We have all, at some point in our lives, wanted to change. Either because the couple left us and we were largely to blame, or because we were pursuing an academic career that wasn’t quite what we wanted.
Change is normal in humans and in nature, but it is not always easy. From these experiences it is quite normal and understandable to come to the following conclusion: “I want to change my life”.
Keys to changing lives
Changing or transforming is an individual process that begins in itself, therefore, we are the main drivers of our change. But it’s common for our own beliefs or fear of change to interfere with the life change we so much imagine.
If you are determined to change, in the following lines you will find the necessary steps to complete the change process.
1. Get to know yourself
On restart, the first step is to know each other. Know what your desires are, what qualities you have and what direction you want to take. The first step in change is self-reflection and self-knowledge.
2. Find a purpose in your life
Self-knowledge is the key to being able to determine what is the purpose of life. Having a vital goal is the key because it motivates us: it is the force which helps us to move and which animates our daily life. However, change is not just about visualizing the goal, but about enjoy the path while continuing.
3. Do it for yourself
To do this effectively, you need to connect with yourself, which is why knowing yourself inside out is so helpful. Because we often think that we want to change, but it is the opinion of others that influences us in such a way that we believe that what they impose on us is what we want. The goals to be pursued must be genuine, otherwise it will be difficult to change.
4. Open to change
The above point leads us to make the decision to change, and therefore we need to have a healthy dose of willpower. Being open to change means being ready to transform ourselves and to pursue goals with some effort.
5. Plan for change
Once we have a clear desire to change and know what we want to change, we need to plan for the change. If possible, write it down even on paper, as it is easier to visualize and allows for less effort to think when we need it. Hand set small sub-goals and date them.
6. But … set short-term goals
It is not only worth setting long term goals, but we also need to keep short term goals in mind as this is the only way to motivate us during the change process and not forget our commitment.
7. Get out of your comfort zone
The comfort zone is an intangible place where you feel protected and at ease, And stepping out of that realm requires us to strive to test mental patterns that, while seemingly adaptive, are not always.
8. Don’t be afraid of uncertainty
And this is it stepping out of the comfort zone can cause some degree of anxiety, In large part for fear of uncertainty. Not knowing what awaits us in the change can be frightening if we don’t have enough self-confidence or if we only visualize the negative consequences of the transformation. That’s why we have to put aside this irrational fear and try analyze risks calmly and analytically.
9. Know that ups and downs can happen
Accepting that we can fail is also positive. That doesn’t mean we have to give up if things don’t go the way we want, but we have to be prepared to push ourselves and get back up as soon as possible after a fall.
Knowing how to be motivated is also one of the keys to being able to change, and it is one of the best qualities that a person can have.
- If you want to know how, you can read this article: “The 10 Keys to Self-motivation”
11. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else
Change is an individual process: it is you who say “I want to change my life”, not someone else in a context very different from yours. That is why you should not compare yourself to others, but stay true to yourself and your desires and fight with all your might.
12. Blindly ignore the opinions of others
You also don’t have to consider all the opinions of others, because some people tend to project their own fears on you. If someone doesn’t have the will to change, they probably don’t think you can either.
13. Think about the reward
To stay motivated during the change process, it is important that you visualize the reward or the positive consequences of making the change. However, we must not forget that the transformation process is in itself a reward.
14. Do you love
It’s also important that you don’t be too hard on yourself and accept that things don’t go as planned. Of course, you can rectify and learn from failures. If you don’t empathize with yourself, who will?
15. Be realistic
The goals and objectives that we set for ourselves must always be realistic, otherwise we run the risk of encountering false expectations which can enter the process of change and lead to frustration, which is not only unpleasant but also frustrating. It takes away the urge to make an effort.
16. Challenge your limiting beliefs
Limiting beliefs are those irrational thoughts that won’t let us change and that they interfere with our individual growth. For example, “I can’t do this because I’m still unlucky”. Overcoming these kinds of thoughts is necessary so that you are not left halfway through change.
17. Take responsibility
Taking responsibility means taking responsibility for change. It is the ability to respond to events happening around us with sufficient capacity for self-leadership, which enables us to overcome adversity. You need to be clear that you are the person responsible for your decisions.
18. Let go of victimhood
The opposite of taking responsibility for change is of becoming the victim. While responsibility is action, victimization paralyzes.
19. Ask for help
Accept help from others if you think this urge to lend a hand is genuine. If no one of your friends or family is able to help you with certain things, you might want to consider hiring coaches, teachers, or coaches.
Coaches are experts in personal development and help people improve their self-knowledge, plan realistic goals, take responsibility for change and motivate themselves. Hiring a professional in this field can be helpful in maximizing your chances of transformation.
20. Don’t lose sight of the present
Keeping your feet on the ground is vital for the change process, that’s why it’s important to be here and now, Connected to oneself. It is good to keep change in mind, but to achieve change you have to work daily and remember where you are in everyday life.
21. Take the opportunity to learn
When things don’t go as planned it is necessary to learn from the experience and retake the courseIn other words, tie in with the change. Successful people are those who learn from failures and get up again and again after falling.
22. Practice the disaffection
Disaffection, understood as emotional release, is the key to the process of change. It doesn’t mean getting rid of the important people in our lives, but it does help us view things from a much more realistic and less emotional point of view.
- You can read more about disaffection in this article: “5 Laws of Disaffection to Be Emotionally Free”
23. Learn to deal with emotions
Over-motivation and lack of motivation can interfere with the change process, and while some may think that over-motivation is positive, it can cause us to have too high expectations in the process of change, which can lead to frustration. Being aware of our emotions and learning to deal with them is a determining factor in personal transformation.
To start again is to let go
In conclusion, we can underline the idea that in order to change, we must learn to make decisions, accept commitments and accept the idea that it is better to get rid of certain elements of our daily life.
In this way, personal development will be carried out effectively and there will be no demotivating and frustrating setbacks.