a change we purposely want to make. We thought about it and even decided, but in the end none of that happens.
I want, I want, I want and I don’t want: how to get out of the loop?
It’s easy to talk about what we want to change, but actually implementing the changes is no easy task. Anyway, a lot of people understand it then, the question is, what can I do to make me one of these people too?
Here are some tips that can help you implement the changes you need in your life.
Starting to review this point is crucial because we don’t start implementing changes until we really commit to them.
What is compromise? Getting involved means being clear that it is important to you and above all willingly deciding that you will prioritize this in your life.
Making a change, no matter how small, involves effort and our mind doesn’t like it. The mind always goes into survival mode and returns to the known because it is easier. In other words, it has always tended to lead you to what it is used to because in the short term, it generates less effort and less energy expenditure.
You may not be able to commit because the discomfort is still bearable and that makes you delay the start of implementation. But … Should we wait until we can no longer act?
Committing to something definitely means for your mind (and for you) that from now on things will be different even if it takes a bit of effort and energy from the start.
Getting involved is the first step and one thing that can help us get involved and start taking action is knowing our intentions in depth. In other words, that is to say where we made the decision and where we want to implement things.
To do this, you can make a list of your reasons. Why make a change in this direction? Why is this something I want for myself?
Many times we find the reasons why going in a direction is good and practical for us, but putting it on paper helps us find clarity, motivation and greater commitment.
On another side, you have to connect with our inner self to know where we work from; Are we working from self-demand or from self-love? In other words, it is not the same thing to impose things on ourselves as if we are our sergeants and dictators to cede the changes of care to ourselves. For this, you can start to change the “should” to “I want”, “I would like”, “I decide”, “I give myself”, “I give myself the opportunity to …”
Values are the directions we take in our livesTherefore, they help us make decisions aligned with what is important to us.
In line with our intention and our why, reviewing our values can be of great help. What values do you have in your life? Do you take care of it? It could be that this point fails, you haven’t set your values, or the changes you want aren’t as aligned as you think. Work on deepening your values.
4. Definition of objectives
At this point, this is where many fail to define your goals and the next moves, we have to accept our starting point and adapt to it. Accept where you are now and here and, therefore, draw an action plan towards your goals.
Maybe one of the reasons you are unable to implement a change in your life is that you cannot adjust to reality. From perfectionism, you wish you were already at the point you want to achieve and that is why you get stuck, demotivated, and quickly give up. In other words, since you cannot start from an ideal, you decide directly not to follow, to give up or to think that it is not for you.
Many times we see this ideal so far that we procrastinate at the start or become disillusioned. because we feel that we are not up to the task. You are probably focusing too much on the end goal and finding it difficult to accept your gift, which won’t help you start implementing it.
We need to explore the starting point well. Where am i now from here, plan an action plan that gets you closer to your ideal.
Focus on your here and now. You don’t have to start with big things, just make small decisions to implement, decisions that don’t involve drastic change overnight, but gradually lead you to your goals. The changes are gradual, we must not forget that.
Many people forget that when something takes effort, it is important to know how to motivate yourself and more, to do it often. Each person is motivated in a certain way, so knowing each other is very useful..
Can we start by asking – What has helped motivate me on other occasions? And also by: what should I do to motivate myself now?
So learning to focus our attention on our why and the rewarding part of making that change for us is the secret.
Like I said at the start our mind will always try to take us to the known, it will create excuses and ways to avoid wasting energy by doing something different this time around. Therefore, getting attention and directing it towards what brings us positive change is a good way to learn to be motivated.
6. Compassion and learning to work without comparison
You are not going to make it perfect. The principles are sometimes hard so starting from a work of compassion towards oneself, of love for your person helps us to accompany us in our process. Sometimes it will come out better, others worse and nothing will happen. Always keep your intentions in mind and do not punish or harass yourself for not being where you would like to be yet or for failing from time to time, because this way it will be very difficult for you to persevere in change.
You are human and as such we all need our times, which can vary from person to person. Don’t compare yourself to others. No one is better or worse than you, it incorporates the fact that everyone is on the way, everyone has their experiences and everyone is only responsible for their own progress.
Finally I want to remind you that repetition is the key to change. Repeat what you want to implement over and over again until it becomes easy on your body and mind. And don’t forget to seek professional help if you need it.