Becoming or being responsible for our actions is one of the first steps in the change process. A person will hardly be able to advance in the improvement or the solution of some of his problems without having a clear responsibility, without assuming his capacity to respond to what he does, feels and even thinks.
The importance of responsibility in personal development
People have a great capacity for change and adaptation to new ways of thinking, feeling and acting, and this is evidenced by the variations in these aspects that have occurred throughout everyone’s life.
However, if we do not take responsibility for our actions and resort to either “throwing balls” or the useful “I am like that”, which limit the path of change, progress or a change in habits becomes very complicated.
Also on a personal level, from children to the elderly, they happen substantial changes that go hand in hand with the awareness that we can act and influence things, Situations and our own way of driving.
It is curious to observe how the perception that children have of things changes; at the beginning, the events go by without more, and little by little the boy realizes that he makes them happen, he takes care of throwing a glass, bringing him food, asking for attention, making operate a toy, etc.
As you have more experiences with people and the environment, you increase your ability to do and choose what you do. It is therefore not uncommon for immaturity to be equated with irresponsibility.
The freedom to choose
Accountability has a fundamental and rarely stressed precondition. Freedom of choice.
The idea can be summed up in: I am responsible for what I choose because I could have chosen something else; the verb to choose implies responsibility and I can’t help but be responsible for my own life and most of the things I do to build it. “
Responsibility is not an obligation, it is to answer for what we did. That someone else pointed out, suggested, and even ordered me doesn’t deprive me of my freedom to choose and decide. Freedom of choice is experienced as a nice and pleasurable thing, but I can come to feel guilty about what I have chosen and it can weigh me down having to respond to that choice because most choices have consequences. ; negative, positive, or both. Responsibility does not deny the influence of different factors or variables in our behavior, it emphasizes the ability, sometimes with great effort, to choose despite these factors.
Wanting or pretending that someone takes charge of our choices is wanting to continue living as a child so that others choose for us. However, we cannot escape the idea that we are free and therefore responsible for everything we do.
It doesn’t matter whether we blame the laws, the environment, the environment, education, what they rule or influence us. We choose every moment of our game even if some choices are as quick and as automatic as the behaviors we adopt when we are driving or when we feel happy in the face of a pleasant meeting with a family member or a friend.
Self-limitations are choices. We are independent and set our own rules. I can change my choice because I am free. There are elections which open and others which close; I can choose to change what I don’t like, I can choose to stay in a habit that hurts me, I can choose to behave like a victim, I can change the way I communicate with others.
To be free is to choose to only be limited by my abilities and my physical form. Everything else depends on my choice.
Responsibility is the most important part of your commitment to a future free of misbehavior.. It involves standing up, recognizing what we have done or stopped doing, accepting your strengths and limitations, and moving forward. It has nothing to do with guilt but with acceptance and personal growth.
If you dare to take responsibility and change certain behaviors and beliefs, it may be time to start psychological therapy, but remember that responsibility does not imply guilt. Guilt anchors us in the past, we attack something that has been done and that paralyzes usIn other words, it is unnecessary and limiting; however, responsibility leads us to take responsibility for our actions and, in relation to what happens to us, to assume the part that depends on us, an essential factor in the success of psychotherapy.
Author: Marta Marín, psychologist at Mariva Psychologists