Because we are human beings, we have the privilege of going through many joyful and very exciting situations, but also sad situations; it turns out to be a part of life. The key is how we react to it.
Some people, when experiencing these feelings of sadness because of some incompetence, inability or failure they may have had or exhibited, tend to be abused internally, either because of their feelings, or because of the behaviors they may have. Others, on the other hand, tend to be understanding with themselves in the face of this situation, avoiding such treatment and, on the contrary, tend to be encouraged or understood in order to overcome the situation. In this sense, throughout this article we will tell you what is self-compassion and how to promote it.
What is self-pity?
We are clear that compassion is the feeling of sadness or unease that a person can experience when they see that a third party is suffering or suffering; it prompts the first person to relieve, remedy, or avoid that pain from which the other suffers. Therefore, we would understand that self-compassion has to do with the process by which the person achieves complain about an unfavorable case she had; these contexts may include failure, inadequacy, or general suffering.
In other words, self-compassion is the self-directed compassion a person can have, it involves being understanding and warm with oneself **reducing levels of self-criticism** when the person has failed or felt incompetent.
Compassionate people are aware of their personal well-being, are empathetic and sensitive to the discomfort of others, can tolerate discomfort without self-criticism, understand the origins of discomfort, and give warm treatment.
The beginnings of self-compassion in contemporary psychology
Self-compassion has its beginnings or principles in Buddhist psychology, as it has been studied and practiced for over 2600 years. Recently, contemporary psychology has shown an interest in including it in the field of research and clinic.
One of the earliest inclusions of self-compassion in the West occurred in the work of Sharon Salzberg in 1995, who highlighted it as one of the central elements of mindfulness. Kristin Neff is one of the leading researchers on self-pity.
In the West, this subject was developed taking into account elements of different Buddhist teachers who incorporated their practice in the West.
Components of self-compassion
For Kristin Neff, self-compassion has 3 components that are interrelated and can be trained to deal with adverse situations such as situations of emotional pain.
This first element has to do with this person treat yourself to care and compression.
2. Common humanity
The process of recognizing shared humanity has to do with recognition that others are going through suffering similar to their ownthat our problems are not punishments imposed on us alone, and that in the same way that we would help someone else, we deserve to be helped, and vice versa.
The process of mindfulness has to do with the ability to realize and be mindful acceptance of what is happening in the present.
How can we encourage self-pity?
Now that we know the key concepts of self-compassion, let’s see how we can encourage and practice it with ourselves to improve our physical and mental health.
1. Spend time with yourself
It’s important to have a safe time where we can meet, so we can focus on what we’re feeling or thinking. To be able to do it we must put aside all those technological devices that distract us with a constant bombardment of stimuli, action that will not allow us to focus on this activity; in the same way, we must look for a suitable space where it is easier for us to have this activity.
2. Be objective
Reforming our way of seeing things will allow us to have a new look at a problem or a situation. We all make mistakes throughout our lives, so you don’t have to be so hard on yourself. Foster objectivity in your way of thinking and seeing things, accompany themselves by drawing on the opinions and points of view of others to compare their points of viewas you would for a friend, family member or loved one when you are having a bad day or when things are not going well for you.
3. Stop the drama
It is essential to put aside the dramas that can be caused when going through an unfavorable situation; we must remember that self-compassion is about accepting what happened and the emotions we have at that time, without falling into “white or black” interpretations based on a binary bias.
4. Responsibility implemented
When it comes to learning from our mistakes and committing to correcting them, it increases our resilience in the face of adverse situations that may arise again. It is important to remember that self-compassion is also part of the self-improvement and self-improvement processes, so self-responsibility is essential.
5. Think hopefully and positively
Thinking favorably and hopefully is essential to continue living in a good mood. Likewise, it is important for fostering self-compassion within ourselves.
6. Connect with nature
It is strongly recommended and even therapeutic to spend time with oneself and with nature itself, leaving aside everything that can prevent us from carrying out this activity; natural environments they allow us to no longer be exposed to reminders of everything that worries us and it makes us feel bad because we tie it to our obligations, the actions we take and feel guilty about, etc.
The main benefits of self-pity
Coming to this subsection, it is necessary to ask ourselves the following questions: What would be the benefits we could have if we were compassionate with ourselves? How useful is this skill in developing our emotional intelligence? We will continue to answer these questions by explaining the benefits that practicing self-pity could bring.
Here are the top 5 benefits of self-compassion.
1. Foster and strengthen intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships
Through the practice of self-compassion, we can foster and strengthen our intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships. A person or individual who is possibly compassionate will exhibit a higher level of self-compassion for another person and for themselves.
2. Encourage patience and tolerance
Self-compassion gives us adequate levels of patience and tolerance with ourselves. We live in a time when society sometimes demands excessive competition and the rapid development of various knowledge and skills. sometimes it makes us lose our minds. However, we must remember that not all people are equal and we can move forward at our own pace.
3. Inner joy in difficult times
A person can change the way a reality is presented to him through his attitude. Self-compassion can help us think more favorably about an unfavorable situation. Although something negative may happen to us, we must prioritize the various opportunities we may have to try one activity or another, or focus our attention on the good we have in life, among others.
4. Introspective process:
self-compassion us also allows strengthen and improve the level of self-knowledge we possess. What we It will help us to be more thoughtful with ourselves and with others.
Psychological intervention applied to self-compassion
Self-compassion has been shown over time to be linked to our psychological health. Various therapeutic interventions have been implemented that seek to increase or increase self-compassion. Mainly, these programs have been implemented in patients with a strong tendency to self-criticism and also in people who do not necessarily have a clinical picture. Here are two therapeutic training programs to improve self-compassion.
Compassion-focused therapy is a supportive psychotherapeutic process for the treatment of high levels of self-criticism and shamequalities that are at the root of various psychological difficulties.
Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Program
The Mindfulness and Self-Compassion program proves to be a psychotherapeutic process consisting of 8 weeks of treatment, presents a clarified design to be able to cultivate the skills of mindfulness and self-compassion applied to daily life. This will allow you to manage difficult emotions well, which will bring greater psychological well-being.
- Araya, C., & Moncada, L. (2016). Self-compassion: origin, concept and preliminary evidence. Revista Argentina de Clínica Psicológica, 25 (1).
- Galve, JJG (2012). Review of the psychological concept of self-compassion. Naturist Medicine, 6 (1), 5-7.