Joan ended up with a girl he loves very much, but moments before the date he doesn’t feel very well and cancels it. Maria has started a new project which can mean a big change and a breakthrough in her life, but she never has time to finish it.
Many times people are involved in this type of dynamic. In some cases, the circumstances do not really favor it; but in most cases the main obstacle is the person himself, who for fear of future changes falls prey to self-sabotage. Let’s see what this phenomenon consists of.
What is self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage and all the behaviors related to it are unconscious acts that appear in the moments that can signify a big change in people’s lives of any kind. these behaviors they tend to hinder the achievement of goals or milestones through unconscious self-manipulation.
The purpose of self-sabotage is keep the person in their comfort zone, In which everything is easy or at least predictable. It is also a type of unconscious defense mechanism by which the person tries to avoid possible future suffering, stressful situations or unfamiliar situations.
There are many possible causes of self-sabotage. Considering these causes, it will be easier for the person to avoid them and thus more easily achieve what is proposed. These causes can be:
- own problems of prioritization of objectives.
- Lack of self-control.
- Lack of motivation or high pressures during childhood.
- Not really knowing what you want to achieve.
- A lack of self-confidence.
- limiting beliefs that the person does not deserve the same success.
- Objectives imposed by third parties.
- Fear of failure.
- Fear of change and step out of the comfort zone.
- Internal conflicts.
- Fear of not living up to the expectations of others.
All of those signs, beliefs and imprints that inhabit a person’s mind appear unexpectedly, taking control of the person and their behaviors and interfere in the projects and the possibilities of its evolution.
Self-sabotage is a manifestation of all those aspects that the person does not accept about himself, all those beliefs based on fears and which, over time, through not being confronted, have gained weight and power in it.
Therefore, these obsessive thoughts and harmful behaviors are not a symptom that there is something deep in the thought that needs to be looked into. While delving into these thoughts is often not pleasant, this self-assessment can be an opportunity to move forward and learn how to deal with any future situation that comes your way.
Characteristics of self-sabotage
There are a number of defining characteristics of self-sabotage, which allow it to appear before some situations but not before others. In other words, a person who subconsciously sabotages himself when confronted with a certain aspect or circumstance in his life should not do so in all others.
These self-sabotaging behaviors they appear above all in situations which involve a great deal of responsibility or when the person has to make an important decision, the thing will involve some kind of change in his life.
Symptoms or manifestations experienced by a self-sabotaged person include:
- For intense.
- Feeling of lack of control.
- Self-suspicion or A lack of self-confidence.
However, it is perfectly normal for a person to experience all of these sensations as they are about to undergo some sort of change in their life, and it is something that everyone experiences to a greater or lesser degree.
The main difference between people who sabotage themselves and those who don’t is that those who do they let themselves be carried away by fear and their convictions of not succeedingWhile others are able to leave these fears behind and overcome any thoughts that generate insecurity.
The most important thing in any sort of eventuality or transformation is not to dodge or avoid that fear, but be aware of this and act consistently, Without letting it invade our minds.
When the person becomes aware of both their fears and their own, often irrational, beliefs, it is much easier to choose the right decisions and avoid carrying out sabotage actions that stop or block their aspirations.
Types of self-sabotage
There are four classes of self-sabotage, which they are classified according to the type of behavior that the person performs.
1. Don’t finish things
In these cases, the person initiates a large number of challenges or projects which he ends up leaving in the middle or even abandoning. Usually, the person tends to put in many hours of work and effort, only to give up when they are about to achieve it.
The explanation found for this phenomenon is that if the person does not complete this or any other project, you won’t have to face the possibility of failure or not knowing how to live up to the subsequent demands that this success will entail.
However, what really happens is that she will never be aware of her potential, and at the same time she will be seen as a mediocre person with no skills.
They say procrastination is the art of putting things off. This is the habit of postponing or delay the activities in which the person must necessarily participate, replacing them with less important or simpler and more attractive activities.
This habit is one of the most common in the population and the reasons are very diverse. Some of these reasons may be that the person does not really like the task at hand or, and this is the most common reason for personal and professional projects, that the person has a fear of the end result.
In this way, if the person postpones the completion of the task and does not invest all the necessary effort and resources, they will have a justification if it does not go as planned. In other words, if the person is putting all of their time and effort into achieving something and still fails to achieve it, it will show their alleged incompetence, so if they don’t make an effort, it will serve as an excuse. Faced with failure.
Perfectionism or the perfect excuse to never finish. Under the shield of perfectionism the person finds the perfect excuse not to move forward, Without seeming to really know if he wants to get what he’s working for.
There are two possibilities in the excuse of perfectionism. Either the person thinks that because they can’t do something in a perfectly straightforward way, they don’t do it, or that by means of constant revisions and changes, he avoids completing the project.
In addition to all of the above, the person can find a lot of excuses to justify it. do not face any possible change or risk. These excuses can come from a lack of time, financial resources, age, etc.