The 10 keys to overcoming shyness once and for all

Do you find it difficult to relate to people? Are you unable to express your opinions or feelings? Do you care too much about what other people think of you? Are you never the center of attention at social gatherings?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, we invite you to know 10 keys to overcome shyness.

Overcoming Shyness: 10 Keys To Overcome Your Introversion

Most people who are shy (65%) believe they are shy due to external circumstances, such as excessive control from their family, being treated in a bossy or overprotective manner, or being bullied in their childhood.

Shyness should not be confused with introversion, as the latter concept refers to a biological basis of personality, while shyness is often an issue when it comes to relationships with other people. 23% attribute their shyness to their internal causes, such as a poor self-image. Fortunately, 86% of shy people are optimistic about the possibility of improving their problem if they set out to do so, Reports The Shyness Institute, experts in studies on this trait.

We invite you to find out if you are an extrovert or an introvert by reading the following article:

  • “How to know if you have a tendency to introversion or extroversion”

Shyness, like any other problem, requires professional advice and follow-up, but in mild cases, ten tips can help you overcome it if we have a clear intention to do so.

1. Don’t be so hard on yourself

Don’t demand so much when you’re surrounded by people and you think your contributions aren’t going the way you want them to. Do not worry. Most of your judgments are not based on facts but on negative thoughts you have learned about what should be optimal social behavior.

Perfection does not exist, it is better to let yourself be carried away by intuition for the moment. The most important thing, especially at the beginning, is to put into perspective the importance of even taking place these experiences that scare you so much: is it really that bad to be ridiculed from time to time, if with that you learn to master time? to express yourself and be in front of others? How many of those people that you are obsessed with giving away only your best side will you have in your day-to-day life three or four years from now?

2. Responds to social situations authentically

Don’t be reactive to them. Don’t try to impose an attitude or behavior that you don’t really feel. Laugh if something makes you laugh, not out of commitment. Speak if you want to speak, not because the situation demands it.

Think about people’s social performance it doesn’t so much depend on whether they tick the boxes of actions considered popular, but on how you show that you are comfortable or comfortable with what you are doing.. Even if you do something that is considered strange or eccentric, it could work in your favor if you prove that it is a deliberate and genuine action that reflects your personality, and that you are even aware that technically it is rare but that you don’t care what they see that side of yours.

3. When you are going to say something or make a gesture …

Take to the limit the beliefs your mind sends you. Many beliefs are limiting, sometimes you have to risk engaging in this conversation that so much fear (or rather: emotion) generates in you.

If you get used to always giving in to your fears, you will enter a dynamic in which it is no longer that you dare not, is that you will not even have the intention of going beyond. familiar habits and behaviors. , with all the limitations that this implies.

4. Learn and don’t be afraid to take action to adopt new behaviors in social situations.

Reality must be designed, in a way, as a test bed. Experiment, there is nothing more stimulating than trying things out, even if they are “wrong”. In reality, it is unique learnings and experiences that you bring with you: you are sowing seeds that will bear fruit sooner or later.

5. You can practice new social behaviors with people you trust.

You can practice with your next circles until you get used to having conversations. Maintain eye contact, develop your body language, express your ideas and emotions … Gradually, you will feel more comfortable and you will expand your range. Here is a good article to develop this set of social skills.

6. If you are avoiding doing something, you can write down what you are going to say.

Do you like to write You can repeat the interaction by writing it in a notepad or in front of the mirror until you feel comfortable. No obsession: remember that failures should be understood as successes, because they provide you with learning that will help you in the future.

7. Group meetings without appointment

It’s a good idea for frequent groups and environments where interests intersect to match yours and try to talk to new people. You will be able to engage in conversations that you can contribute a lot to, and maybe from there it will be easier for you to move around the personal realm with your interlocutors.

8. Don’t worry about social acceptance

Practice your assertiveness and don’t be afraid to be more spontaneous. In fact, being spontaneous is a very positive thing, and if you are sure others will appreciate it. Say what you think honestly and confidently, and people will likely accept you and be receptive to your opinions.

9. Get used to speaking in front of more people

Start showing yourself in situations where you can feel more comfortable. Even if you don’t realize it, you will practice and your brain will learn that talking to other people is not a risk; There’s nothing to be scared of.

10. If you are feeling nervous and shy, you can remember this

If your nerves ever get drunk, remember that there are great characters in the story who have overcome their shyness. Even if it is expensive, shyness will not be a barrier to achieving your personal and professional goals.

Bibliographical references:

  • Chavira, DA; Stein, MB; Malcarne, VL (2002). “Explore the relationship between shyness and social phobia”. Journal of Anxiety Disorders. 16 (6): pages 585 to 598.
  • Chen, X .; Rubin, K .; Sun, Y. (1992). Social reputation and peer relations among Chinese and Canadian children: a cross-cultural study. Child development, 63 (6): pages 1336-1343
  • Chung, JYY; Evans, MA (2000). Shyness and symptoms of the disease in young children. Canadian Journal of Behavioral Sciences, 32: pages 49-57.
  • Moran, J. (2016). Shrinking violets: a field guide to shyness. London: Profile.

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