Self-acceptance means treating ourselves with affection and recognizing that we are precious and worthy of being loved and respected even if we are not perfect. In theory, it sounds easy, but it’s not.
We live in a highly competitive society, and self-acceptance often requires changing our thinking and re-educating ourselves.
Not accepting ourselves as we are is a barrier between us and our emotional well-being and growth, as it prevents us from facing life energetically and makes us succumb to difficult experiences and difficulties that we may encounter. Life has good times, but it also has difficult times and you have to accept them. If we don’t accept ourselves, we are our own worst enemy.
Self-acceptance is the path to inner peace
To accept yourself is to find inner peace, to find peace with yourself. It also allows you to come to terms with problems and accept them, because understanding that failures are human is healthy for your well-being. Self-acceptance is undoubtedly a victory in the ring of life.
- Recommended text: “70 Buddhist phrases to find inner peace”
When you don’t build your inner peace and self-acceptance is at the mercy of the situation, you’re more likely to swallow it. When a person does not accept himself, he will have problems at work, at school, with others and ultimately with life.
Self-acceptance is such a powerful tool that it is even used in psychotherapy. Third generation therapies, for example, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) or mindfulness, revolve around this concept.
Albert Ellis, one of the most influential psychologists in cognitive therapy and creator of Rational Emotional Behavioral Therapy (TREC), defined self-acceptance this way: “Self-acceptance refers to the fact that no one accepts himself in a full and unconditional way. , whether or not he behaves intelligently, rightly or wrongly, and whether or not others give him approval, respect and love. “
Tips for achieving self-acceptance
It is common to talk about forgiveness and whether or not we should forgive others. Forgiving others and living without resentment is good for our emotional health. And in fact, it is one of the most important factors in our interpersonal relationships. But can we forgive ourselves? Forgiving others can be tricky, but it’s even worse when it’s up to ourselves to forgive.
Forgiving and accepting yourself requires willpower. Therefore, below are some tips that can help you achieve this goal.
1. make a list of negative judgments about yourself and let go
The first step to ending negative thoughts about yourself is to educate them. Therefore, you have to detect what brings you the happiness of being yourself. You can do this with a thought journal. To do this, you need to detect these thoughts and write them down from self-acceptance and self-forgiveness, making a contract with yourself to let those thoughts go and forgive yourself for what you have done. This is achieved from a non-judgmental attitude.
One idea to achieve this is to write the following:
I release myself and let go of all the pain and guilt over ……. (fill in the blank). I am ready to forgive myself for what happened. I did my best. I forgive myself and everyone else involved. I’m not going to torture you for this anymore.
2. Learn to validate your emotions
When it comes to resolving interpersonal conflicts, acceptance, through emotional validation, is one of the best ways to do this. After all, certain prejudices and beliefs about our identity can cause us to falsely reject certain feelings, making us doubt and feel bad about what we are going through. We need an unprejudiced look at ourselves.
Emotional self-validation is all about accepting and validating what we feel, whether we agree or not.. Therefore, we don’t need anyone’s permission to accept our emotions, because we are giving ourselves permission. To validate our emotions, we must first know them, label them, and then accept them as they are, with an uncritical and uncritical attitude.
- If you want to go deeper into emotional validation, you can read our article: “Emotional validation: 6 basic tips to improve it”
3. Cultivate a good relationship with uncertainty
Cultivate an attitude of courage and be authentic. Take risks and don’t be afraid of uncertainty or vulnerability. Get out of your comfort zone. Many people are trapped in a spiral in which failure fuels the ‘I’m not good enough’ story.
Disconnect from that feeling of failure and negative feeling that is affecting your self-esteem and connect with the wise experience that not all of us are perfect and can fail. Get out of your comfort zone, take risks and the tomato life as a lifelong learning.
4. Don’t compare yourself to others
We often compare ourselves to others because we live in a society that rewards people with money and success. If we evaluate ourselves for money, property and professional success is not good, it is worse to compare ourselves to others. When we do this, anxiety comes over us and our self-esteem is affected.. We need to re-educate and stop thinking this way.
- You can get it by following the advice in this article: “Tips to stop thinking about what others think of you”
5. Learn to accept your imperfections
Stop being a perfectionist and stop thinking that you are unworthy of having blemishes. Perfectionism negatively affects our emotional balance. Instead, when you accept your imperfections and see them as normal, then they were free! You are free to feel the anxiety of being who you are and you no longer need to waste that mental energy on those thoughts which end up causing you great emotional fatigue.
6. Practice mindfulness
During the last years, Mindfulness is a practice that is becoming very popular in psychology.. Mindfulness is a way of life, although psychologists have adapted its principles and methods to therapeutic practice, aware of the great benefit it brings to mental health, to the point that it is used to treat cases of mild depression.
This philosophy is based on living the present experience in its entirety and proposes that we find the essence of who we are. This is achieved through self-acceptance, self-compassion, and a non-judgmental mindset.
Mindfulness allows us to be aware of the reality around us and helps us experience freedom, self-knowledge and acceptance. As a therapeutic tool, mindfulness makes us focus on the here and now, judging beliefs about the past for what they are, uncertain and imperfect ideas that may or may not be of use to us as appropriate. .